The other day, public restrooms flashed before my eyes. No, not that I was looking for them, or that I suddenly weakened my bladder and settled down next to the most worthy one.
Ancient Rome is again to blame for everything. Having accidentally seen a picture of what we call the Ancient Roman public toilet, I remembered that they always seemed to me not very adapted, just for the needs.
So my questions are for public latrines two thousand years ago. And yes, this is a burning issue that bypasses all the political news of the modern world in importance, and requires immediate disclosure.
I don't understand why they have such a small hole for the glasses. Here, with a question of small need, sometimes you lose your integrity, but if you have to keep an eye on it and not to miss from the bottom?
Judging by the second hole, which should fit freely and not distract from the main thing, what prevents the dancer from taking the grand prix at the ball, the design is man's or unisex. By the way, sometimes this hole in "Roman toilets" is larger than the sciatic hole. I'm not sure the Romans carried this with them in a wheelbarrow.
So this is a men's toilet? Where are the women then?
Okay, we remember from fairy tales that princesses don't poop. This apparently was known to the ancient Romans. The question was removed due to the impossibility of fighting magic.
So they built purely male toilets.
Promotional video:
Please remember what distinguishes a man from a woman in the restroom? That's right, this is the ability to empty while standing and quickly, without expanding to the full extent of the latrine.
Women are so jealous of this ability that out of hopelessness they are trying to adapt a drainage system with similar properties.
Looks very stupid, but perhaps convenient.
And so, you want to say that the male Roman population itself, in the order of labor discipline, abandoned this skill and sat with all the "conveniences" on a pigeon's hole?
This is incredible, but there is no other option, because to get into this, if I may say so, the neck, while standing in armor, is possible only with the artificial removal of waste products, from the side through a catheter. An ordinary man pisses everything around.
Let's take the first European we come across. Here he stands without embarrassment. Note worth it!
We put it in this, if I may say so, toilet. It is immediately evident that the person is confused. After a wide, comfortable urinal on the streets of Europe, he is uncomfortable.
Now let's imagine there were three of them. It got even harder. The two are already practically rubbing against each other, due to the close fit of the holes and the unstable sight of the excretory organ.
And then the cleaning lady came in (she had to wash at 10-45, she didn't give a damn about the rest). The place became very small, and the goal did not expand. The room for maneuver has disappeared, but the cleaning lady tries to push you and you still have to jump. As you can see, even three intelligent, neat Europeans, with the TRP badge in accuracy, are already on the verge. And here comes the terrible …
Bashful man! You know those who are on the walls and on the floor, and only that is not on the ceiling. All the Roman toilet breaks down and is no longer able to perform its functions. At the same time, half is also in the waste of a foreign organism.
This is rare, but if it happens in an ancient Roman toilet, even the cleaning lady will suffer.
As you can see, usability failed. Maybe I'm coming from the wrong end? Maybe these are special toilets for those who ate shawarmas at the local Amphitheater?
Such a turn does not hold water at all. First, it is a dubious pleasure to be engaged in an intimate affair in front of strangers. Moreover, stroking directly into the balls of a person with constipation crawling out of orbits, on the contrary. Even animals, when executed, turn their backs and responsibly look away. The person is even more uncomfortable.
All of you, for sure, have seen men who are even ashamed to go to the clerk if there are at least a couple of people around. There is an unplowed field of urinals around, and the unfortunate people rush to every closed booth to secure a corner hidden from others. How to deal with them?
Yes, and in principle, a meeting of a crowd of crap men should create such miasma that are quite capable of becoming poisonous gases. They say the Romans collected urine. Maybe the boys with amphoras for air intake also ran to the toilets?
Well, and for sure, in every Roman toilet you saw those unfortunate corner two holes.
If everything is busy, and only these two points remain, then their owners will spend several mournful minutes in thought, portraying thinkers, and pretending not to notice how
Jokes, of course, jokes, but what the hell are the toilets? And in every city of the Roman Empire, from the capital, to the village in two streets! Or were they cultural centers for personal growth and testing for multicultural tolerance towards refugees conquered by the peoples?
Especially implausible is this sedentary system of use. Like "King on the throne." At all times, until the last urban times, and even now, for many too, the most used form was and is “Proud eagle roosting!
This is how the keepers of the Neanderthal traditions have been sitting for thousands of years.
