Buongiorno, naturalisti! Today we will talk about mountaineering adepts, artiodactyl jumpers and mountain macho men. Meet hot Italian beauties - ibex, they are also Alpine mountain goats or ibex.
These goats are quite compact. The height at the withers does not exceed 1.2 meters. But the weight of the beast with this size ranges from 90 to 120 kg. The key factor is gender. Macho men are macho men that can weigh more than a hundred, in order to impress ladies with their dimensions. But you can't subdue young ladies by their bodies alone. In the arsenal of the hoofed alphas, there are tremendous, meter-long, curved … horns. They grow throughout the goat's life. A seductive beard completes the image of a hot gigalo.
According to ancient wisdom: a beard is an honor for a man, and a woman has a mustache. So, the goats wanted to spit on your sages of the past. Females are also not deprived of sexy vegetation on the pug. Gender Equality We Deserve! But the kid has an extra feature. With the help of the tail glands, gentlemen are able to rub the beard with a secret with sex pheromones. Both males and females walk in warm fur coats, because in their habitats, you can simply freeze the pops.
Ibeks are herd comrades. Ladies form a clan of 10-20 females and cubs, and young males form their own lunopark with Blackjack and juicy weed, without interfering in the affairs of bearded feminists.
Hoofed men in their prime, in turn, jump like mad, conquering alpine peaks, until Mother Nature gives a command to spar in December-February. By conducting a mating match, the winner gets a whole Thai harem. The result of all these activities is the appearance in May-June of a couple of kids who shamelessly exploit their mother's breasts throughout the year.
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In gastronomic affairs, ibexes are not painfully whimsical. The animals fill their belly with everything that, in principle, it is possible to fill: lichens, mosses, various plants (including poisonous ones). For dessert, they prefer to lick the salt off the stones.
In the hoofed party, the lip is not stupid, because it chose the Alps themselves as their habitat. The whole action takes place at an altitude of 3000 to 5300 meters above sea level. The place is very stellar, because ruminants are a company of many rich people who do not mind from time to time shake up their fat in ski resorts. But everything was not always so clear in our four-legged amigo.
Ancient and medieval madmen-people, who stubbornly did not want to die of sores, took beast as medicine, in the most direct sense! Everything: from horns to kakul - went to the expense of archaic healers, for the goat, unfortunately, was greatly mystified in those dark times. Homo sapiens dubolomus were so intensively "treated" by poor ungulates that by the 19th century no more than 100 ibexes remained.
The animals have become a national treasure of Italians. Lovers of pasta and pizza did not want to share Ibeks with anyone, so the export of this animal from the country was prohibited. But at the beginning of the 20th century, a real criminal case took place - the goats tried on the masks of smugglers and were illegally imported into Switzerland.
And they also managed to break the laws of physics. Thanks to the special, constantly growing pads on the hooves, these adrenaline maniacs are so virtuoso on the rocks, showing the middle finger to physics, that all that remains is to admire their alpine parkour.
Well, how can it be without modern technology! In 2009, one of the extinct subspecies of our hero was cloned. Thus, everything became tip-top for the ibexes. Currently, these artiodactyls live and flourish, reproduce and reproduce. With the latter, by the way, the animals are doing so well that especially perverted people are again allowed to shoot these mountain macho.