They can be quite attractive, well educated and often decent, but they want to run away from them. Not understanding the reasons and not having a clear explanation, just keep your distance in communication. Instinct works.
Among such people there are those who strive for growth, are engaged in self-development, are fond of sports and yoga. Sometimes, they try to pretend that everything is fine and to be cheerful in every possible way. But this does not interrupt the train. They are carried by misfortune a mile away. And as you know, a person does not feel his smell - he can only hear it from the outside.
I dare to suggest that the reason is in decaying knowledge.
When the amount of content consumed is many times greater than the actions for its development, it causes information intoxication. It, in turn, leads to energy stagnation and decay.
If you understand. I understood to the depths. But if you don’t do it (reasoning, inferences and beautiful logical calculations do not count) - the energy of knowledge begins to stagnate, causing internal imbalance and constant dissatisfaction. And then there is our biology - the ability to form habits in actions and sensations, if they are repeated for at least one month - and the smell of unhappiness becomes your natural environment. Therefore, they say that in matters of meaningful self-development there is no turning back. If you let knowledge into yourself, be kind to deal with it.
The strength of the impact depends on the depth of penetration of the information that we consume. At the superficial level, these phenomena are practically invisible and relatively safe. But the smarter a person is and the more he is able not only to learn, but also to understand, the deeper the information penetrates - the processes are already irreversible.
I, too, at one time had to wash my own inner core from all the nasty things that had stuck over the years of endless attempts to pull reality onto the frame of my expectations, and today I look at the world exclusively through the blade of the question: "How?"
How to wash off unhappiness and stop stinking with internal pain?
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It is necessary to be treated for this infection in a comprehensive manner, since in addition to direct causes, a rather strong habit factor acts - the mechanics of the body cannot be changed by "reasonable arguments". We need purposeful actions that change the established patterns of behavior.
0. Misfortune has a bad smell and people around it smell
Point number "zero" is a phase, without which all other movements are meaningless. To begin with, it is important to understand (yes, just let it in) how disgusting it is to be an unhappy person.
Just as you are drawn to contented and calm people, so they strive to their own kind. Unhappiness attracts more unhappiness, as proof that my unhappiness is not the most unhappy. Only a person who very much wants to break out of this circle and stop being unhappy is able to walk the path of complete purification by action.
1. Complaints are the main note in this stench
In dealing with people infected with misfortune, complaints constantly break through. To the world, to yourself, to the injustice of reality. They feel sorry for their fate to the pain in their chests, although they carefully try not to admit it even to themselves. They are not satisfied with the ecology, the metro, the president, another Facebook author. Those who are more complexly arranged find more sophisticated ways to whine, wrapping all arguments in a solid corset of logic, they say, now I will show you with documents how the world is unfair to me.
They often feel “not good” for various reasons. A characteristic feature is that they make sure to let you know about it.
To justify such people, I would like to note that they often do not notice it.
In your world, there is only that where your attention is directed. Their focus is on seeking evidence of their inner pain. They find it regularly.
How to be here?
Cutting on the living - stop complaining and expressing dissatisfaction. At all. Completely. Even when it's fair. Even when "it is possible and necessary." The psyche will resist at first, you are trying to push it out of its familiar environment.
In the first two weeks, there may be an increase in cases of "real reasons" for complaints. This is how reality acts on an attempt at conscious changes - it is being rebuilt, but if you continue, the storm will subside - a turning point will pass in a month. Ideally, after 21 days.
It's the same when you come to the gym - your muscles ache, then they get used to it. The body transforms through pain and this, on the contrary, is a good sign - it means it works.
Working with complaints, like with muscles, is not for one month, but for life. This is an endless road of change, but in six months, you will be a different person. No darling.
2. “You owe me,” the unfortunate man decided from something, seeing you for the first time
There are people with whom you feel that you owe them something.
In fact, they are not out of spite. It just so happened that everyone owes them. First the parents, then the spouses, children, management, the president, again, where without him. Isn't it natural? Parents "should" love and understand, as well as a spouse, children - love and obey, leadership - pay and respect, the president - to ensure a happy and rich life. What could be “fairer”?
Therefore, just in case, you also owe something. And you feel it in the first 15 minutes of the conversation.
So, for example, an unmarried girl thinks when she meets a new guy and does not understand why again nothing works. The gaze of a devoted dog hungry is not sexy.
The problem is that an unhappy person thinks that he will stop being unhappy when other people give him something. In particular, love, money, communication and safety. All this from the inability to make yourself happy yourself and share with others from excess. Therefore, he walks with an umbilical cord at the ready, in a constant search for where to stick it, from whom to be nourished with happiness, instead of finally getting to know himself.
Nobody owes you anything. Neither love you, nor respect, nor understand, nor give you money. What can you give this person, your loved ones, colleagues, friends, yes, even the president, so that you reciprocate?
Tell me, father, is it true that sex without love is a sin? Everything without love is a sin
Once, on the slope of the Himalayan forest, they discovered the truth by which all the processes of this world are built. It was in the context of love between a man and a woman, but today I understand that the meaning of this statement extends much wider:
Love is a one way lane. This is ONLY THAT that comes FROM YOU.
I remember then even arguing, they say, all the same, without reciprocity, love is not love and so on blah-blah-blah, as I can. They just answered me with a wise silence with a barely noticeable grin, kind and at the same time sly. It seems that the person in front of me knew that the meaning of this phrase would reach me, but in exactly two years. And it amused him.
Only what you give exists in your world. If there are reasons for unhappiness around you, you send unhappiness into the world. The only way to fix this is not to look in others, but to change your signal.
Everyone in the shower! Preventively, including. And never again let misfortune stick to you.
Author: Elena Rubinina