What is betrayal? Do all of us correctly interpret this concept and action? Of course, not all! Of course, there are those who mean by betrayal everything that offended them a little, hurt them. But there is also an objective moment of misunderstanding - betrayal is really a rather vague, abstract, relative concept and action.
And how to forgive betrayal directly depends on what is understood in each particular case by betrayal. but in general, as one friend of mine once said - you can forgive everything, absolutely everything, if you want. The last phrase will make a lot of sense for someone, but for whom it will not be at all.
So, let's try to figure out which is which.
“Betrayal is a violation of loyalty to someone or failure to fulfill a duty to someone.
Betrayal is severely condemned by most religions as a grave sin or violation of a taboo and condemned by the moral and ethical laws of society. Leaving a friend in trouble and treason are most often called betrayal. Betrayal may or may not pursue any benefit.
Often betrayal is also called adultery and apostasy (religious apostasy)."
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We will talk about the society that we are used to, in which we live. If we talk about the Tumba-Yubma tribe, a representative of this made three punctures on the lip instead of two and did not jump off a cliff into the sea as a sign of honor for the elders, and thus he was recognized as a traitor - this will be, to say the least, incomprehensible to our compatriots. But if about a taboo, and its violation and the fact that the violation of a taboo is somewhere considered a betrayal - this is just about the primitive society.
Despite the fact that Wikipedia refers to the condemnation of betrayal by many religions and calls it a grave sin - there is no commandment "do not betray"! Moreover, in the Bible there is no concept of betrayal and there is no emphasis on it. But. There are such commandments as do not commit adultery (which includes treason, divorce and marriage to others, fornication), do not covet what your neighbor has (neither home, nor wife, nor other), do not bear false witness against your neighbor, do not steal, do not kill, do not create an idol for yourself, honor God above all other images.
And the violation of these commandments is betrayal in the simple sense of the word, although the action itself is not clearly indicated in the Bible. But the question is: Whom does a person who violates these commandments betray? I do not know if he betrays God by violating the commandments, because if this is to be understood, then from the general betrayal of mankind, God would have either burned the earth for a long time or would not have left any commandments at all, knowing the false nature of man. But exactly who a person betrays is himself as the image and likeness of God and his neighbor.
But at the same time, the emphasis on betrayal is not yet made due to the fact that any sins of others, including betrayal in any sense of the word, must be forgiven from a Christian point of view.
And there is also an important point - Judas betrayed Christ with a kiss. That is, he came very close to his heart, became close and betrayed in the most vile way. We have seen a vivid example of what became of Judas.
For us, in today's world, betrayal is betrayal, "set up" from friends (here the gradations are different - from not borrowing for something to betrayal of a best friend with his wife and beyond), leaving the weak, the one who believes the traitor. About the latter, in my opinion, this is real betrayal: when children are abandoned, especially those who already know their parents, they are cruelly treated, etc. To abandon an animal (dog, cat) is also akin to betrayal, because very often these animals are attached to humans, and leaving them on the street leads to death.
Betrayal of loved ones, friends - of course, is also a pain, but we are all mostly adults, independent people, capable of surviving many troubles. And of all the betrayals, the only correct conclusion must be drawn - you only have you!
But when they abandon those who cannot stand up for themselves, those who are weaker, those who are helpless, it is very cruel, and this can only be done by a mean person, weak not by age, but by nature. In addition to children, there are old people, people who are seriously ill.
Deception on the part of loved ones is painful, insulting, but if you are healthy, full of strength, you can get up and live on, and if, for example, a person is dying, or has become disabled due to old age, illness and was abandoned when he was exhausted, this is a betrayal. In my life, I personally observed several cases when old people at the end of their lives lost their memory, did not think well, but remembered the house, missed their relatives, who silently registered them in boarding schools, mental hospitals and never visited them again, “rewrote” apartments for themselves. With an adequate life, these old people put their energy on children, family, loaded up with pickles with jam for grandchildren, nursed the offspring. This is what I understand betrayal…. and a guy cheated with a friend (probably for someone, betrayal) - this is nonsense, find a new friend, forget the guy, but perhaps at 16 not everyone understands this …
Or when the 7-10-year-old children of alcoholics, whom social services, custody remove from their families, again rush to their parents, come, rejoice, clean up everything in the house, and persuade mom and dad to stop drinking, believe in them and believe that they can live differently, and do not want other parents, because they love these, and the parents, as they “booze” and continue, beat these children, it is good if the children are taken away until they are seriously injured or killed. With such an injury, they grow unnecessary. This is a betrayal.
