How often do we have to struggle with ourselves! With temptation, with emotions, with laziness … Sometimes it seems that the whole life consists of this struggle, and often the victory is given with great difficulty.
1. Treat yourself well
Avoid the temptation to scold yourself for mistakes and procrastination. Do not throw thunder and lightning on your head for disrupting planned affairs or for showing weakness. Treat yourself with sympathy and goodbye to flaws, even when it’s not easy. By forgiving yourself, you prevent your brain from embarking on the slippery slope of moral indulgence, which leads to further breakdowns and increased procrastination.
The term "moral indulgence" was coined by Stanford professor Kelly McGonigal. She conducted a number of studies, as a result of which it turned out that our brains are especially susceptible to temptations under the load of guilt. The fact is that the brain is designed to protect not only the health of its owner, but also his mood. While you are guilty, cursing yourself for laziness and weakness, while choosing the harshest and harshest words in your address, trying to strengthen your motivation, your brain is desperately looking for ways to cheer you up. And the most pleasant thing, of course, will seem to be what you are trying to avoid.
"Come on, you have already eaten a piece of cake, the diet has been disrupted, eat up the rest, a weak-willed nonentity!" or “Missed the deadline again? Give up this business, you are still incapable of such work, lazy procrastinator! And to hell with him! I'll go through the selection of cats and go to bed! " These are graphic illustrations of how moral indulgence works. Treat yourself well, forgive weaknesses, celebrate successes, and don't get stuck in an endless circle of guilt and comforting indulgences.
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2. The freebie trap
In boutiques, beauty salons, car dealerships, restaurants and other places where money is actively spent, a very common trap can lie in wait for you: free services or small gifts.
For example, a cup of tea while you wait for your turn for a haircut from the master. Candy in a transparent vase at the store checkout. A compliment from the chef while the order is being prepared. This is how the institution forms your so-called "loyalty" to yourself and your brand.
Tip: don't take anything for free if you don't want to spend extra money.
Scientific explanation
Man is a social animal that needs close interaction with other members of his species. The mechanism of this interaction has been perfected over millions of years and is firmly “wired up” in your brain. And one of its components is the desire to be sure to "give away" in response to a gift. Or respond with a service to a service.
Although you are not aware of your "duty", your brain regards the unexpected freebie as a duty, and makes you feel obligated. Our ancient brain regards a gift in the same way as it did millions of years ago, when human society was no different from a population of monkeys - as an invitation to cooperation.
Willy-nilly, you have to give up this unconscious "debt": spontaneous purchases, a calm attitude towards an overpriced, brand recommendation to friends, etc. One cup of free coffee offered - and now you are already in the "freebie trap".
Marketers and business people know all this well, so if you do not want to be manipulated, remember the rule: never take anything for free - in our world there is no free.
3. Read a little
Advice for those who love to read, but he never has time. If you can't bring yourself to start reading books, or, more often, you start but quit before reaching the end, try an old and very effective technique: set yourself the number of pages you will read per day, and let this number be small. Let's say 10 pages, but daily.
Scientific explanation
This hitch, which annoys intelligent but busy people, is provoked by the paralysis of analysis. Between you and interesting books is the fear of the brain - the fear of the amount of work ahead. You may not even be aware of this, but the brain does not welcome long-term projects: a lot of energy is wasted on them. You will endlessly say to yourself "tomorrow" … or decide to read a little bit. 10 pages will not scare your brain: it’s not long, it’s not long, and reading doesn’t have time to tire you.
The book usually contains 200-300 pages, which means that you will read one book, on average, a month. 12 books a year isn't too many, but that's 12 more books than nothing, right? In addition, you only need to persuade yourself to pick up the book and start reading: then you will get involved and read, of course, more: as much as you want. But if not, then no, read at least a dozen pages and praise yourself for consistency and thirst for knowledge.
