The social institution of matchmakers has long disappeared from our life, and once the representatives of this specific profession were simultaneously analysts, psychologists, and promoters, and they also kept a real database of potential brides and grooms in their heads.
Back in the early 20th century, most marriages were initiated by parents. The union was often negotiated almost immediately after the birth of the future husband and wife. Living conditions gradually changed, the attitude towards marriage changed, the number of factors that must be taken into account grew, and therefore the approaches to finding partners also changed.
Balls and "fairs"
It is believed that matchmakers began to appear in the 15th century, although most experts associate this profession with the 19th century, namely with the growth of cities. The fact is that the peasant had much more opportunities to find his betrothed. Even in the "Tale of Bygone Years" there is a mention of the custom - "to my wife's wife by the water." The term “near the water” meant the bank of a river, an ice hole or a village well, that is, places where girls regularly came on the water and where young men could establish contacts with potential brides. In addition to the wells, the grooms had common field work, village holidays with round dances and evening gatherings on the embankments.
A city dweller, with his daily employment, not depending on the season, did not have the opportunity to joke with the girls at the ice hole. This is where the need for matchmakers arose.
The main consumer of the services of a classic matchmaker has become the middle class: merchants, petty officials, burghers. Mass bride brides were called "fairs" or, as the common people said, "yarmankas".
For the aristocracy, the role of "yarmans" was played by balls and receptions. It was there that young people were introduced to each other and had the opportunity to communicate. If things went well, then a respected relative or family friend could act as a matchmaker, although, in fact, they were only enthusiastic amateurs. But the middle class already needed the services of professional matchmakers. These savvy and lively women knew how to create marriages.
Promotional video:
Russian families, distinguished by their piety, usually adhered to strict rules, so matchmakers often arranged meetings for future relatives at church services. In addition to churches, resourceful matchmakers organized bride shows in gardens and parks, during summer festivities, and even in the Tretyakov Picture Gallery.
As a first approximation, the matchmaker's task was to select suitable options. It sounds simple, but in reality it was by no means an easy one. It was required to combine a lot of parameters: to make a pair that was suitable in terms of makeup and position, to take into account the material desires and capabilities of the parties, and for this the matchmaker had to operate a whole file of grooms and brides. In addition to being informed and the ability to perform analysis, a good matchmaker needed a remarkable negotiating talent to convince, praise, and if necessary, even embellish.
In an extended version, the work of the matchmaker included negotiations with the relatives of the likely spouses on financial issues, but directly in the process of matchmaking and the wedding itself, as a rule, “ritual” matchmakers, someone from the groom's relatives, participated.
In clothes, matchmakers-pros preferred flashiness: smart sundresses, bright scarves and kitschiks, they took a lot for their services, but they also worked out the fee by 100 percent. Matchmakers were generally considered respected members of society. Getting a matchmaker for breakfast, lunch or dinner in a family where there was a potential bride was considered a reason for pride. As an additional gift from grateful clients, the marriage planners often received an expensive shawl. A set of such shawls eventually became something of a portfolio.
Harems and horoscopes
Matchmakers were also in demand in the Muslim East. The religious characteristics of the region gave their work a very specific flavor. Very often, these women visited the baths, where they looked after the young beauties, in order to then one-on-one describe to the customer all the charms of a candidate for matchmaking. It turned out that a rich Muslim, who did not have the opportunity to look under the veil before the wedding, often fell in love with the object of his sexual desires solely according to the descriptions of the matchmaker.
In ancient China, notes of mysticism were mixed in the work of matchmakers and matchmakers. After all, when choosing pairs, it was necessary to check with horoscopes. The greatest importance was attached to the signs of the 12-year animal cycle. The combination of compatible signs made the marriage happy, the combination of incompatible signs made the marriage unhappy. Cycles of the five world elements were also taken into account: wood, fire, earth, metal, water. It happened that the dates of birth of the bride and groom were specially falsified in order to make the marriage possible.
Love comes and goes …
The work of matchmakers was highly rated in Europe as well. This profession was valued both from the state and from the church point of view. Those in power tried to take over the work of the “messengers of Hymen” and direct it in the right direction. Matchmakers were considered specialists not so much in matters of the heart as coordinators of the merger of capitals and masters of giving capital owners a "title" gloss. Marriages entered into helped some to save themselves from ruin, others - to increase their capital, and still others - to add a family title to the money. Matchmakers and pimps had free access to any wealthy home, including the royal chambers.
The creators of marriage ties spread rumors and gossip around the cities no worse than the yellow press. Europeans sought to get knowledgeable specialists for lunch and dinner not even for the sake of prestige, but for the sake of insider information. A quarrel with a mighty "dummy" threatened with such troubles that sometimes it was easier to move to another city.
In medieval Europe, there were two types of matchmakers. The task of the first type consisted in bringing together the families of the future spouses, then the second type came into play, whose duties included negotiations on the amount of the dowry and on the conditions for keeping the bride. The latter was considered very important, especially when drafting wills. Both families often hired matchmakers to protect their interests. There are cases when negotiations dragged on for many years. The bargaining of two families from Florence, Peruzzi and Adimari, lasted for over six years. As a result, Signorina Adimari married much later than her relatives expected, and then died during the birth of her first child. It turned out that the family life of the unfortunate girl lasted six times less than the negotiations for her marriage.
The experience of the European matchmaker directly affected the amount of the requested fee. It happened that the pimps made considerable fortunes. Commoners simply could not afford their services, and unsuccessful merchants and aristocrats who tried to improve matters at the expense of marriage often ran into even greater debts, trying to pay the famous matchmaker.
About the times! About morals
Years passed, the way of life changed, and the sphere of marriage services also changed. On September 29, 1650, Henry Robinson opened the world's first marriage agency in London. The first client of Robinson was a certain John Daimley, who put forward the following requirement for his chosen one: “A lady must have a fortune of 300 guineas. It doesn't matter if she is a virgin, widow, or pregnant by her ex-husband.”
Gradually, agencies helping to find partners spread throughout the world, in addition, printed marriage announcements appeared, and then special marriage publications. Russia was no exception. In Moscow, "Bracnaya Gazeta" was published, in Tomsk - "Siberian Marriage Newspaper", in Kerch - "The Marriage Question". There were "Odessa marriage leaflet", "Kievskaya marriage", "Caucasian marriage" and dozens of other newspapers, so popular that more than half a million copies were published.
Typically, these print media published announcements for men, but they did occur among correspondence and notes from women.
In the age of the Internet, the clever Fyokla Ivanovna, who know how to combine a "merchant" with a "product", have long become a relic, are gradually losing the position of a newspaper of marriage announcements, but Japanese programmers offer the user a robot matchmaker. It is enough to enter your data into a computer, and they will be sent to your potential partners. And not just any. The machine will not only disseminate the request, it will scan your metric parameters, analyze your personal data and create your psychological profile. After, according to these data, he will select the ideal candidates for dating, marriage or marriage, and only then send your marriage proposal to their addresses. Such is the date in a convenient digital mode. It remains only to wonder why in our advanced world the number of digital services is growing and at the same time the number of happy marriages tends to zero.
Magazine: Mysteries of History №22. Victor Stern