Last week, a Russian official from the military space center admitted that Russia does not have - or rather, no plan to combat aliens from other galaxies.
He said: "There are many problems on Earth and around the Earth." But a US military adviser last year said the US has a plan and hopes that America and Russia will fight together. After all, these are two world superpowers, and they will have the most powerful weapons to repel an attack.
Should we worry that Mother Russia is not ready for the first alien war? Our frightened correspondent Joe Mackey will tell about it. So Joe, Russia is out of the game. How bad is this news?
JOE MACKIE, a terrified Fox News reporter: Alas, that's not the worst thing, Greg. I'm more worried about something else. After all, we can't even come to an agreement with Russia on whether to consider Iran bad or not. We're wasting precious evacuation time trying to decide which side Snowden should fight on.
An interesting note. I'm glad you take it so calmly. Can we win the war against aliens without Russia?
JOE MAKEY: No chance, Greg! We are doomed! That is, thanks to Hollywood, we are too optimistic about how we will oppose the invasion of aliens. They're great at interplanetary travel, Greg! But our F-16s will be destroyed immediately. Take the movie Signs, for example. They flew billions of miles and came out naked to the earthlings. They could be killed with water. These same aliens will have pants and lightsabers.
Right. Can we somehow prepare for this or are we doomed?
JOE MAKEY: We're doomed, but it's best to stay away from the sights that explode so spectacularly on the big screen. And I will give one more piece of advice - find a beautiful lady and tell her: "Hey, the whole world is going to hell, marry me!"
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