The question "What is there, beyond the threshold of death?" worries people for a long time. Many publications are devoted to his research, the impressions of hundreds of people who survived clinical death and who returned "from there" are described. The Polish artist Alicja Ziętek also visited "there".
She talked about it in the article "Easels" published in the magazine Nieznany Swiat. We present to your attention an abridged translation of this article.
My clinical death occurred during pregnancy. January 8, 1989. At about 22:00, I started bleeding profusely. There was no pain, only severe weakness and chills. I realized that I was dying.
In the operating room, various devices were connected to me, and the anesthesiologist began to read out their readings. Soon I began to gasp and heard the doctor's words: - I am losing contact with the patient, I do not feel her pulse, I need to save the child … - The voices of those around me began to subside, their faces blurred, then darkness fell …
… I found myself in the operating room again. But now I feel good, easy. Doctors scurried around the body on the table. She approached him. It was me. My dichotomy shocked me. There, on the table, I lay like a lifeless deck, and at the same time I was here - healthy, full of strength.
And she could even float in the air. Miraculous healing? But why doesn't anyone see me?
I swam to the window. It was dark outside, and suddenly I was seized by panic, I felt that I must certainly attract the attention of doctors. I began to shout that I had already recovered, and that there was no need to do anything with me - with that one. But they did not see or hear me. I'm tired of stress and. rising higher, hung in the air.
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The strength gradually returned to me. I was sure that I was alive, because I had sight, smell, touch. I just didn't feel the heaviness of my body. Due to an unusual state, I was seized by a strong
fear. I realized that since no one sees or hears me, it means that I have become different. But why? I'm alive! So what happened to me?
Alienation from the mortal world
I tried to touch different objects - the sensations were the same. I decided to get in touch with people on the street. Swam out through the window, climbed over the street lamps and headed towards the village. She dropped to the ground and walked down the street. I saw a guy and a girl standing at the gate of the house. They held hands and talked. I went up to them. looked both of them in the eye, walked around. No reaction. -You what. don't you see me? - I shouted loudly. Instead of answering, the guy drew the girl to him, kissed her, and they parted.
I realized that some kind of barrier had arisen between me and the real world, and a nervous tremor seized me.
Ringing voices were heard ahead. I went to meet a flock of young people. She stopped a few steps away from them. Now they will stumble upon me … And they passed through me, as through an empty space! I was really scared.
In desperation, I decided to return to the operating room. I tried to establish contact with the body, which no one else was doing. If I succeeded, I would enter it, reunite with it. But the body did not respond to my attempts. I made sure that I was in complete isolation.
I could see, hear and feel the world around me, but people from this world did not see, hear or feel me!
Visit to a beautiful country
A shining white beam appeared from the ceiling. He descended to me without blinding or burning. I realized that the ray is calling to itself, promises release from isolation. Without hesitation, she went to meet him.
I moved along the beam, as if to the top of an invisible mountain, feeling completely safe. Having reached the top, I saw a wonderful country, a harmony of bright and at the same time almost transparent colors sparkling around. It is impossible to describe in words. I looked around with all my eyes, and everything that was around filled me with such admiration that I shouted: -God, what a beauty! I have to write all this. I was seized with an ardent desire to return to my former reality and to display in pictures everything that I saw here.
After thinking about it, I found myself back in the operating room. But this time she looked at her as if from the side, as if at a movie theater screen. And the movie seemed black and white. The contrast with the colorful landscapes of the wonderful country was striking, and I decided to travel there again. The feeling of charm and admiration did not pass. And in my head every now and then the question arose: "Am I alive or not?" And I was also afraid that if I went too far into this unknown world, then there would be no return. And at the same time I really didn’t want to part with such a miracle.
However, the desire to quickly capture on canvas and show other people an amazing country arose with renewed vigor. At that moment, something stopped me (as if grabbing me by the neck from behind) and pushed me through the transparent bluish barrier. I went through her like through jelly.
