More often we come across ghosts of people (restless souls) who are kept in this world by unfinished business. Buddhists might have called these "unfinished business" another word - "attachments." In fact, a person who dies without solving a problem or has a strong connection with the material world can remain in it in the form of a ghost. Unfinished business can be as simple - let's say the desire to see your child or grandson as an adult - and difficult and unpleasant - for example, the tragedy of a young girl who was brutally raped and murdered, taken to the grave.
Sometimes the problem seems important only to the spirit itself. One day while researching, I came across a ghost of a man who had once built a house that was now owned by my clients' family. He lived in it throughout his life, and although he died in another place, he remained in the estate even after his death - the man wanted to see how the new owners would admire his brainchild. Nothing connected him with this world, except pride in his creation and a certain curiosity: the ghost was curious to observe the new living and succeeding generations.
The main thing to consider when facing restless souls is their human nature. There is one old legend that probably appeared in the Middle Ages - it says that after death people become involved in all the secrets of the universe. Believing the legend, the sorcerers of Elizabethan and subsequent eras tried to summon the spirits to show them the way to the hidden treasures.
In my opinion, this is a very funny way of exploiting ghosts, because the dead know about where the golden treasure can be buried no more than we do (unless it once belonged to them). Curiously, these days the living have an advantage over the dead thanks to the invention of metal detectors.
Let's forget about the quirks of necromancy in the Middle Ages. When encountering ghosts of people, it is important to remember that they think, act and feel like they are alive. One difference that I have been able to notice is that ghosts are even more "human" than we are. Each incident leaves marks on the souls of the dead. Their emotions are brighter and stronger than ours, as are their psychological problems, love and hate, their obsessions - after all, material objects have ceased to be a distraction for ghosts, and all they have left are thoughts and feelings.
Their attachment to the physical world is largely due to a complex and rich inner world. It is so vast that there is no more room for the little things of life. Remember how you sometimes wake up at four in the morning and lie in bed, sadly thinking about every slightest problem and trouble in your life. You are completely alone in the dark, nothing can distract you from your inner anxieties, and they circle in your head over and over again, until, in the end, you are completely paralyzed by gloomy thoughts. Do you remember?
Now imagine that you are dead and four o'clock in the morning will last forever. You can't roll over and fall asleep, you can't wait for sunrise and plunge into a new day. There is nothing in this world "louder" and persistent than your thoughts. They cannot be drowned out. As my experience shows, this is how the ghosts of people who psychics sometimes call "earthly" feel.
Most often, restless souls need a good psychologist with whom they can talk about their fears and hopes, free themselves from a heavy burden and go to better worlds. But, unfortunately, there are few living people capable of communicating with spirits and perceiving them, and they can be met quite rarely. And is it surprising that, when faced with someone who understands him at least a little, the ghost often becomes attached to this person and by all means tries to discover his presence?
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Keep in mind: not all ghosts stay on the ground against their will. Some make an informed choice - and they are sculpted from a different dough than those who are held here by attachments. Ghosts deliberately found in the physical world often take on the role of guardian or guide.
In a sense, they are also shackled by earthly affairs - take, for example, a mother who died in childbirth and wanders around the world until her child grows up and becomes an adult. Sometimes in such a situation, a woman remains on Earth not of her own free will, but because of great grief and sadness. But if the ghost made his conscious choice - decided to postpone the transition to the other world and help the living, then he experiences completely different feelings. He is not tormented by boundless longing and anxiety. His emotions are also extremely strong, but most often it will be love, peace and tranquility.
The paranormal phenomena caused by such ghosts are characterized by a number of distinctive features. You can tell you are dealing with a human ghost if he:
• Reacts reasonably to attempts to talk to him;
• demonstrates vivid and very “human” emotions;
• behaves like a person;
• has a certain "human appearance" in the eyes of those who are able to perceive it, or leaves a "human impression";
• has a specific gender.
It is usually possible to negotiate with perfumes of this type. More often than not, they do not want to harm people or scare them. Most of them are not at all opposed to communication. Ghosts want their living neighbors to know about their existence and to reckon with them. Even when they seemingly behave in a threatening manner, it is usually only clumsy attempts to make contact with the person.
A ghost can appear at the crib of the youngest child in the family, but not in order to scare him. In this case, the parents of the baby believe that the spirit is not indifferent to their child, but earlier it, most likely, unsuccessfully tried to communicate with the adult residents of the house. Due to a number of factors, children are more open and susceptible to the paranormal than adults.