But today's young people, according to VKontakte statuses, consider everything from "being brought in emergency situations in social networks" to infinity as a betrayal. You can type in the search engine "a friend betrayed me in emergency situations." Due to discord in social networks, we are already killing each other, and often among young people, the whole world turns upside down if a guy in the photo with a new girl, and a friend removed from friends.
Both girls 12-14 years old and women over 30 with children understand the pain of losing a loved one, and everyone assures that they have been betrayed. Each case is different, someone is really a victim, and someone exaggerates the tragedy of the situation.
In general, betrayal, like mistakes, stones that any normal person should stumble over. Without getting a negative experience - sometimes it is impossible to evaluate and get a positive one. Pain, like even our first experience in this world - birth, pushes us to life very often. Naturally such that within the framework.
However, if a person does not gain positive experience, and with each betrayal he is more and more offended by the world, people, blames everyone around him for his troubles, then the negative begins to attract the negative, betrayal is found at every step. Of course, a person can be unfairly pursued by a series of failures and troubles, but if he himself does not break this vicious circle, no one will do it for him. The rescue of the drowning is the work of the drowning themselves.
Those who have been betrayed can live in the hope that the traitor will be punished by God, life … and believe that their offender lives in torment, remembering every vile deed.
“A soul that has committed a betrayal perceives any surprise as the beginning of retribution. - Fazil Iskander"
However, we often observe that life hesitates with revenge, and those who expect revenge are themselves insulted, spending their lives on negativity.
To avoid betrayal, you can do a number of preventive actions. Do not tell anyone a lot about your life, do not let anyone come close, do not fall in love, do not open up, do not make friends with everyone in a row, do not trust, do not check, follow every word, DO NOT BE FUNCTIONAL, so as not to get discouraged. The latter is the most effective, because we can’t not communicate with people, and we can’t be friends either, but we can train ourselves not to "fall in love" with everyone and everything, not expect too much from people, but accept everything in fact, not faint if the invented expectations are not met. Otherwise, you can live your whole life like a wise gudgeon from the tale of Saltykov-Shchedrin … and in the end you still be eaten.
Very often, betrayal is a kind of one-sided invented look, richly seasoned with resentment of the one who was betrayed. If we consider the situation as a whole, it may even turn out that for some it is a betrayal, for others it is wonderful deeds that led to happiness. An example from the video (under the article): the husband went to his friend; the wife is shocked, considers her husband and girlfriend as traitors, and the husband believes that he will make life easier for his wife, giving her freedom and ceasing to torment her life without love, and the girlfriend generally believes that she has love with her friend's husband. That's what betrayal for some, love for others.
During the war, for example, someone could, saving families and their children, migrate to other countries, cheat, deceive. For some, this is a betrayal, especially for the ardent defenders of the homeland, which once fought within itself, but for some it is the salvation of the most valuable thing in life - their loved ones … So the scope of betrayal is very subjective.
Betrayal in a social sense is very often associated with stereotypes and false attitudes of a given society:
“The overwhelming majority of the“Kremlin”are secretly taking actions that harm the common interests of the group (in fact, betrays others), while diligently imitating solidarity, up to participating in punishing the“apostates”. The stronger the unifying morality, the more severe the moral punishment in case of violation of the generally accepted norms of behavior in this group, simply - betrayal.
Ethnic groups and groups of religious fanatics are a good example. But not everything is so simple: a person can simultaneously belong to several groups (for example, related and professional), which may have different meanings for him. Struggle and agony of choice is a favorite plot in films or books about war, where a brother goes against a brother, putting convictions above family ties."
Scientists have conducted experiments on how the opinion of society is changing: even if the majority is obviously wrong (for example, for the sake of experience, they lie that the short line is longer), the minority begins to adjust to the opinion of the majority, this is conformity and fear of being an outcast.
And even if the choice to betray their loved ones or this very social morality (it all depends on the specific society), people more often chose the betrayal of loved ones for the benefit of relations with society.
For example (during the war): people went to fight even if they were shot by enemies the next day, the one who did not go is the enemy of the people, and the one who did not betray the one who did not want to fight is the enemy of the people. Accordingly, many had to betray loved ones, betraying them and at the same time seeing them off to certain death …
Also, betrayal is often committed by people from mercantile interests: for example, a rich person is ashamed to be friends with a poor person, and even if the friendship was sincere, the rich is likely to choose something that does not defame his reputation - in his opinion. Equally, men can "change" annoying old wives for young ones, since with the latter it is more presentable to appear in public places and receive the respect of status colleagues - again in the eyes of traitors.
But still, I will return to the fact that the concept of betrayal is very relative, and while someone is crying that he was denied friendship by the rich, someone remains on the street in a helpless state.
I believe that real betrayal is the situations described in the article when children, helpless people, animals and the like are abandoned. Everything else can be experienced.