A friend of mine collects ball-jointed dolls. For those who are not in the know, I will explain that the cost of one copy can go off scale all conceivable and inconceivable limits. For the sake of accuracy, I will add that these adorable figures are disgustingly similar to real people. Especially if you photograph them correctly. They have beautiful hand-painted faces, bespoke clothing, natural hair wigs, etc.
If you take off the clothes from the doll, it becomes less “human” and attractive: the articulated body immediately betrays its artificial origin. But, if you do not know that in front of you in the photo is not a real model, but a plastic dummy, the spectacle is truly bewitching.
Alas, I cannot understand her expensive hobby. I do not understand dolls, and have been afraid since childhood. From an early age I prefer cars, construction sets, puzzles and other boyish toys to dolls in caps. The dolls cause in me a sacred and superstitious awe, before which I still cannot control.
I look at the photographs of my acquaintance with her "pets" with hidden horror: they are alive!
And imagine that she has a whole glass showcase of these creatures at home, generated by human imagination and painstaking skill of artisans from the Middle Kingdom! I couldn't stand it for a long time in such a room! And for every beauty she has her own place, favorite clothes; she walks with them, brings them out into the light, introduces them to the same ladies who live with friends.
No, I don’t think that she didn’t play enough with dolls as a child, or thus implements the maternal instinct. Similar statements are nonsense in vegetable oil: everyone has the right to have personal cockroaches in their heads, and the presence or absence of children does not matter. Another thing scares me - how she is not afraid of them, they are people! The most real people, each with their own character, they change their facial expressions depending on the lighting, the angle from which you look at them. They come to life as night falls, I'm just sure of that.
But my friend only laughs at my fears, she thinks that my insects in my head are much more dangerous: well, judge for yourself, what a normal person would be afraid of dolls! When she brought one of the "girls" to work, everyone looked at her with delight. And I, too, but I was even scared to touch the fragile little body. It seemed to me that one movement and the doll would grab the hand, look into the eyes and stretch its plastic lips in a real smile.
Dolls have a soul. And do you know when she possesses them? As soon as the master draws the face: draws the line of the eyebrows, outlines the lips. But the most important thing is the eyes. As soon as the doll opens them up towards the light, the Spirit enters it.
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It is no coincidence that the children of our ancestors played with homemade dolls that had no faces! The eyes are the notorious "mirror of the soul", this is what the Spirit needs to penetrate into the cold lifeless body. Is it so dead? If there is a Soul in it, it can move, I am sure of that.
The most interesting thing is that toy animals do not cause such fear in me. On the contrary, I gladly picked up plush dogs and cats. I asked them to buy them for parents in the famous Detsky Mir on Lubyanka. I remember when I was a child I had my beloved Bear. It was an amazing animal, warm, soft and alive. I sincerely believed that he brings me a chocolate bar every morning. And, although, once the grandmother admitted that it was she who put candy in Mishka's paws, the little girl continued to believe that the fabulous animal himself followed her to the bakery.
As a child, it seemed to me that the furry bodies of toy animals contained the soul of recently deceased cats or dogs. I sincerely believed that they were a temporary haven for them on their way to another living being.
I hated the dolls that were given to me: I mercilessly tore off my arms and legs. But first, she disfigured her face with felt-tip pens. It seemed to the silly little girl that in this way she gains power over the soul of the doll. Yes, imagine how many juicy cuffs she received from her parents: in those distant times it was both expensive and impossible to buy a decent doll.
I still remember my tantrum over a unique "walking" battery-powered doll at that time! Kind relatives, knowing full well about my phobia, presented a luxurious doll made in the then GDR for the fifth anniversary. Oh, this doll: to a shiver, the real face of a blond girl made an indelible impression on the birthday girl. And when a button was pressed on her under the dress, Sonechka (as it said on the tag), blinked her eyes and went.
Caring loved ones were very offended when the hero of the occasion rushed out of the room with a wild cry. The mother became even more angry when the next day she discovered that an expensive gift was hopelessly spoiled by a ruthless daughter.
The doll was solemnly locked in a closet. For many years it lay on the shelf, wrapped in a gift box.
A few decades later, as an adult woman, I was dismantling the rubble that I inherited from my grandmother and mother. A forgotten box was found in the far corner of the closet, which I opened rashly. A dead doll with a face stained with a felt-tip pen and an unnaturally twisted body lay at the bottom.
The forgotten day of fear vividly came to mind. So that's where my dislike for dolls comes from! Here it is - the cause of fear and sacred awe in front of these animate beings. No, I thought, I am an adult and I control emotions. But how could I forget about her, apparently at some point a merciful memory blocked this area of memories.
I quickly slammed the makeshift coffin shut so as not to see this horror again. Without thinking twice, I packed the box in a bag and solemnly took it to the trash heap.
No, I haven't stopped being afraid of dolls from that day on. I still have doubts about my friend's collection, but I still love teddy bears and dogs. Maybe because the spirit of the animal is unlikely to harm. But the Spirit of a person living in every doll will surely burst out one day. After all, each doll dreams of taking the place of the owner sooner or later. I don't just believe in it, I know it!