The hymen (or hymen) is a fold of the mucous membrane around the entrance to the vagina, which has been preserved in the process of evolution. Despite its biological rudimentary nature, it still plays a large sociocultural role. Liza Moroz, host of the podcast "Have you already?", Found out who sells and buys virginity, whether such a deal is legal and how feminists regard the trade in "innocence".
I applied to a closed group on VKontakte, where they sell the "first night right". A week later, I received a message from Herman Robertovich: "Do you want to sell your virginity at a profit?" I go to his page - no posts, no photos. I think I got a fake, but I still answer his question "yes". True, I lost my virginity at 17, while the parents of my school love were not at home. I was definitely not going to sell it, simply because I did not know about such an opportunity. Although, even if I was better informed, I would not take money for defloration: anti-capitalist views would prevent me.
Why does she sell and he buys?
But not everyone thinks so. For example, Diana, who recently posted an advertisement for the sale in the same group on VKontakte, decided on such a commodity-money exchange, "because the family has big debts." She is going to help her mother, and she, of course, is not aware of her daughter's plans. Yulia, an 18-year-old member of the community, also has good intentions: she collects money "for her mother's treatment and housing repairs." The user Marina explains her desire differently:
Bidder Ocean Angel writes:
While I flip through all these ads, German offers to pay for plane tickets to Moscow and is bombarded with questions. “Upon arrival, will you be ready to be checked by a gynecologist? How old are you full years? No tattoo or piercing? " he scribbles. I answer everything. But from him there is zero reaction - he continues questioning. He asks to send "fresh" photos, write your height, shoot a video pass, "in order to finally confirm the decision and take tickets there and back."
Diana told me that out of 20 guys who wrote, 15 tried to "dissolve" her into intimate photos, called from a video and offered virtual sex, but she refused. It seems that my "mystery shopper" does not need such content, which means that I am not a hunter for light erotica.
Julia also came across men who only need photos of naked girls - after receiving them, they disappear. But besides them, there are those who are turned on by the very fact of correspondence. “They can be compared to those who like to bargain in the market,” she explains. Although there are still men with "serious intentions". “One day a guy wrote to me and asked about the price. She did not suit him, and he asked if I know someone who also sells virginity, but cheaper, - Julia tells me in a voice message. - And my friend was selling it for only 100 thousand rubles. In the end, they met - they succeeded.
There are also those who are interested in trying sex with an innocent girl, because this is something out of the ordinary. Still others need it to raise their self-esteem, they see it as a fact that they can brag to their friends."
In support of her words, I find Alex's post: “I'll pay well a girl who is ready to lose her virginity with two men at the same time. If you really want it to be different from everyone else, then we will meet with pleasure. And Gregory wanted to celebrate New Year's holidays with the virgin - as they say, as you celebrate the New Year, you will spend it.
In one of the communities I find Sergei, whose page looks quite real: several selfies, posts on the wall, in audio recordings - Max Korzh, and in the communities - "Kept women", "Attributes of a rich life" and "Car lovers". When I asked what motivates him to pay for the “first night” and continue to sponsor the life of a stranger, he replies: “On the one hand, I don’t want to take on obligations, but money gives me the opportunity to merge whenever I want. I paid and that's it - nothing else is required of you. On the other hand, I like to realize that I can spend this money because I have it - this is a banal power. Plus I get turned on by the fact that I'll be her first. It's like winning a race."
Herman Robertovich writes a more poetic answer: “It looks like an expensive cognac for many years or a rare car - some kind of association. In general, I am ready to pay for this”. I draw a conclusion: he and Sergei clearly fall into the category of collectors.
How much can you earn?
After a rigorous selection based on external data and price discussion, the seller and the buyer meet. Evgeniy describes how it happens: “A luxurious hotel, a romantic dinner, a sea of flowers, a magnificent view from the window, or a bath with champagne and more. Everything will be the way you want it! At the end of the meeting, a gift awaits you - money, jewelry, shopping, a trip to the sea or something else of your choice."
Like a carbon copy, Herman Robertovich paints a picture of what awaits me if I agree: "The hotel has a view, everything is beautiful and without haste, money in advance, but first check with a gynecologist." Sergei says that before sex, he always arranges a date for the girl, but he is in no hurry to pay: 50% before and 50% after. He also does not mind establishing a sponsorship relationship with a girl if she liked everything. Herman also “helps the motivated”, but he also looks positively at the romantic continuation.
As for the prices, they all offer different. Some guy writes in a group on VKontakte: "I can't give you millions, but enough for a new phone number." Herman's rates are higher: he promises 400 thousand. Sergei is also not on trifles and is ready to pay one and a half million. But the girls complain that there is terrible dumping on the market, so most of the real offers are 20-30 thousand rubles.
Despite this, the number of people willing to sell the hymen is not decreasing.
How does she imitate, and he throws?