4. Train in your mind
Visualize the skills you want to learn. Whatever you do, whatever goals you plan to achieve - take time during the day and before bed for the practice of visualization: imagine what you want in detail. Only not a thing that I would like to have, but a skill, skill, situation.
Scientific explanation
Visualization is a concept that is known both to specialists in the field of brain work and to a wide range of people. The ability of the human brain to learn is so great that even a simple representation of the desired actions makes it "turn on" activity in those zones that are responsible for these actions performed in reality. This applies to any action, even heavy physical activity: when you imagine that, for example, lifting a barbell, blood rushes to the required muscles: the brain prepares them for the load. Of course, imagination alone will not build muscle, but visualization can shorten your path to a dream and strengthen motivation.
However, this brainhack works only when you visualize your own actions, and not their result: for example, visualizing a new beautiful car can only warm your soul, and, say, visualizing actions to make money for this car will help put your thoughts in order. and set yourself a number of clear tasks.
5. Don't chat after the gym
Exercise or extreme situations make you more talkative than usual. While chatting during fitness, the easiest way is to accidentally blurt out a secret, especially if a friend is working with you.
So, if you are afraid to say too much, do not share information too actively after you have done a good barbell work.
Scientific explanation
Exercise and extreme situations trigger a fight-or-flight response in the body: increased heart rate, faster breathing for better oxygen supply to muscles, blood flow to the limbs, and other similar physiological activity of the body. The brain reacts to this state as a threat of danger and mobilizes all forces in order to escape from it or to fight back.
And in particular, it increases the craving for communication with other members of its species.
The mechanism of this connection is not fully understood, but Yona Berger, a professor at the Wharton School of Business, has convincingly proved its existence in a series of experiments. It can be assumed that increased talkativeness in case of danger saved the lives of our ancestors, forcing people to share information about the threat and the experience of overcoming it. Be that as it may - keep in mind: physical activity makes you a godsend for a spy (for about half an hour).
6. Postpone charades
Put aside puzzles, charades and other games and toys that "develop mindfulness, speed of thinking and depth of knowledge." Mind games don't work, so don't waste your time on them. If you want to take care of the future of your brain, about its functioning in old age, do sports, since physical activity is the only proven way to prevent cognitive abilities.
Scientific explanation
Let's give the floor to an expert in the field of attention, Harvard professor, Jeremy Wolff: “In the United States, video games and applications are often advertised recently, which supposedly help to increase your cognitive capabilities and improve attention functions. Many game creators promise that you won't lose memory as you age. However, much of the evidence suggests that the more you play these video games or do Sudoku, the better you will hone your skills in that particular activity alone.
If, instead of driving a couple of blocks by car, you go for a walk (without any mental stress), it will benefit you much more. All of this is mainly related to blood circulation. For example, my mom is over 80 years old and is getting old. Will she lose her mental faculties completely? If she wants to invest in something, then I would advise her to spend it on the gym rather than on some puzzle toys."
7. Analysis paralysis
If you have a difficult task to do that you don't know how to approach, break the task down into many subtasks. Moreover, the smaller these subtasks are, the better.
For example, you need to write an important document. The first point might be: sit down at the table. Second: turn on the computer. Third: open a text editor. Fourth: make up the first two sentences.
It is best to write these points down, put the list in front of your eyes, and follow through with the steps. You will not notice how you get involved in the process and the job will be done.
Scientific explanation
Analysis paralysis (information overload) is a state when too long and multifaceted thinking about a task leads to the fact that working memory "turns off", taking with it that region of the brain that is responsible for willpower - the prefrontal cortex. You may even experience suffocation as a physical symptom of the onset of analysis paralysis.
There is a known way to deceive the brain: try to completely stop thinking about your difficult task as a matter of fact, and look at it exclusively as a sequence of small tasks that do not frighten the working memory, each of which will be processed sequentially.
