How to get rid of complexes and fears? How to become happy, wealthy and successful? How to build harmonious relationships and a brilliant career? Hundreds of books and thousands of blogs on the Internet have been written about this, including very sensible and useful ones. But nevertheless, if you are going to use universal recommendations, remember that sometimes self-medication (even according to competent instructions) leads to the opposite effect.
The most charming and attractive
Gone are the days when popular psychology was limited to good advice - harmless and … obvious. Now you can find detailed recommendations for working with complex psychotechnics, which, of course, leads people into temptation. Indeed, many techniques developed by talented scientists give amazing results. So why not give it a try: it won't get any worse, will it?
Actually, not really. There is always a risk of something wrong to understand or do, so even the most seemingly safe psychological exercises may turn out to be a time bomb - and instead of solving one problem, a person will get a whole bunch of new troubles. Take at least the well-known auto-training. It would seem, what could be easier? Regularly tell yourself that you are the most charming and attractive (or the strongest, wealthiest and most successful) - and gradually you get used to a new image. Simple, understandable, accessible. However, there is also one very significant "but" here. Often people do not understand that giving themselves such attitudes, they are just putting on a mask. In some situations, this mask is convenient and comfortable, but the essence of a person does not change - because the true cause of the problem (complexes,failures in personal life or career) and remained unworked, and often - not identified. It turns out that the new image allows you to solve some specific problems (for example, to successfully pass an interview), but the internal problems are hidden even deeper. And, do not hesitate, someday, at the most inopportune moment, they will shoot.
Take two: filmed
By the way, quite often people cannot discover the original problem on their own precisely because … they do not consider the situation to be problematic. Conflicts with peers or parents, traumatic episodes from early childhood: it is possible that a person clearly remembers them - but does not even assume that some "minor" quarrel or resentment has generated a huge number of complexes and troubles.
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You are probably familiar with a popular and very effective technique that suggests rewriting the scenario of your life. A person should remember his failures, traumatic circumstances of the past - and replace all negative with positive. Thus, we form a new, more successful image of our own I - and by changing the past (on paper, and most importantly, in the mind), we program ourselves a happy future. This is really real - provided that the original problem has been identified. And when working independently, this, unfortunately, does not always work. A simple example: a man recalls that he was teased at school - why, it seems to him, his self-esteem suffered - with all the ensuing consequences. Why teased? Yes, probably because he was an excellent student, a "nerd" - and such in his class did not favor. And now a man writes a new life scenario,where he is a good student, but at the same time he is also the soul of the company, he has many friends, and the girls like him … However, in real life there is no change for the better. Why? Because the reason for the conflict with peers was not grades at all. And, for example, in the fact that the hero of the story once did not get along with the informal class leader. Or was "mama's boy." Or once he made a fuss to the teacher … It is this situation that needs to be rewritten, to look for new options for behavior, solutions to the conflict. Then further events will develop according to a new, happy scenario.that the hero of the story once did not get along with the informal class leader. Or was "mama's boy." Or once he made a fuss to the teacher … It is this situation that needs to be rewritten, to look for new options for behavior, solutions to the conflict. Then further events will develop according to a new, happy scenario.that the hero of the story once did not get along with the informal class leader. Or was "mama's boy." Or once he made a fuss to the teacher … It is this situation that needs to be rewritten, to look for new options for behavior, solutions to the conflict. Then further events will develop according to a new, happy scenario.
Dangerous experiments
In recent years, breathing practices have become very popular. Rebirthing, pneumo-catharsis, holontropic breathing and many other techniques are excellent tools for self-knowledge, release from fears, complexes, the consequences of psychological trauma, the disclosure of creativity and even healing. And on the Internet it is easy to find detailed instructions for mastering these techniques. Simple, convenient, accessible … The problem is that an unprepared person runs the risk of not coping with the problem, which, thanks to breathing practices, will unexpectedly “fish out” from the depths of the subconscious. As a result, he seems to get stuck in an unpleasant situation, is captured by his own past.
There are similar "side effects" when using meditation techniques on your own.
Self-hypnosis or autogenous training is a wonderful method of psychological correction. Self-hypnosis allows you to discover hidden motives of behavior, the deep reasons for failure, to reveal new abilities and supernormal abilities and even … to extend your day: with the help of certain techniques, you can reduce the duration of sleep to 15 minutes a day! Can you imagine how many new opportunities a person will have? All this sounds extremely tempting, so there are more and more people who want to master the method of self-hypnosis.
In essence, autogenic training is a meditation aimed at developing psycho-volitional qualities: the ability to purposefully concentrate attention, relax, plunge into a certain trance state, etc. You can master self-hypnosis yourself - but there are risks. For example, during a dive, you need to tense certain muscle groups. And a person who practices self-hypnosis without the help of a specialist is not always able to control the process. As a result, muscle strain, clamps occur, which has an extremely negative effect on the state of the nervous and cardiovascular systems and, as a result, can lead to the development of diseases, nervous breakdowns, insomnia and other serious troubles. The fee for the experiment is too high, do you agree? Therefore, I am convinced:It is undesirable to study classical autogenic training according to the Johann Schultz method without the guidance of an experienced specialist.
Mother father me…
I find family constellations to be a very effective technique. The method was developed by the German psychiatrist Bert Hellinger, who believed that the origins of many psychological problems should be sought in disorders of family ties. In the classic version, therapy is carried out in a group under the guidance of a specialist. The patient distributes roles between other participants in the session - he appoints “substitutes” for father and mother, brothers and sisters, grandmother, aunt and other relatives. She talks about her feelings and identifies the problem. And the psychotherapist, by modeling certain situations, helps to identify its origins, eliminate the causes and, as a result, find a way out.
From the outside, such work can look like a performance, where everyone plays their role. But sometimes people are advised to work on their own - and the patient becomes his own psychotherapist, and toys or chess pieces act as “substitutes” for his relatives. Sometimes the experiment turns out to be quite successful, but there are many cases when a person, instead of solving his own problem, received someone else's “load”. For example, in the course of an impromptu play, it turns out that the hero's uncle was a gambler (or an eternal loser, or henpecked, etc.) - and the person involuntarily transfers his problem into his life, further complicating his own situation. And, most likely, sooner or later he gets an appointment with a psychologist.
Of course, there are many examples of successful independent use of psychotechnics. But still, if you are not entirely sure of success, it is better not to experiment with your own psyche.
Healer, psychologist, hypnologist Mikhail Miller