Let's take a look at what it means to let go of desire, why it is needed and how to implement it. Let's say we already understand that any desire is like a bird, and holding it in a stranglehold is unprofitable, even dangerous. And in a cage, the bird is unlikely to be as happy as in the wild. And if we really want something, then we should learn to let our desires go free so that they have a chance to come true.
How do you let go of your dreams and goals?
Write out desires
When we do not write down our desires, but carry them all the time in ourselves and in our head, they seem to be attached to us. It seems like why write down, everything is clear? But no. Desires are best removed and stored separately.
Therefore, I often recommend not just writing a list of dreams, but one in which there are at least a hundred of them. To make an inventory there, to look at all this from the outside, to weed out something (realizing that God forbid this will come true), to postpone something, to add something.
When we write down dreams and desires, it is easier for us to understand which of everything that is stored in our head is ours, and what is brought in from outside, by society, by our relatives and friends.
I remember one girl who cried bitterly after writing her list of 100 wishes. She cried because of this huge amount, only one dream was her own. Just one! But you could have spent so much energy on achieving all this, and not get either satisfaction or happiness in the end. Many live like this all their lives, it is not clear for whom and why.
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Those dreams that are "ours" come true easier and faster. Especially if at this time we are not trying to run in the other direction for some kind of illusion and mirage. In addition, coming true, they give us a lot of strength, inspiration, they take us to a different level of life and consciousness. But to find “one's own” in all this noise is very difficult.
Mom says that you need an apartment and an education, dad says that you need a car and work abroad, your husband says that you should want to be thin and have silicone breasts, they will explain from TV that it's time to inject Botox to be young, friends will tell you that you need a career and independence most of all, magazines will convince you that you dream of branded shoes and the new Chanel collection, and of course, you cannot live without a new iPhone. But what do you want yourself? What do you need, your soul, your heart?
First, you need to separate the wheat from the chaff and hear your own voice inside, so as not to put your ladder against the wrong wall.
And, oddly enough, it's easier to let go of your own desires (there is no outside pressure).
Become happy without it all
I will give my example, in which I tracked this very clearly. I grew up alone and dreamed of a big family. To have at least five children, and maybe more. And so our first son was born. We wanted a second child - and nothing comes of it, for a whole year. A huge pain that everything is wrong, that my dream is slipping away. I'm not getting any younger, but I also can't get pregnant. Will all my dreams collapse and I will remain only once a mother?
When I realized that I clung too tightly to my dream, became inadequate in calculating all the charts and taking out the brain to my husband, I thought. All my dream collages were with photographs of large families - at least three children, as if the others had no happiness.
Why doesn't God give us a second child? Or maybe we are simply not supposed to have more children? Let's say we can never become mom and dad again - well, you never know. And then what? Am I unhappy and unfulfilled? Am I losing my life's dream? Was your life wasted?
Or are there any joys and advantages in my current situation?
We have one son. Someone does not manage to give birth even once, but we already have it, it is growing. Both good and loved. If the child is alone, then he will get more - attention, care. Moreover, we have a special Danka, and all this was not superfluous to him. Having one child, it is easier to engage in self-realization and to be mobile. Etc.
I took advantage of my position, and gradually resigned myself to it. And as soon as I accepted that perhaps I would forever remain the mother of only one child, I became pregnant. I myself did not expect this, but a miracle happened as soon as I learned to be happy in my day.
Letting go of desire means to feel and accept that I am happy now. That I have already been given a lot.
Happy and without marriage. And without your home. And without a huge number of dresses. And without children. And without your favorite business. Already happy. And I will be glad to become even happier - if my wishes come true.
Don't give up desire
Sometimes we get carried away with the first point, they say, I feel so good, and we begin to deceive ourselves, to deceive ourselves, they say, why do I need it. So I know a girl who at first was madly in love with children, worn out everyone around her with her burning desire, and then suddenly cooled down. She began to explain to everyone - and to herself that she didn't want children. That children are a mess at home, and she can't stand a mess, that it's difficult to work with him, and without work she will die, and her husband is not so reliable and reliable to give birth from him.
Was she happier about it? Not. On the contrary, she was plunged into depression, and she no longer understood why. She has everything, she does not need children. But the problem is, she wasn’t sincere with herself. Instead of admitting that she wants children, but for some reason now they are not, she decided to give up the desire altogether.
After a few years of this self-deception (and psychotherapy), she became a mom. First, by adopting a child (and recognizing that a child doesn't always have to come exactly the way we want it). And then she suddenly got pregnant. Doctors just shrugged their shoulders, they say, this simply could not happen. It happened because she let go of her desire to become a mother in this way.