The simplest reason is this: growing up, people develop the habit of giving a rational explanation to everything that happens, and when this fails, they discard what they see. Children still cannot draw a clear line between the real and the fictional, the possible and the impossible. Therefore, waking up at night and noticing how something incomprehensible bent over his bed, the child will intuitively react.
Adults, most likely, will consider what they see as simply a bad dream, turn over on the other side and fall asleep again. Of course, in this case, it is not difficult to decide that the ghost is deliberately pestering the kids. And even if parents do not believe in ghosts, they will start shaking over their child, indignant at the mere thought that someone is scaring their baby.
But spirits also love to appear to people at night when they sleep, and this habit of theirs only makes the living fearful. However, even adults in their sleep become more open to paranormal experiences. Of course, some entities take advantage of this and make predatory attacks on their victims, but often in this way the ghost simply tries to talk to us and looks for the most effective way, and we completely misunderstand his good intentions.
To get along with such a ghost, you must first find out whether he is here at will or not. If the spirit remained in this world voluntarily and wants to communicate or look after its relatives, then, perhaps, he has good reasons for this. In this case, you should not try to get rid of it. Ghosts voluntarily remaining are usually complacent and willing to indulge the family's wishes.
So, if people are not satisfied with the meeting of the spirit with this or that child, they must inform the ghost about this and determine for it strict framework and boundaries that it will be obliged to observe. Establishing clear rules of conduct for the ghost with respect to guests, children and pets will help hosts avoid many possible troubles.
It may still be difficult for some families to get used to the presence of a ghost in their home. But if you learn to distinguish an imaginary danger from a real one, as well as manage the behavior of a benevolent ghost with the help of clear rules and polite requests, both parties can not only live peacefully together, but also benefit from such a situation.
And what if a person's spirit remained on the earthly plane by mistake or against his will? Depending on the specific family, ghost, and situation, the most sensible solution may again be to try to learn how to coexist peacefully. Not all of the ghosts held here by unfinished business are evil, and not all of them are difficult to get along with.
Think of the old man in New Jersey who just wanted to see how people live in his house. The only unpleasant moment in this story was that the ghost had a weakness for the owner of the estate, and she constantly felt how he was secretly watching her. This peculiar voyeurism embarrassed the woman a lot, although she knew that the spirit did not wish her harm.
The best solution in this situation is to understand the characteristics of the ghostly neighbor and try to treat him appropriately. When several people live together in the same house, they set a certain framework for each other and draw the line between personal and common space. If the ghost prefers to live in the attic or in the basement and does not bother the owners - except sometimes it makes a little noise - is it worth it to drive him away?
Does the ghost of someone who once lived here for a long time have no right to be tied to their home? Working with fellow researchers of the other world, I sometimes hear the opinion that only humans have the right to their living space, and ghosts have nothing to do here. But who are we to decide this?
If a ghost does no harm, and it scares you only by the fact that he is a ghost, is there any need to drive him away? In each case, everything must be carefully weighed and thought over. Do not forget that you can simply establish rules of conduct in the house, which its living and deceased inhabitants agree not to violate.
Of course, sometimes a restless soul creates too much trouble, and it is better for him to find another refuge for himself. I saw ghosts with such serious psychological problems that they absolutely needed the help of a specialist! Although by nature they are not evil and do not deliberately harm people, they can still pose a considerable danger to others. When a family is dealing with such a restless soul, it is better to get rid of it.
Ghosts often do not want to cause trouble and, by their attempts to communicate, honestly try to get our sympathy and help from us. This is good news for researchers, because then the spirit will respond positively to attention from specialists. And having learned what serious damage his presence is causing to the family, he is likely to rethink his behavior and leave.
The best approach to such spirits is talking therapy (adapted for the purpose of ghostbusters). Make contact and try to find out what worries him. In more than half of the cases, the reason for all the troubles is the recent changes in the room. I can't count the number of times I've worked with families who didn't have any ghost problems until one day they renovated the house.
Human ghosts love the habitual way of life. They are stuck in the same phase of their "life" and their reaction to any changes in the surrounding space is extremely negative. They cannot change themselves, therefore they want their habitat to remain always the same. Of course, tenants have every right to make repairs in their home, and this needs to be conveyed to the spirit.
Change is natural for the living world; ghosts need to come to terms with this and move on. Sometimes you can meet such a stubborn restless soul who does not even want to admit the fact that she has died. And again, a conversation about specific problems of this spirit will help you - by talking yourself or contacting a specialist, you will find a way to solve them (or, at least, the ghost is aware of them).
M. Belanger