The Darwin Prize is not money, nor is it a reward at all. And, frankly, there is no one to hand it over. Because those who could rightfully be awarded this award, out of their own stupidity, went to a different world, which they deserved this non-material encouragement, having rid humanity of their genes.
Up the stairs leading down
Exactly at midnight on December 18, 2018, a Maryland resident decided to fulfill his long-held dream: to climb the stairs of the escalator that runs downhill.
Why midnight? It's very simple. There are no people on the escalator anymore, but it still works - the most convenient time for such a strange dream to come true.
Everything went surprisingly well. There were really no people at the station, and the escalator worked properly. The dreamer happily jumped on the spot and ran at a run along the crawling steps.
And he ran almost to the very top. He has only five steps left to overcome, three … two …! And then it all ended. The runner stumbled on the penultimate step and thundered head down to the very base of the moving staircase. The station workers found his body only in the morning. And the adventures of the unlucky escalator runner have been restored thanks to video cameras.
Promotional video:
Santa Claus doesn't exist
A normal mentally and physically strong Santa Claus nevertheless comes to visit the kids through the door. Overweight and, most likely, poorly friendly with the head Santa Claus for some reason prefers to climb into houses through the chimney.
Dr. Jacqueline Cotarak, despite the fact that she was already in her fifties, until the last moment believed in Santa and that through the chimney one could easily enter the building. This is exactly what she tried to do, choosing the house of her ex-boyfriend as an object to visit while the owner was away. Jacqueline clearly did not come with gifts, but we will never know about it. The lady was corny stuck in the chimney, and her corpse was found only when they tried to light the fireplace.
Gentlemen and ladies who believe that if Santa Claus fits into the chimney, then you will definitely slip into it if necessary! We warn you: not only will you get stuck (even cats sometimes get stuck), so no one else will hear you, even though you will burst out screaming. When someone is yelling while sitting in a chimney, you cannot hear him until you look into this chimney.
I want to live forever
Obviously, this is the motto chosen by a 48-year-old healthy eating aficionado from England named Basil Brown. And he chose carrot juice as a medicine that will serve his aspirations for immortality.
Without a doubt, carrot juice is very useful, it contains such a bunch of vitamins and minerals that we will not even list them here, so as not to waste space. But there should be a measure in everything, even, or rather, even more so, in the consumption of vitamins.
However, our hero did not know the measure and began to drink a gallon (a little more than 4.5 liters) of carrot juice every day. For 10 days he confidently made his way to immortality, and on the 11th he was taken to the morgue. An autopsy showed that Brown's liver was the first to live long, and the rest of the organs followed. His skin was bright orange, which suggested to the pathologists the correct diagnosis - the abuse of carrot juice.
Hold the steering wheel, you pervert
If the driver is talking on the phone while driving, he will be fined. And if he, while driving a car, watches a movie in parallel? And if this movie is also indecent? And if the driver also jerks off to this movie … You can't write to us about it, you don't even want to think about it, it is so disgusting, indecent and certainly inappropriate, given the speed of the car in which our individual was moving. It's good that no one except him was hurt. And no one saw this shamelessness, except for the Michigan State Highway Police, who had to extract what was left of the pervert and restore the picture of events from a set of obscene films recorded on the phone and the fact that there were no pants on the driver's corpse.
I remember evrything
Elephants have a very good memory. If you have once offended an elephant, then you better not appear again in his field of vision. But some not very smart people (we guarantee you that they are stupid, otherwise they would not have been nominated for the Darwin Prize and in our article) forget that they hurt the elephants, and go back to where they did not so long ago …
In April 2019, a group of poachers made their way into South Africa's Kruger National Park. They had already been there - they hunted, if you can call it a hunt - for the tusks of elephants and, apparently, left extremely unpleasant memories.
In short, the elephants found poachers and instead of ignoring them or hiding in the jungle, they attacked intruders. Several scoundrels managed to escape, but one of them was trampled to death. Later, his body was found by the huntsmen near the road - the elephant, having dealt with his offender, took his body, let's say, to his fellow tribesmen so that they could arrange a decent funeral for him. It is clear that no one punished the elephant for the lynching committed.
Overstrained slightly
In March 2019, a citizen climbed into a private garage in Marion, Indiana. Surely he was counting on a set of tools or a pair of wheels, but discovered, as it seemed to him, something much more valuable. The find turned out to be a huge old safe, locked, of course.
Since the safe is closed, therefore, there is something in it, the thief reasoned, and this is something very valuable for sure (that the safe with "valuables" for some reason is in the garage, not in the house, the burglar does not thought). It was not possible to open the steel box, and the thief decided … to take it with him.
How he was going to take out the 900-kilogram safe - history is silent. In any case, in the morning the owner of the garage found the corpse of an unlucky thief, crushed by this very safe. The poor fellow was no longer breathing. By the way, the safe was empty.
Instead of a helmet and body armor
But this is just madness, which has thoroughly captured individual tribes of West Africa. For some reason, many representatives of these tribes sincerely believe that the best protection against a bullet is not armor, but … an amulet bought from a local shaman. Shamans, we note, are in no hurry to convince “their clients, and this, from the point of view of shamans, although cynical, but pragmatic. Because the client pays good money for the charmed amulet, but he has no opportunity to test it in the case - for this you need to try to shoot yourself. If the person protected by the amulet remains alive after being hit by a bullet, therefore, the amulet has completed its task, and there are no complaints about the shaman. And if the amulet did not "work", and its owner, having received a bullet, died, then who will sue the shaman? Deceased? So, you see, the business is very convenient.
But we wrote this long introduction only to briefly talk about a 26-year-old Nigerian named Chinaka Adoezuwe. In 2018, Chinaka bought a bullet-proof amulet, which already speaks of his mental abilities, and then decided to test it in action. He called several friends, gave one of them a Kalashnikov assault rifle (Nigeria is full of these machines, they are stacked in every house) and opened his black chest, protected by a newly acquired amulet, to meet the shots.
The Kalashnikov assault rifle unconditionally defeated African magic.
Magazine: Secrets of the 20th century №22. Author: Konstantin Karelov