The realization of our desires does not always depend on us. And if it does, it is insignificant. Therefore, it is worth learning to let God decide when and what to give us.
He knows better what we need and what we are ready for. We kind of wrote a statement to the manager, and then he will make a decision.
Do what you must and come what may
Letting go of desires does not mean that you have to sit down and wait with your legs down. On the seashore, wait for your Gray and don't give a damn about everything else. Like, I'm not influencing anything here, so I'll just stand on the shore.
Many girls dream of marriage just like that, they say, if he needs to, he will find me. But how will he find you when you are in the office for 12 hours, then gallop on the subway and sleep? At what point in time should he find you? And can you see it, see it, see it?
Well, he will accidentally go into your accounting department, having made a mistake with the door, so you won't even notice him and will not pay attention, because the room will not be illuminated with pink light from this, and butterflies will not start flying around the room.
Many people are building a business, a relationship, and in general their whole life. Like, it will work out somehow, but I want it. But even to win the lottery, you need to buy a ticket. And to build a relationship, you need to invest a lot there.
God has no hands other than ours. In this sense, we are the smiths of our own happiness.
But blacksmiths who understand that the "salary" will come from above and in the amount in which we really deserve it. We continue to do our duty, to work. And what fruits will come - God decides.
That is, if I am not married, but I really want it, then I work on my feminine qualities and go to places where you can meet a decent man. If they pay attention to me, I give the person a chance, even if at first I don't like him. I communicate with him, get to know him better - not physically! I accept courtship, I get to know the person better.
Indeed, more often than not, the one who is intended for us from above, at first, looks ordinary and "the wrong person." If you don't give him a chance, don't look closely, then you can miss the most important thing. That is, I do at least something (and in fact - a lot) in order to one day become a wife. But when marriage comes and who will be my husband - it's not for me to decide. And I understand that.
Or if I dream of a house, then I don't just admire pictures or envy someone's houses, I find out the prices for plots, study where the house would be ideal, what to build it from, draw layouts that I like.
And then, step by step, and maybe not very quickly, brick by brick I go to my dream. We saved up money for the land - we bought a plot, and began to build it slowly. Or they bought a finished house, but away from the city, where it is cheaper.
Thank
We often forget about this. We focus on what is not, forgetting what has already been given. My friend is the mother of four wonderful daughters, who madly dreamed of a son. And for a long time it was her obsession with the idea that she was a bad wife, that she did not give birth to an heir to her husband, that girls were a waste of time, they would get married and scatter. She felt sorry for herself, worried and did not feel special warmth for her daughters.
Once she got into the house of another mother, who had five sons - and not a single daughter. She prayed to God for the girl, but in vain. As a joke, they offered each other to change, shared their problems, experiences. But the most valuable thing for my friend was what she saw from the side.
Her daughters calmly played with dolls and houses, cleaned up the dishes, sang songs, danced. And five gallant knights all the time ran across the ceiling, smashing everything in their path, fighting, turning the whole house upside down.
Arriving home, she first thought about how lucky she was, how God saved her from loud sounds and battles. What happiness - girls who help around the house, do not create problems, study well, are gentle and affectionate. As she said, she was “let go” at that moment, they say, Thank God! Gratitude filled her heart, she stopped feeling defective. And a year later, a son was born. Completely unplanned.
Be grateful for all that is already given. And much is given. Most of us have where to live (even if this housing is not separate and not our own). And there are millions of people who live on the streets, in boxes, in basements. We have something to eat. We have relatives and friends. Legs, hands. Many things have already been given to us, but not appreciated.
Be grateful without pretensions - when will it happen? Switch to thanks all the time. Even though I don't have my own home, thanks for the opportunity to rent an apartment and live separately from my parents.
Even if I do not have a large wardrobe with dresses, thanks for the fact that I already have four very beautiful dresses, a sewing machine and a talent for sewing. Etc.
When we know how to be grateful, dreams come true faster. After all, who wants to pamper the old woman with gifts from the fairy tale "About the Fisherman and the Fish"?
She is not enough and not so all the time, she needs more all the time (however, the result of such a life is natural).
If you do all this, you will feel that the tension decreases, life is easier and more joyful, and desires become easier and faster. And if they have not yet been fulfilled, then at least you do not feel depression on this topic, and your hands, clinging to the desire, have loosened their grip.
So you need to keep going forward, everything is correct, and in due time you will see shoots from the sown seeds. Published by econet.ru
Author Olga Valyaeva, from the book "It is harmful not to dream"
