Mother gives life, love, protection; depending on the relationship with the mother, the fate of a person develops. The image of a mother is always represented as a concentration of kindness and love, a symbol of all the best and most tender in a person's life. Only now the mother does not always turn out to be a copy of a varnished replicated picture; sometimes it is the mother who can have the most malignant influence on fate …
Before birth
Even in the womb, the fetus clearly senses the desires and thoughts of its parent. Hatred of the fetus, the desire to get rid of it, the intention to have an abortion can serve as fatal circumstances in a person's future life.
Freud wrote that later, in the process of a child's life, after his birth, the mother may even passionately become attached to her offspring, love him with all her soul, but the influence of the initial period, uterine existence, already affects the formation of character and fate.
Scientists have introduced the term "fear of the uterus" - it turns out that if before the conception of a safely born baby, a mother had abortions, a strange, little-studied memory of the violent death of embryos that occurred in her body remains. It remains in the womb, where the conception and development of a new child takes place.
Children born after abortions are more prone to neuroses, their psyche is more fragile, unstable, it is much more difficult for them to fight for survival and adapt to life. It was believed that the fetus does not yet have consciousness and memory, however, already at 24 weeks, scientists observed in the child behavior that may indicate true (cognitive) thinking.
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The fruit not only knows how to get angry, grimace and smile; when, in the course of ultrasound examination, the fetus was accidentally hit with a needle during the amniocentesis procedure, he turned away from it with his whole body, determining the position of the needle with his hand, and struck with his palm on its trunk.
Some researchers go even further and argue that the emotional state of the mother at the moment of conception influences the psyche of the unborn child. After birth, the connection does not disappear, becoming even clearer: during the experiments, psychologists made sure that in the maternity hospital, women in labor woke up precisely at those moments when their child began to cry. At the same time, babies and mothers were in different wings of the building.
Deadly program
Is it any wonder that the mother's mood, her psychological state, her words become a real navigator for the future life of the offspring. Sometimes this influence is truly deadly - for the child, for others or for the mother herself, as in the case of the Roman emperor Nero.
His mother, Agrippina, being pregnant, turned to the fortuneteller to find out if her descendant would reign? The soothsayer told young Agrippina the terrible news from the future: he will reign, but at the same time he will kill his mother. "Let him kill, if only he reigned!" - exclaimed in delight the ambitious queen.
Indeed, he did. He became a cruel and bloodthirsty tyrant, and then made and organized several cunning assassination attempts, which in the end were crowned with success! Here is an example of a typical maternal spell, a psychological program; Probably, in the tender years of childhood, the future mother-killer loved to listen to the repeated story of his birth and the predictions of a great and terrible fate.
“Well, what can I tell you, son,” Agrippina said so affectionately, putting her baby son to bed, “I've already told you all the tales a thousand times…” “And about the prediction, Mom… My beloved. How I will be Caesar, and then I will kill you! - approximately such a dialogue was heard on a warm Roman evening in the royal chambers.
Since history was reflected in Suetonius and Tacitus, the great historians, it means that it really became the talk of the town, repeating itself like an incantation, a suggestion, determining all the future actions of the emperor. Since the beloved mother, the main oracle of any child's life, announced the inevitability of the event, the son's duty is to fulfill what depends on him!
The famous Mother Barker (Ma Barker) raised each of her four sons as a notorious bandit to match herself. Although, according to rumors, she first tried to give them a decent education. In the photo, the killed Ma Barker and her youngest son Fred.
A similar situation was observed and described with amazement in the 18th century by inquisitive researchers of the human soul (psychology as a science did not yet exist) who were present at the executions of London criminals.
The punishment even for a trifling theft was then rather monotonous - the death penalty. And the criminals went out onto the scaffold with jokes, jokes, bows, with all their appearance showing complete satisfaction with their fate. In a word, they behaved like artists after a successful performance. Scientists became interested in this amazing fact and came to the conclusion that joy and satisfaction are associated with the implementation of the mother's program - the spell.
These were the children of poor neighborhoods, from families in which their fathers also traded in theft and robbery; from an early age, young offspring heard the same phrase from their mothers: “You are the same as your father! You end up on the block, just like your daddy!"
In medical and psychological practice, the phenomenon of the "little cripple" is known: a child is constantly ill, often very hard, and there is always a sacrificial and ardently loving mother nearby who treats him, takes him to the doctors, pays for expensive treatment …
In fact, the mother unconsciously instills in the child a disease program; it is in such a situation that she feels needed, loved, her self-esteem rises, and life takes on meaning. Narcologists, for example, are often powerless to help alcoholics, whom the mother brings to the reception and begins a conversation with the doctor with the words: "We drink, doctor!"
And the doctor sees with horror the hidden, secret satisfaction that shines through on the woman's face. This is one of the varieties of psychological vampirism: the son's drunkenness does not allow him to distance himself from his mother, to take responsibility for himself, to start an independent life.
Salvation is possible
Using the example of many famous people, we can trace the destructive and dark influence of a mother who consciously, maybe, loved her child, but implicitly cursed and crippled his soul and life path.
The well-known cavalier-guard girl Nadezhda Durova was rejected by her mother at the moment of birth; she wanted a boy, she even came up with a name - Modest. She turned from the newborn to the wall, and then, later, completely threw the crying baby out of the carriage window, irritated by the children's screams.
The girl grew up, began to wear a man's dress, mastered the science of saber fighting, and went to war. Even at balls she danced for a man, spoke of herself in a masculine way, combed her hair like a man, and this was at the beginning of the 19th century! She was awarded the award of Nicholas the First himself, but made a terrible impression on Pushkin with her unnaturalness and strangeness.
But Oscar Wilde's mother passionately wanted to have a girl, so for a long time the future prisoner of the Reading prison, where he ended up for homosexuality, was taken in dresses, and ribbons were woven into long curls, bows were tied …
The examples are endless, but the story of the mother of the astronomer Johannes Kepler was especially revealing. She drank and beat half-starved children, cursing and wishing all sorts of troubles, that is, she was a real mother-witch. And she achieved the same result: after consulting, the neighbors declared her a witch, and the court sentenced her to be burned.
And they burned it, although, apart from curses and malice, no evidence of communication with the devil was found. Kepler himself, frail, sick, suffering from a serious visual impairment, became a great astronomer, a brilliant scientist; he simply tried to leave such a cruel earthly world, only without dying, as the evil mother ordered, but leaving for the contemplation of countless starry worlds, perhaps kinder and more peaceful than ours.
So there are ways to avoid terrible programming, you just need to take timely measures to "disenchant", to remove the spell imposed by the mother. Psychologist Eric Berne offers a simple way: when some dark force pushes you to do something you don't want to do, you just need to put your hands behind your back and say quietly: "No, Mom, I won't do this!"
Anna KIRYANOVA, psychologist-philosopher