By calculation, we usually mean commercialism and condemn this approach to love relationships. But it turns out that the calculation can be psychological. If we want to live a long and joyful life with a partner, it makes sense to listen to the observations of psychologists. What conclusion did they come to after examining many happy couples?
Scientists have figured out a strange pattern. Without love, of course, nowhere, but after all, the "pink period" passes, and it is followed by a period of grinding - many couples at this time "go out of the race", because they initially did not experience anything but physical attraction and enthusiasm. What can cement the relationship between a man and a woman? Psychologists advised: look for similarities. Opposites, of course, attract, but then repel.
It turned out that there are some parameters on which the couple must coincide, then she will have a chance to live happily ever after. These are the parameters.
1. The same degree of external attractiveness. The tale of the beauty and the beast is life-giving. Indeed, for many ugly men, all women are beautiful. How does a woman feel in such a pair? She is often confident that she has presented herself to a partner. Meanwhile, a man is driven by the desire to assert himself, and a beautiful woman is one of the ways. If partners have the same external attractiveness, they feel equal and do not assert themselves at the expense of each other.
2. Identical education. After the period of falling in love, you may regretfully find that there is nothing to talk to your partner about. One knows a lot and dreams of a large library, the other has not read a single book in his entire life. Is it interesting to such different people together? Not. And it's not about diplomas. You can develop on your own without studying at the institute (although higher education promotes a person to a fairly high level), read a lot, be interested in various things, have an interesting hobby. The level of development of a man and a woman should be the same, then they will not have to blush.
3. Identical social background. Girls all over the world adore the fairy tale about Cinderella, where a dirty little dowry suddenly became the prince's beloved. However, the tale does not say how Cinderella and the prince lived further. Perhaps the prince not only saw the kindness of Cinderella, but also noticed her lack of proper manners. Belonging to a certain social stratum forms our habits, worldview, behavior. If a man and a woman come from the same social stratum, it will be easy for them to communicate with each other. She will spit on the floor, and he will wipe his hands on the curtain - everyone is fine. And if one was brought up in a simple family, and the other in a professor's? Then one will start to get annoyed, make comments that will lead to quarrels.
4. Identical eating habits. It would seem, what does food have to do with it when it comes to love? However, it turned out that different tastes can disconnect. For example, if a woman is a convinced vegetarian, and a man loves meat, their refrigerators should be different, and it is not easy to cook for each separately. How nice it is for two to eat a delicious dish. How hard it is to cook each his own. And if one starts to convince the other that he is not eating properly? Then scandals, insults, quarrels are possible. A meal together should bring you closer, not separate.
5. Identical religious beliefs. This is very important because faith is a subtle matter. Of course, there are families where Orthodox Easter, Passover, Eid al-Adha and Christmas are celebrated. The problem can arise when one is fasting and the other is not. You need to respect your partner so as not to joke about his faith. And if people are very religious? Then problems are inevitable. Even at the stage of meetings, one must understand that religious differences can lead to mutual irritation. Different beliefs are potential conflicts.
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6. Attitude towards animals. Note, not to children. Because we love our children, but in sympathy for animals we can part ways. For example, dogs have always lived in my husband's family, and he is already used to it. And the wife loves cats. It's good if they get both a dog and a cat, but if one of them is allergic to wool? Then the second will suffer. And if a woman hates dogs or is afraid of them, what then? Animals are our outlet, which is why it is important to coincide in this parameter. One couple divorced because the Rottweiler loved only the owner and growled at other family members. The owner could not give the dog back, the family broke up. The problem can come suddenly. Two of them met. He has a cat, she has a dog. It's time to move in. Who will sacrifice their animals and feel like a traitor?
7. General political views. It is very important that the husband and wife "cheer" for the same. Sometimes we get so involved in politics that we get into a rage and inadvertently can offend the other half, who hold different views. And during the elections, heated arguments in the family are guaranteed. Or, for example, one goes to rallies with a banner, while the other watches TV shows or does a manicure in the salon. What will they talk about at dinner tonight?
8. Attitude towards pornography. At first glance, this point seems absurd. And yet it is important because “men love with their eyes”, they are interested in the visuals: magazines, video recordings. Some wives are jealous of their husbands for pictures of naked divas. You should take it calmly. But after all, not everyone can withstand the competition with magazine beauties …
Author: Olga Voronova