Syphilis is a terrible blow to the happy hedonism for which Europe was famous before the era of Puritanism. Who would have thought that sex tourism in the Caribbean and a grand orgy with several thousand prostitutes in Naples would turn out to be such a failure? Failure of noses, including. But it all started somewhere. Once the world woke up after another night of love and realized: no more carefree fun, now you can die from sex or, worse, turn into a zombie.
How the first ever vacation in the Caribbean turned into an epidemic of syphilis.
In 1493, Columbus and his friends returned from the world's first tour of the Caribbean and brought goodies: a new route to India (not really), land acquisitions for the crown, tobacco, coconuts, syphilis and tropical fruits. Syphilis was, of course, an unplanned gift. Although it is possible that the Arawak Indians deliberately slipped spoiled goods to the white-skinned.
Returning from the voyage, infected, but still believing that it would "scratch and pass" sailors and soldiers began to do what befits sailors and soldiers. They began to burn the doubloons they received in brothels and quickly went bankrupt. After that, the poor fellows (and those who became infected through them) had no choice but to go back to work as mercenaries.
According to the Castilian doctor Rai Diaz de Isle, the world's first patient with syphilis was Vincent Pinzon, who, if anything, was the captain of the Nigny, one of the three ships on which Columbus's team discovered America.
Charles VIII tries to chop off Naples, and syphilis prepares to chop off Charles VIII's nose.
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In Europe, another serious storm broke out, so mercenaries were in the price. The French king Charles VIII, who married 15-year-old Mary of Anjou, dreamed of winning her heart and at the same time becoming famous as a great conqueror. However, nothing came of it, everything turned out even worse than "it never gets worse."
Charles VIII had not only a funny face, but also some rights to Italian lands, so he outfitted a campaign and went to conquer the Kingdom of Naples and everything that comes along the way. In addition to the army of soldiers, which consisted of 30 thousand people, he equipped an army of regimental prostitutes, of which there were no less than eight hundred. Taking care of his fighters, His Majesty did not forget about himself, taking with him a whole harem of maids of honor who were supposed to "help with the housework." The economy of the great commander did not remain inactive, so he set an infectious example to the troops.
The campaign went great at first. Naples quickly fell at the feet of Charles, and he proclaimed himself king of the Kingdoms of Naples and Jerusalem, as well as emperor of the East. What more could a man want at 24? On the occasion of the incredible victory, the king and his troops staged a grandiose two-month orgy, which attracted thousands of prostitutes from all over Italy. In such an environment, even a couple of women with syphilis, waitresses and soldiers would be enough to start an epidemic. There were clearly more infected people, and soon almost every third soldier in the glorious army was covered with ulcers.
The cause of syphilis was considered cannibalism and sex with horses.
The epidemic struck like a bolt from the blue. It was like a plague, but much uglier and more terrible. It spread in an unknown way and immediately gave rise to a lot of misinterpretation.
The contemporaries of this epidemic reasoned as follows: if the Lord sent the plague for mortal sins, then a new, even more despicable disease - for something much more disgusting. From here came the first two theories of the origin of syphilis. The first said that it was punishment for cannibalism, which Charles's soldiers were engaged in. The second said that the reason was mass intercourse with horses. Although we understand: who needs horses, if His Majesty invited thousands of the hottest Italian girls to a party?
Charles VIII is defeated and dies like a loser king.
Fortune turned against the French, and the combined forces of Italians and Spaniards drove the army of syphilitics back to France. Karl was put to shame and, to top it off, suffered from smallpox, which disfigured his face. It would be logical and ironic if in fact it was syphilis, but most likely it is not. Arriving home, the king slaughtered the offspring, and no one had problems with venereal disease, so he really had the mind to protect himself from this ailment.
Karl, having suffered a humiliating defeat, dismissed the troops, and with them the mercenaries, who poured into all corners of Europe, spreading the "love plague". The tsunami of the epidemic was so powerful that in just a decade and a half, syphilis spread throughout Eurasia and North Africa. In 1512, even the Japanese faced it, who, it would seem, were trying with all their might to fence themselves off from the rest of the world.
As Voltaire said: “In their gullible campaign against Italy, the French acquired Genoa, Naples and syphilis. Then they were thrown back and lost Naples and Genoa, but syphilis remained with them."
By the way, King Charles VIII, shortly after the failed expedition to Italy, died a slightly unnatural death: he accidentally hit his head on the door jamb and broke his head like an overripe pumpkin. Apparently, the courtiers were so unhappy that, at the suggestion of their monarch, syphilis began to be called a "French disease" that they did not even invent death for him with fantasy, as, for example, in the case of the king's namesake, Charles the Evil.
Karl the Evil and Syphilis.
Syphilis changed the course of history.
Syphilis has changed the world much more than it might seem at first glance. It was not just another infection - it became a lever that moved mountains of history. Largely due to syphilis, a split of the church took place and Protestants came to success. Puritanism would not have found such a response in the hearts of the flock if it did not have a living (and sometimes no longer) confirmation of how the Lord punishes for a riotous life.
Precisely because syphilis, first of all, has a detrimental effect on hair, wigs appeared, which have become the hallmark of the New Age. It is not surprising that mankind has remembered and began to actively use another wonderful invention - condoms.
Likewise, the need to treat sagging noses gave rise to European surgery. The operation to restore the nose was done in a bizarre way: a piece of skin was cut from the patient's hand, but not completely - a flap had to remain connected to the body so that the blood vessels continued to supply this piece of skin with blood. Then the flap was applied to the nose, and the patient was forced to walk with his hand tied to his head until the piece of skin engrafted in the place of the nose. The person who came up with this was either a genius or a madman.
It was syphilis that helped the Netherlands gain independence from Spain. Disease was one of the foundations of anti-Spanish propaganda: Dutch Protestants argued that the source of the infection was the Catholics and that, getting rid of their oppression, it would be possible to defeat the disease.
Be that as it may, neither religious propaganda nor the fear of a terrible disease defeated syphilis. People continued to fornicate left and right, no matter what. Suffice it to say that in Renaissance Europe, he generally became the main cause of death. Roughly speaking, the average European was more likely to die from syphilis than from wars, hunger, other diseases, and even more so old age. Against this backdrop, the fact that three of the popes supposedly had this shameful ailment does not seem so surprising.
Euphemisms for syphilis.
(which you can show off in the company).
The word "Syphilis" has a curious (and rather obscene) origin story. It was invented by the doctor and poet Girolamo Fracastoro, who gave the name "Syphilus" (that is, "friend of pigs") to the hero of his poem. In it, the author allegorically told about the symptoms of the disease and presented his version of its origin: the shepherd Syphilus, yearning for women, reclined with his pigs and for this he was punished by the fastidious gods.
Everyone liked the story and they began to call the infection "Syphilis". Although before that she had many other sonorous nicknames: Black Lion, Cupid's disease, Great smallpox, Plague of venereal disease, and the Scots gave her the stern name Grandgor, which is more suitable for this disease than the frivolous "Syphilis".