Moreover, this posture is also the only healthy one for defication. Sitting on the throne, half of the population is constipated!
And as you can see, the Romans knew about it. A figurine of a man from fairy tales about a shit in a Mithra cap, specifically shows how to use the device correctly. Mithra was very popular in Rome, only a split second ahead of the Christians.
And in addition, this is also:
The Romans wiped themselves with sea sponges on sticks !!! Did every toilet come with a fresh morning sponge catcher? Or did every intelligent soldier have their own, domesticated, reusable?
In short, let the historians themselves go to public toilets, in general, and in ancient Roman in particular. I wish each of them to have a stick with a sea sponge in their pocket. And to sip a bit like a shit, how they love!
And I will make an assumption about the real purpose of these establishments. I didn’t come up with it, it was dropped by LJ blogger dmitry an in one of the comments about the ancient sortings, and I really liked it!
Without words:
This was the way they used, or they used other cutting objects, or maybe even mechanisms, it doesn't matter. The essence is important - butchering a human carcass for draining blood and subsequent consumption.
Judging by the number of seats, rams were slaughtered in large numbers.
Maybe there was even more crowd, like a queue. Today is an average day. So the butcher got bored.
Everything is lined up correctly, the blood flows inward or into the gutter. The head does not fall like mine, but is placed on the hole so as not to lose the product.
As for the severed heads, this is not a human tradition. This ritual was introduced either by someone from the outside, it was already invented by a person out of despair - it was necessary to determine where the people were and where the non-people were. Purely in everyday life, from execution through the head, one hassle. And the tool is necessary to fig, and then wash the floor of the city.
Who they were, giants or reptilians, I do not know, but from them in human culture there was a smack of cannibalism. For example, in Christianity, believers drink blood and eat the flesh of the heart.
And what do they do with him on the icons? And the cups are filled and licked and lightly pierced as the jet weakens.
That is, the skill of eating human flesh (mainly blood), people have adopted from someone. This is just an imitation of someone's housekeeping. If it were our own invention at the call of physiology, or even taste sensations, we would have gobbled each other up.
What's going on! You haven’t had time to cut yourself, but they are already running with basins and cans, so as not to spill in time!
Here all sorts of Indians made a live cocktail. Sucked. In Rome, the herds were richer - poured on an industrial scale through the "toilets" along the groove. Maybe even later to the factory. On the right, the Egyptians are not cutting, yet. But they make chop with sticks. Do you know the meaning of this word for cutlets? And on a living body it is cooler - blood vessels burst, blood and lymph soaks the meat. You don't even have to marinate - just on the fire.
In total, through legends, pictures and multiple factual evidence, it is possible to determine with a high degree of probability that someone has eaten a person. Maybe he specially brought him out for feeding, maybe he just flew in and suddenly salivated.
Kind aliens? Maybe. You don't hate cows or rabbits, do you? If they were a little smarter, your children would love to teach them to read. Someone could help around the house, become a family member, like a dog. And that would have nothing to do with the main herd and your steak in the restaurant.
Maybe they even lovingly chopped off everyone's head. They reassured me that it was even good that your time had come. That's all, I was tortured! There you will find the Garden of Eden, and some even 40 (or 300 with something?) Virgins every morning! Do not be sad, everything is just beginning. There will be rewarded!
Well, many of you, for sure, told your child about the dog-cat-hamster paradise, where did your favorite rabbit go after going to the vet?
Seven phases of acceptance? Well, until the turn comes, you will go through everything. You will humbly lay your head down and hope for a dog's paradise.
And everywhere scales, scales, scales. Well, it seems to be a direct hint - is the carcass eaten for slaughter, or do you still need to pinch the grass to the herd? Good, Evil, Sins … Here is Archangel Michael with scales and a sword! Weighed, approved, hacked.
Where did they go? Why was there half-eaten in the plate? And who knows them, maybe they moved to the non-material level. Maybe something broke and they can no longer get to their meat market from a parallel world.
And you know what? We here and I, first of all, swear by historians and unknown structures that they have hidden the past from us. What if the past was so terrible that without this amnesia we could not have developed as an independent civilization?
What if the backstage is not an enemy, but a friend? Maybe they are running around the world in order to break all devices, even theoretically capable of opening a picnic for a higher race?
Think about what this development option may be.
As you know, there are only two of them - fifty to fifty. Either meeting a dinosaur on the street or not.