Doorbell. The man opens, and on the threshold stands … death. All in ribbons, bows, with bright inflatable balls and feathers on the head instead of a hood. " - Who are you?" the man asks. - "I am your death." - "God, what a ridiculous death!" (very old anecdote).
Lady Macbeth. Start
Samantha Stone is a little girl, eight years old in total, her eyes are bright, clean, unclouded by the knowledge of the harsh truth of life. Somehow Samantha was guilty before her parents, and the father, as the eldest in the family, ordered the baby to sleep, leaving no sweets for dinner.
The daughter resignedly moved to her room. But on the way she looked into the closet, took a jar of rat poison granules from the shelf and made her way into the kitchen. There, on the table, was Dad's cup of freshly brewed coffee. Little Samantha threw a few pellets from the jar into this cup. Then she thoroughly mixed the drink, took the poison back to the pantry and went to bed. Of course, dad was never pumped out, but the judges were on the side of Samantha. After all, she is only eight years old, she simply did not know what she was doing, and therefore the sentence was more than mild: something like a conditional house arrest under the obligatory supervision of her mother. The verdict had to be revised literally a month later, when the blue-eyed Samantha tried in the same way to send her "overseer" - her own mother to the next world.
She looked like a real terrorist
It was this phrase that was repeated and repeated by one of the police officers when drawing up the protocol on the investigation of manslaughter, in which 14 representatives of the law and one civilian participated.
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The notorious civilian was female and bore the name Megan Fry. Megan, apparently, was stupid, and a rather serious age (44 years old), as Ilf and Petrov wrote, “did not allow hoping that she would ever grow wiser”. Yes, and everything ended in such a way that now there is no need to talk about any change in consciousness.
But let's start in order. Each police department has its own training ground. You have probably seen him in police action films: narrow streets lined with plywood "houses", from the windows and doors of which plywood targets pop up every now and then - "terrorists" who must be hit with a well-aimed shot or, conversely, ignored if the target shows a peaceful a citizen.
What Fry was doing in this target city is no longer clear. In any case, unfortunately, she ended up there along with 14 police officers undergoing training. Moreover, the lady decided to announce her presence in a rather original way: she suddenly jumped out in front of the servants of the law, shouting "Boo!"
Of the 67 shots fired by the police, 40 hit the target, and a civilian should not be fired without a reason. The judges considered for a long time whether to count "Boo!" reason for shooting to kill, but never came to a definite conclusion.
Unprofessional
Ivan McGuire was a professional skydiver. Who are skydivers? These are people who spend all their free days either at the airfield or in the air - in free flight. People for whom life without skydiving is not life at all. In 1988, Ivan acquired a video camera and for the first time decided to shoot his jump on film. He arranged the time of the flight with the pilot of the plane, put on a special suit and helmet, and firmly attached a camera to the helmet. Rising into the air, he opened the hatch, pressed the "Record" button and took the usual step into the abyss … and only after that he remembered that he had forgotten to take a parachute with him.
Two Iranians were driving in an open car along a busy highway, when an angry cobra literally fell from the sky on them. Both the driver and the passenger received several bites, each of which was, in principle, fatal. The investigation suggested that the cobra was caught by a mountain eagle, but he simply could not hold it in its claws during the flight and dropped it, “successfully” hitting it directly into the car.
And three residents of Sudan received another "present" from above, but with the same - lethal for all three - outcome. Straight from the sky, several boxes with humanitarian aid fell on them, which were dropped by the Belgian Air Force specifically for the residents of starving Sudan.
Three days in the kingdom
In June 2001, the Crown Prince of Nepal, Dipendra, was to be crowned king, and then married. Dad, mom, aunts and uncles have already picked up a bride for the prince, but, apparently, Dipendra was not happy with their choice. He was so unhappy that overnight he shot from a pistol all his relatives who had gathered for the coronation, both near and far.
He himself, however, also received many wounds, most likely from the guards trying to protect the royal family. One way or another, but Dipendra fell into a coma, after which he was quickly crowned. Without regaining consciousness, he "reigned" for three days - from June 1 to 4, after which he died.
Love drama and Karabas Barabas
A certain Michael Lewis cheated on his lover, which, of course, severely offended his sexual partner. Michael was an enlightened man, he loved to watch films, especially with the participation of Bruce Willis. And in one of the films, namely "Die Hard - 3", Michael saw the perfect plan for revenge. He drugged his ex, and then put a double-sided poster on him, like those in which street barkers walk, but instead of advertising burgers and other things, he wrote the following on it: "Death to all niggas!" and "God loves the Ku Klux Klan." Then Lewis took the unfortunate man to the center of Harlem and left there. The "former" did not live long.
Austrian Hans Steininger long and lovingly grew a beard. In the end, this hair accessory reached a length of almost one and a half meters - just right to think about the Guinness Book of Records! But it never came to getting into the famous book. Firstly, Hans lived in 1567, when there was no talk of any Guinness, and secondly, just this year he died, entangled in his own beard, while fleeing a fire.
Big races
In 1927, British racing driver Perry-Thomas decided to break his own speed record set a year earlier. And after all, he broke and even set a new record - 171 miles (275 kilometers) per hour! But the racer arrived at the finish line … without a head! Literally in the last hundred meters, a chain flew off his car, which beheaded the unfortunate man.
The Spanish pilot decided to fly his small plane at night, using a deserted road as a runway. For safety, he asked his friend to drive down this road and illuminate it with headlights. The friend obeyed, the pilot accelerated the plane towards the burning headlights, but did not have time to take off and crashed into the car. The pilot was lightly wounded, but the driver was killed.
Victims of light eroticism
Shelley Mueller, an ardent lady who was still hot from her honeymoon, threw her husband to work in her car, kissed him on the lips and, unable to resist, slightly opened her blouse at parting, showing her beautiful breasts to her husband.
This intimate action, in addition to the spouse, was seen by a taxi driver named Tim Vegas passing by. Admiring the feminine charms, Tim distracted himself from driving and flew into the first floor of a nearby hospital building with acceleration, getting straight into the dental office. At this very time in the office, the doctor Pamela Klesik professionally wielded a drill in the mouth of a certain Brian Corcoran.
Professionalism did not save Pamela. From the sudden appearance of the car in the office, she jumped in place, and the working drill stuck the unfortunate patient into the gum. Brian reflexively closed his jaw and bit off two of Pamela's fingers. And at the same moment, one of the bricks separated from the destroyed wall of the hospital and lit Shelley - the culprit of this whole performance and the lover of showing her breasts - right over her head.
The victims of light eroticism were: Shelley Mueller - a head injury, Tim Vegas - minor bodily injuries, Brian Corcoran - mutilated gums and Pamela Klesik - two amputated fingers. Fortunately, this time everything went without a lethal outcome.
Magazine: Secrets of the 20th century №31. Author: Konstantin Karelov