“He who has eyes to see and ears to hear can be convinced that no mortal can keep secrets. If his lips are silent, then he speaks with the tips of his fingers."
Z. Freud.
Deception is present in most people's relationships to one degree or another. If we didn't lie, then life would be rougher and many relationships collapsed. In a world completely free from lies, politeness would disappear as a concept, people would stop hiding negative feelings that can hurt others. Probably most of us would not want to live in such an overly "sincere" society.
However, one cannot equate an attempt to smooth out an unpleasant situation, the ability to have your own secret and the desire to cheat in order to get personal benefit.
In some types of activities (business, diplomacy, etc.), deception can not only lead to large material losses, but also affect the fate of many people. The history of the Second Plague War is a vivid evidence of this.
At the beginning of World War II, Hitler managed to deceive Stalin, who, despite numerous warnings, did not believe in the outbreak of hostilities from Germany. But Hitler, in turn, was deceived and kept a large number of troops in Calais, instead of helping his defeated army in Normandy.
Failure to recognize a lie during personal contact with a person can also lead to tragedy. In 1975, Sarah-Jane Moore came to the attention of the US Secret Service in the United States as a threat to President Ford, but was released after interrogation. And just a few hours later, the woman shot at the president.
Promotional video:
Sarah Jane Moore, who assassinated the president.
What behavioral signs of deception should you pay attention to?
Research has shown that most people base their judgments only on the words of the suspects. And those who succeed in pinpointing a lie use the information provided by a person's facial expression, voice and body.
Of course, it is much easier to “catch” a person we know in deception, because we know his typical words, gestures, facial expressions - and the excitement he experiences when he is lying is likely to “slip” into his behavior.
However, lie experts argue that with a knowledge of psychology and training, you can learn to recognize deception from people unfamiliar to us. In general, its signs can be detected by the following factors:
Smile. A sincere smile is more emotional. When people lie, mask smiles appear on their faces (in addition to smiling lips, there are signs of sadness, fear, anger, or disgust.) Psychologists have found that with sincere smiles, people's feelings and processes in their brains are different from what happens with all the other smiles. A sign of a sincere smile is the participation of not only the lips, but also the muscles around the eyes. In addition to the muscles of the eyes, eyebrows also participate in a sincere smile - they drop slightly.
An example of a sincere and insincere smile.
Voice timbre. He usually gets higher when he lies. However, raising the tone can also be a sign of anxiety that a person experiences when asked an uncomfortable question.
Direction of view. Constant movement downwards means sadness, to the side - disgust, down and to the side - guilt or shame. Nevertheless, one must understand that there is a category of people who, in principle, never look into the eyes of the interlocutor, therefore, before drawing conclusions, it is good to familiarize yourself with the "standard" behavior of a person.
Emotions. With the exception of the highest intensity of passions (rage, depression), the expression of genuine feelings is short-lived and lasts no more than a few seconds. And while most people know how to simulate surprise, few people get it believable.
Inconsistency of facial expressions with words, intonations and body movements is also one of the signs of insincerity.
Facial asymmetry. If a person has a lot of asymmetrical facial expressions during a conversation, they are most likely insincere.
However, even in the presence of all of the above signs, it is impossible to draw final conclusions that the person is lying. Rather, they should serve as a warning that more information and a deeper investigation are needed. All facts and arguments must be carefully checked in order to make a final conclusion.
Each of us strives to get to know the world around us and people, and therefore it is so important for us that our opinion of a person coincides with what he really is. Someone else's lies can not only affect our personal interests and cause material damage, but also make us feel naive and stupid, and this is the most painful for some.
Therefore, in order to secure our property and self-esteem, we learn to the best of our ability to understand the behavior of others, in order to be a cut above and one step ahead of those who deceive …
Author: Viktorya Nekrasova