In Soviet times, it was argued that there was no sex in the USSR. But since I belong to the post-war generation of "Baby-Boomers" and have lived in the USSR for more than 40 years, then as a "witness" of that time, I say the opposite. It was very even …
Another thing is that no one in the country spoke sanctimoniously about this. And the parents "hung noodles" to their children, that the children are brought by the stork, or are in the cabbage. I also confirm this …
In some countries of the world it was completely different [1-3]. For example, at a lecture, a professor from the State Institute of Physics and Technology told that when he was on a business trip to scientific and educational institutions of the GDR, he was scheduled to attend a lesson in the 4th grade of a typical Berlin school. He thought: - "Well, what am I a professor, have not seen in the lessons of a simple school?" And I wanted to refuse. But the Germans are pedantic people, they did not accept any refusals and mysteriously reported: - "It will be useful for you to see it …".
They come. An ordinary school. The usual lesson. Lesson topic: - "The structure and function of male and female genital organs." Lecture - 15 minutes. Then the film: - "Sexual intercourse" - for 30 minutes, with all the details.
After the film, our professor exploded: - “What are you doing? These are children of 10-11 years old !!! " And he received the answer: - "The professor does not understand … the professor does not understand … Better we teach girls everything at 10 years old than they will have abortions at 14 years old."
And in Berlin (in those years) it was considered common that children at the age of 13-14 entered into intimate relationships. And one of the parents gave them a room for this. With furniture, dishes, etc.
And they lived as a small family, went to school, prepared lessons together, cooked something for themselves to eat. And in the evening they made love. If life together did not work out, then they diverged. And none of the families had any complaints.
They got married much later [1]. When the guy was getting higher education, he had a good job, an apartment with furniture. The woman, as a rule, brought a car to the family. Both were already adults, experienced in intimate life, and were responsible for raising their future children. There were almost no divorces and abandonment of children in Germany.
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But I think that shifting the "sex education" of children to the school will not be entirely correct. Parents should take the lead in this process.
Once, at one of the festive feasts, a man I did not know, sitting at the table, told a frank case about his son:
- The son is 17 and a half. He has his first love. He wants to get married urgently.
The family is in shock … She is 22 years old, and if you look at her carefully, you can read on her forehead what she is like … The only thing that saves is age. No registrar did not accept documents from his son at this age for registration.
Summer. The man procured two places in the local committee in a summer house on the Black Sea coast. And he wants to take his son to the sea. He rests: - "I will not go anywhere without my Ninochka!" And she works …
The man persuades: - “Let's get settled there. Write to Ninochka, and she will come to you on Saturday and Sunday to swim in the sea."
With difficulty managed to persuade.
Have arrived. Accommodated. And the son is dissatisfied with everything: - “The house is a wreck; the dining room is disgusting; forest stands are not green; the sky is not blue; the sea is not wet … That's it … Tomorrow I'm leaving for Ninochka!"
In the evening, dances were arranged at the recreation center. The son sits sullenly and does not want to go anywhere.
The man asks: - Be a friend … I really love to dance. And if I come to the dance floor alone, all the staff will discuss me critically. And if with you - then everything seems to be correct, I came with my son.
Persuaded. Both came to the dance. The son again doesn't like everything: the music is outdated; dance floor curve; soviet audience …
The man looked around and looked at a flock of cheerful girls. He came up and asked: - "Who is the most furry among you?"
- "Oh … the most furry of us Marinka."
- "Marina, can I have you for one minute?" They went aside.
- "Could you fool my son?"
- "Where is he standing?" - the girl is interested.
- "And there he is leaning on the post with a displeased muzzle …".
- "Hmm … it will do …" - the girl muttered.
She invites her son to the next dance herself. Another dance is dancing. And one more. The dancing is over …
The son comes up to his father and asks: "Dad, can I take the girl home?" He returned to the house no earlier than four in the morning …
He spends the next day with Marina. One more day with her again. Marina is leaving (vacation is over). And she hands it over to Natasha …
The next day the son is with Natasha. And the following days with Natasha. They swim, sunbathe, grill kebabs, go to dances. The son is tanned, happy.
A week passes …
And in a man's soul, cats begin to scratch. They don't even remember about Ninochka. - "Listen …" - says the father. - "You should at least write a letter to Ninochka."
The son, in a strange way (a little haughtily), looked at his father, and said: - "Dad … Ninochka is already a passed stage."
I have remembered this conversation for the rest of my life. And of course I admire the wisdom of such a man who helped his son to recognize the true value of all “this”. Moreover, without resorting to pressure and tedious lectures. That radically changed the life of this young man.
But I doubt that if I had a similar situation with my daughter, then would I really be looking for a bunch of funny guys and would ask to cheat my daughter.
Everything is much more complicated.
But parents should help their children. Help tactfully. Help wisely … And it is necessary, in general, to help them, to master this complex world.
I taught my son not to be afraid of water, then I taught him to swim, dive and hunt with an underwater gun. Handle matches, light a fire, and grill kebabs (from sausage). Drive a car (of course for children, on the amusement site). Play soccer and long jump in the stadium. When I got older, I bought a color music designer, and together with it I soldered and assembled a device that flashes to the rhythm of music, which he had long dreamed of.
And it was quite natural that his son had to tell me about "this" too.
Frank conversation with my son about "this"
It began when he was only six years old, and we, walking around Krasnodar, passed the registry office and the maternity hospital. That day I talked about the wedding and the solemn registration. And then he brought me to the wall of the maternity hospital and showed where I climbed over the fence, and where my mother showed it to me for the first time. He frankly said that at first I did not like him. Since he was red, wrinkled and made faces at his father.
And the main conversation took place at about 15 years old. Having lived a long life, I, just like the Germans, think that the age of 10 would be better suited for this conversation. At the age of 14, adolescents begin to antagonize.
I already wrote that after my reply about "sexual illiteracy" fell through, my son with some mockery said: "Come on, father, give me a lecture about sex." I immediately began to talk about women's cycles, about the fact that in the first and last days of these cycles …
The son suddenly became serious and interrupted me: “Stop! … . I ran, brought a notebook, a fountain pen and began to take notes on what I was saying.
Tell me, what could I tell him if he took notes for almost an hour? - All!!! It turned out that at this age they (adolescents) do not know anything worthwhile "about it". And they receive their primitive information among the same peers in the gateway. And a frank, adult conversation between a parent and his child (father with son; mother with daughter) can prevent many subsequent mistakes in life [4, 5].
And the wisdom of the parent will help the child to look at many things in a new way.
PS And I would also ask our Russian cinema to release a series of interesting feature films that would teach our young people how to take care of girls correctly (with all the details), how to properly organize a first intimate date, how to protect themselves …
And the most important thing is to do everything beautifully.
Literature
Babkin S. Sex education lessons in Germany. URL:
What sex education looks like in the US, Norway, the Netherlands, India and Russia. URL: https://portalramn.ru/health/kak-vyglyadit-polovoe …
Sivova Daria Sex in Practice: Sexuality Education in Europe. URL:
Tomilin Konstantin Age stages of personality development // Alternative view. - 2019. URL:
Tomilin Konstantin Crises in life // Alternative view. - 2019. URL: https://salik.biz/articles/54242-krizisy-v-zhizni ….
Author: Konstantin Tomilin