I don't like one-sided communication with Herman, so I ask him to tell a little about himself and show himself. As a result, I get the message "36 years old, sporty" and a photograph in pixels, where he allegedly cuts the waves on a kiteboard. A little later, when we go to telegram, my interlocutor suddenly turns 38, and his biography is supplemented with facts - "Russian successful businessman."
I saw the same description in a group on VKontakte. “I am looking for a virgin from 165 cm. I will pay for a flight to Moscow for one night. 38 years old, successful Russian sports businessman. Ready to get checked by a gynecologist, don't have a tattoo or piercing? The budget is 400-500 thousand rubles, money before being deprived of the card or in cash. Meeting at one of the best hotels in Moscow , - posted by Oleg Aristarkhovich.
Perhaps this is the same person who multiplies accounts to increase their chances. Or is it a recruiting agency for girls. Although such "offices" look different in social networks. For example, like this: “Guaranteed to buy 'innocence' from my boss. I will always be there, we will take the money in advance without problems and hassle. Who is tired of boring correspondence and miserable bred, girls, go to me! Consider all virgins, only real ones, there will be a check! They do not use social networks, they are really wealthy people, they earn money and have agents. I am a good agent and I know what's what. It's safe and calm with me!"
But "divorce" occurs not only from the guys. Girls or fakes hiding behind female names also like to get easy money. A discussion participant under the nickname Seryoga Molot tells about this:
German Robertovich writes that checking with his personal gynecologist is mandatory. “There are a lot of scammers who 'fake' virginity. Someone is performing an operation, but it is impossible to restore it without a trace,”he explains.
“In fact, you can,” says obstetrician-gynecologist Natalya Moroz. - It's all about the structure of the hymen. Initially, it can be of different forms: patchwork, jagged, fringed, lattice, partitioned, etc. During hymenoplasty, its torn edges are sutured, and as a result, any shape can be obtained.
Instead of an operation, a businesswoman can stock up on her friend's blood. A participant of the forum tells about this option: “A friend donated blood for the“restored”residents of the neighboring republic, so that they could“honestly”paint the sheet from a test tube on their wedding day. They also advise to buy an artificial hymen. It costs $ 30 on this site. There is a special group on VKontakte where you can also order a special set. Their website says: "5 minutes - and you are a girl … And no one will know your secret," and the community gave instructions: "Wash your hands. Open the aluminum bag. Insert the contents into the vagina 3-4 cm deep 20 minutes before intercourse. Rinse off after intercourse."
Is this even legal?
German Robertovich follows all the rules for buying virginity: he does not ask for intimate photos, does not offer an advance payment and is ready to pay for a trip to the capital for two days. I say that I have free time only at the end of the month, and I get the answer: “It is still very far away. I thought we could organize everything one of these days. But in any case I will be waiting for you."
While he is waiting, I am checking the legality of this activity together with a lawyer and co-author of the bill on the prevention of domestic violence, Alena Popova.
In addition to the trade itself, posts-ads from girls who want to sell the "first night's right" appear on social networks. Can this be considered an advertisement, as if they were exchanging an iPhone for money?
And how, then, to qualify the activities of agents who collect contacts of girls on social networks and sites and offer their services to men? “It is precisely their activities that fall either under the involvement or under the organization of prostitution. These are articles of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. Again, if it is proven that selling efficacy is prostitution,”concludes Alena Popova.
And what about feminism?
Model Ekaterina Kryuchkova used the feminist slogan “My body is my business” in her video message at the Cinderella Escorts auction. So she showed that selling her own virginity is her personal desire. But is this really a desire or is it a necessary measure?
Philosopher Debra Schatz says the sex market, which seeks providers from stigmatized or disadvantaged social backgrounds, does not create conditions for informed consent, harms the health of participants, or reinforces harmful stereotypes about women or other groups is of questionable value. And Anna Phillips, professor of political and gender theory at the London School, argues that those who sell their sexual services do so only under the influence of circumstances, and blames the system for existing inequality.
It turns out, on the one hand, selling virginity by girls who have made an independent decision is empowerment. On the other hand, it is the only chance to get out of poverty. But there is a common denominator - "virginity" - a patriarchal social construct created to control a woman's sexuality. The fact of having virginity is a sexist assessment because it is only required of women. The commodification of the hymen increases the condemnation of women who lack it for various reasons - they themselves are labeled with the word "whore", and their moral principles are called into question. Moreover, this once again "confirms" that sex can only be penetrative, which means that all other methods of sexual satisfaction are not considered "real", and those other than heterosexual are excluded.
"The hymen can tell about a woman's sex life about the same as the head of the penis can tell about a man's life, that is, nothing," writes Hannah Blank in her book "The Virgin: An Untouched Story" and calls the hymen a useless atavism. But as long as this atavism is considered a quality mark in society, the illegal trade in a thin fold of leather will flourish.
Author: Lisa Moroz