Babylonian confusion - There are over 6,000 different languages on Earth. It is difficult for people to understand each other. However, one language - albeit wordless - is clear to everyone.
Body language is the same for all people, even if most of us use it unconsciously. It arose in a person even before his larynx was formed so much that he could pronounce intelligible sounds. The basic concepts of this language turned out to be common among different cultures, except that later minor variants appeared.
A civilized modern man, and even in such cool climatic zones as Germany, has almost forgotten that he speaks this language, although he sometimes unconsciously and involuntarily uses it. But temperamental southerners, for example Italians or Spaniards, constantly talk with their hands and feet, proud of their expressive plasticity.
Words can be turned over, speech can be juggled, it is not difficult at all. Talleyrand, Napoleon's foreign minister, uttered a somewhat cynical phrase: "The language was given to man to hide his thoughts."
Such a gesture in many countries serves as a signal of agreement, inspiration, recognition and praise. Without a radiant face and a protruding little finger, he can express the concept of "slightly".
Faster than words
This is not the case with body language. Some scholars believe that he doesn't lie at all. Others say: no, he can lie, but doing so is much more difficult than lying with words. If a person blushes, this is also body language, which many would gladly get rid of, but they cannot do it. His interlocutor immediately understands what is happening in the soul of the flushed person: shame, uncertainty, confession of a lie.
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Tests have shown that women understand other people's body language better than men, but men are better at detecting attempts at deception than women. Plus, gestures are faster than words. Since a person is practicing body language longer than speaking, this type of communication is much faster. On the signals of the body of another person, nice or unsympathetic, your own response is given within 1/25 of a second. Try to answer as quickly using your mind and language!
Even the one who "with hands and feet" fights off the assumption that he can speak with his body, still does it. Even monks who have taken a vow of silence, like Catholics-Trappists, in order not to disturb their spiritual concentration, speak with their bodies no worse than inveterate talkers.
Constant signals
Otherwise, a person cannot, says psychoanalyst Paul Watzlavik. Even if he sits silently on a park bench or in a doctor's waiting room, he is constantly sending signals. “Through body language, you can see the process of converting thoughts into matter,” says Tel Aviv-born actor Sami Molcho, undoubtedly the best body language expert ever. He is convinced: "The non-verbal messages that we constantly send and receive determine our decisions by more than 80%."
Smile often and life will become easier
Learn to smile! Even if you are sad, smile! Then you will feel better both inside and outside, because the people around you respond well to your smile.
Smile, shine your smile! Life will become easier, because a smile, like an echo, will return to you from fellow citizens.
It makes life easier and people more beautiful: their wrinkles are smoothed out. Of the twenty facial muscles, a person uses seventeen in his facial expressions, expressing anger, disgust, grief or joy. Moreover, to express joy requires less muscle and muscle effort. Energy is saved, facial wrinkles are avoided, and life is made easier.
Body language in words
The ancient Latins already knew this and invented the saying about "eloquent silence" (Cum tacent clamant). And today, popular rumor puts body language into words and says, for example, that someone "hung his head", "closed his eyes", "washed his hands", "threw himself on his chest", "pressed his ears", "bared teeth "," bit his lip "," thoughtfully scratched his head "," raised an eyebrow in surprise."
Some gestures are the same across all continents - because they are innate. These include gestures of detachment and superiority, fear, aggression, trust and sympathy. Everyone understands widely outstretched hands, a stop signal is also a palm out in front of you. Other gestures, on the other hand, are only common in certain cultures. Many peoples nod their heads when they say yes. A nod from a Bulgarian or a Greek (from bottom to top, often accompanied by the sound "ts-ts-ts"), on the contrary, means “no”. This often confuses tourists, especially since "yes" in Greek is pronounced "ne".
Small differences
In Greece, it can be misinterpreted and friendly waving of the hand with spread fingers. After all, it fatally resembles the local "muntsu", which is also performed with the right hand with spread fingers and is considered the most evil curse: "Let the blood fall on you from the five wounds of Christ!"
There is only enough room on the long bench for two. Do not press on your fellow citizens too much - the normal distance when talking is 50-60 cm i.e. at arm's length.
How effective body language is is easy to test with little experimentation.
Test 1. Two people, or even better a group, sit down so that no one can see the other partner, that is, back to back. When the interlocutors begin to talk about some topic, they immediately feel that the discussion is going on somewhat differently than usual. After all, although partners hear phrases, they do not see how they are pronounced. Communication is broken!
Test 2. It can be done alone. Just raise your eyebrows and try to evoke aggressive feelings in yourself. You will soon notice how difficult it is. By raising the eyebrows, the body signals the need for information. And whoever really wants to know something will not scare off the expected information with aggressive and sullen facial expressions.
Blockade in the head
Or relax your lower jaw and try to calculate in your head how much 13x27 will be. That's right, the answer will be 351. However, the computation probably took longer than usual. Because someone with a drooping lower jaw is probably amazed, embarrassed, or even dumbfounded with fright. And such feelings interfere with sober mental calculations.
Anyone who understands the importance of secret signals will probably want to know how to use them. Behavioral seminars and courses in rhetoric and psychology, for example, prove that this is possible. Many politicians turn to science experts in this art in order to exert the desired effect on their friends, enemies and the masses.
Artificial gestures
Body language workshops help you understand your own mute signals and understand other people's signals. You shouldn't expect miracles here, but you can learn a lot of interesting things. Just do not think that body signals can be memorized in the same way as words of a foreign language, and then they can be applied as needed, deceiving interlocutors. Learned gestures look artificial and fake.
But since our body constantly sends signals, then our consciousness must understand and accept them. And we can learn to better apply the methods given to us by nature in order to communicate more successfully with people around us and feel better.
Prepared based on the materials of "Readers Digest"