8. Put in place
Want to save more, but love to shop? Take a walk, look at the windows, but do not touch anything, and even more so, do not pick it up. Once again: don't touch the products, no matter how interesting and attractive they seem. This will allow you to refrain from spontaneous purchases without any problems.
Scientific explanation
Dopamine enters the scene - a hormone that is still here and there (for example, in Wikipedia) called the "pleasure hormone". In fact, dopamine is a hormone of desire, not pleasure: it makes you want, but does not bring feelings of satisfaction. Dopamine acts like a carrot fixed in front of the donkey's nose: it makes it endlessly move after desires, but all the time it pushes the reward. You may have noticed that the anticipation of buying a thing that you have wanted for a long time always gives more positive emotions than the subsequent pleasure of owning this thing.
Your dopaminergic neurons start working as soon as something interesting and attractive comes across to your eyes, but they work a hundred times more efficiently when the desired becomes tangible - in the literal sense. Blood rushes to your face, your heart begins to pound harder (dopamine is the biochemical precursor of adrenaline) - and without noticing it, you are already putting some unnecessary nonsense into the basket. Put your hands deep in your pockets and stare at the goods - but nothing more.
9. Close the plate
Focus on the feeling of hunger: do not sit down at the table until you are hungry, and get up from the table as soon as you are full, even if there is still food in the plate. If you are dining in company and you do not have the opportunity to immediately finish the meal, close the plate as soon as you feel full, for example, with another plate or napkin. As a last resort, just move your plate out of sight. This simple trick will help you avoid overeating.
Scientific explanation
Any conscious volitional effort, in this case, to stop eating when a feeling of satiety is achieved, is made by the prefrontal cortex, your center of self-control. During the day, you make many decisions and make hundreds of small choices - what to wear, which route to get to work, what to buy for dinner, etc. - which gradually depletes the resource of the prefrontal cortex, tires it, and your will weakens.
Help yourself: By removing food from your field of vision, you stop the production of dopamine, the hormone that makes a person want, that is, take actions in search of a reward. Your brain perceives food as a reward, but only when you see and smell it. When you are full, the smell of food no longer seems so attractive to your brain, but your eyes continue to transmit information about the “tasty” directly to your dopaminergic neurons, and this process takes place in addition to your consciousness (and desire).
Instead of exerting willpower, deliberately keeping yourself from "eating" and overeating, just hide food out of sight and stop the production of dopamine. You will feel better in a matter of minutes.
10. Dim the lights
An hour and a half before bedtime, dim the lights in all rooms. Arrange in the bathroom the ability to switch from an overhead bright light to a soft and dim one (for example, put a table lamp there). This incredibly simple trick will help you fall asleep and improve the quality of your sleep.
Scientific explanation
It is difficult to overestimate the importance of sleep for various body systems. During sleep, hormones are produced that heal the affected tissue, promote the growth and strengthening of muscle mass, as well as the partial destruction of fat reserves. If you stick to a diet, you lose weight most intensively in a dream. If you go in for sports, muscle tissue is restored and strengthened in a dream. If you are a child or teenager, you grow in a dream.
And without exception, all people in a dream structure and archive the information received during the day, process memories, “grow” the synapses necessary for the development of the brain - connections between the neurons of the brain.
We humans lead a daytime lifestyle, so the brain reacts to light as if it were day, and to darkness as if it were night. By dimming the light, you give information - it's dusk and it's time to get ready for bed. In response, the brain sends a signal to produce the hormone melatonin, a regulator of circadian rhythms. Melatonin, in turn, sends a signal throughout your body to start preparing for sleep: metabolism slows down, since you no longer need to get energy for active actions, mental processes also go into "sleep mode". An hour and a half is enough to get your body ready for sleep.
The bathroom, where you spend some time just before bed, doing hygiene procedures, should also be dimly lit. There's nothing worse than being in bright light just before bed, says circadian neurologist Russell Foster, whose TED video you can watch below.