Now I was not looking at this paradise beauty from the outside, I was in it! And with all my eyes I looked at every detail.
It's very close - you can reach it with your hand - a rainbow arched like on Earth. And the colors are the same: blue, yellow, red. On Earth, a rainbow portends good weather. And here?
Conversation with the Holy Spirit
“You see the accumulation of basic energies of different strength and different action. Each of them appears in its own color."
The words sounded distinctly in my mind, as if they were spoken by someone next to me.
I walked on. There was a sea of red tulips all around. I bent over one and began to examine it. Amazing - we could mentally communicate with each other! And he told me about himself. I stopped at other flowers and they all talked to me. Everyone, like people on Earth, had their own desires and problems. I was suddenly horrified that I was stepping on living things. She looked down at her feet. But it turned out that I do not cause any harm to the flowers, my step became so light. And I understood: everything is arranged here. that all creatures of nature are equally important, have the same value. As if as a reward for my understanding, a magnificent white robe suddenly appeared on me, and in my mind sounded:
"Now you can choose your own path by which you go further."
I was again seized by the desire to share with people the joyful sensations I experienced here, I decided to return to them. With great regret, I soared up over the wonderful edge. In flight, I turned back to enjoy the magnificent sight again and again.
The blue space around him gradually darkened, becoming deep blue. Suddenly, a blurry vision appeared nearby, similar in appearance to a person. It was the Holy Spirit, it radiated good, and in my head his words sounded:
“Do not be afraid, I will not harm you. Can you speak with me. If you want, ask me questions and I will answer
them. And if you wish to return to your world, tell me about it."
And we started our mental conversation. The Spirit became my confessor, pastor, teacher and friend. I realized that he is the embodiment of genuine kindness.
I told him everything about myself, told the most intimate secrets, both good and bad. When I wanted to hide something from him, I immediately felt that he knew about it. And she was no longer afraid to reveal to him the darkest moments of her life. He did not condemn me, but explained, pointed out mistakes, taught me how to be critical of myself.
At some point I am. unexpectedly for herself, she said:
"I am not worthy to be in heaven, because I do not go to mass in the church, although I am considered a Catholic." And the Holy Spirit said:
“The church was built by people. If you believe in God, it is enough to sit on a roadside stone to pray to him."
While talking, we flew through the endless expanses of space, bright dots flashed in the thick blue, but they did not sparkle and did not blind the eyes. I saw our Earth from above, it looked exactly like in the images taken from satellites - it was just as beautiful and multicolored. And I asked: "Tell me, is the Earth in danger of destruction?" And he answered:
“Life on Earth, like on all other celestial bodies, has its own period of existence. But how long it will last depends on people. So far, people are destroying nature and destroying the Earth, and she rebuffs them. However, the energy of the Earth is extinguished during this confrontation."
Return
We approached a huge cloud of pink fog, I wanted to be inside it. But the Spirit stopped me. "Don't go there, it's dangerous!" he cautioned. I suddenly became anxious, I felt a certain threat and
decided to return to her body. And she found herself in a long dark tunnel. She flew over it alone, the Holy Spirit was no longer there.
… I opened my eyes. I saw doctors, a room with beds. I was lying on one of them. There were four people in white robes standing next to me. Raising my head, I asked:
"Where I am? And where is that beautiful country?"
The doctors looked at each other, one smiled and stroked my head. I felt ashamed of my question, because they probably thought that I was not all right with my head.
This is how I experienced clinical death and being outside my own body. Now I know that those who have gone through this are not mentally ill, but normal people. Not distinguishing in any way from the rest, they returned “from there”, having learned such feelings and experiences that do not fit into generally accepted concepts and ideas. And I also know that during that trip I acquired more knowledge, comprehended and understood more than in my entire previous life.
Translated from Polish by Vadim ILYIN
"Secrets of the XX century"