In the modern world, however, as in ancient times, not many people can reach certain heights from scratch. It’s not that success doesn’t come to others, but it is real success that is meant. when a person reaches his goal, having gone through various trials, adversities, no matter what. Of course, you can, for example, just win at cards at the fool by playing with your friends one evening. And it will be a success too. But this is not about such a small success, but about really great things. Such deeds that deserve all respect, and often the envy of others. Yes, however, small successes are also included in this list.
Why are various personal growth trainings so fashionable and in demand now? Because, obviously, some people need them. For someone who wants to achieve something in life, but fails. For someone who doesn't go with the flow, but wants something more than the simple life of a hard worker.
Most often, this desire for development depends on material factors, i.e. people want not so much personal development as material. Beautiful life, yachts, resorts, young beauties next to you, etc. People want to live beautifully. This is what various coaches speculate on in training. Assuring that by listening to their lectures, you are bound to become rich and successful alpha males. Women will stick to you, respect men, and money will float. Because of their natural greed, laziness and desire to get everything and at once, people fall for such tricks and sign up for trainings. Allowing, at the same time, good money for their authors.
But the authors of these trainings use simple methods of collective hypnosis, in which a person, under the influence of others, begins to do what the coach says. Coaches inspire them that they are the best and they can do everything, but when trying to implement these skills in practice, a person is frustrated because he really considers himself successful, self-confident, but things never go uphill, girls do not stick, and men still do not respect.
But the key to any success has long been deduced in the simplest formula and is widely used by people. To succeed in this or that business, you need to work catastrophically on it. A strong will is needed, which will not allow to pass at the first difficulties, but force to continue what has been started, no matter what. Well, and the famous formula: "Patience is the key to success!"
Waiting patiently, working hard, and not dwelling on challenges are all you need to know to be successful. Another thing is that sometimes it is all very difficult. But the more difficult the path, the sweeter the victory!
But what is the essence of personality in the formation of success? Why are trainings called personal growth trainings? Because their authors know how important it is for the achievement of certain goals is the person's personality. After all, it is the personality that is the indicator of success.
It is clear that the term "personality" can also be used for very weak, helpless people. In forensics, they also like to "identify". Therefore, to denote the importance and high degree, this term can be used with a capital letter, thereby showing that this is not just a man from a gray mass, but really a Personality.
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At the same time, I do not want to offend those who can be attributed to the gray mass of people. All people are different, and to each his own. But we are talking precisely about those who really want to be strong and achieve their bold goals.
There is a term "Cult of personality", which at one time was widely used to describe the political system under I. Stalin. Supporters of Stalinism responded to criticism as follows: "Well, there was a personality cult, I agree, but there was also a Personality!"
If this or that ruler did not have a Personality, his successes in governing this or that state would be negligible. I will not give any characteristics here to one or another ruler, but I want to point out the very nuance of having a Personality. These individuals were far from always humane or even behaved bloodthirsty, but we are talking about the very significance of the Personality of this or that person.
It turns out that in order to achieve success in a really difficult matter, you must first turn yourself into a Personality, i.e. become a person yourself. This means that the magnitude of success is directly dependent on the magnitude of personal growth. The more developed and strong your personality is, the more success you can achieve. That is, in other words, Personality is an indicator of success.
What is the personality of a strong person? The most important difference from ordinary mortals is that a developed Personality has a vector of development. Those. she is ready to develop constantly, without stopping at anything, while the personality of a simple courtyard gopnik does not develop at all. His body undergoes physiological changes, aging, but his mind stands still, stopping at some age. This means that such a non-developing personality does not have a vector orientation.
If you look at already successful people: famous artists, athletes, businessmen, scientists, etc. - it is immediately visible to the naked eye that each of them is an expert in their field. The renowned cardiac surgeon performs excellent cardiac surgery. The businessman owns a large company and his business is booming. The athlete is the winner of various competitions, etc. Each of them has dedicated his life to some kind of business and does it so well that this is what makes other people respect him and envy him.
Naturally, such people have good material security. But if they were fixated on the fact that they want a lot of money, then they would not be able to achieve success in this business for one simple reason. Whenever you try to be successful, you run into difficulties that prevent you from doing it. At the same time, motivation can drop and despondency can overcome. And if you pass every time, with every difficulty, then you cannot achieve any success at all. Not with anything.
Then it is impossible to become anything at all. Then a person is able to join the ranks of the gray mass. Therefore, when developing a personality, it is important to have or find some kind of business that will absorb you so much that you will reach unprecedented heights in it. Be it sports, business, science, art, any handicraft or anything else. No matter. The main thing is to have something in which you can be a first-class specialist.
After that, you will have material support, and the love of women, and the respect of men. And it's all so simple, however, many people do not understand this or simply do not want to do anything. There are some. It's one thing when you want, but you can't and don't know how, and it's another thing when you don't know, and don't even want to know anything. You are satisfied with your boring life in the form of an empty pastime with some kind of life substitute: TV, computer games, alcohol and so on (there are many of them).
How can you develop your personality if training is essentially just extorting money and time? Develop yourself. As we have already found out, in order to become a human being, in order to become truly a Personality, you first need to figure out what, and what, in fact, I have to do. But this question is very difficult for many. Many people who are in search of themselves, who cannot find a place for themselves, cannot find a goal. Tackling one thing is not interesting, trying another is also not interesting. They ask themselves: what then interests me? - and do not receive an answer. Nothing! Nothing interesting. And there are many such people.
And what is the problem with such a fruitless search? The problem is motivation! The problem is of a psychological nature. A person, while growing up, did not receive proper upbringing from his parents for one reason or another. And in adulthood, he has no particular craving for the accomplishment of any business. So we found out the reason. After all, a human personality begins to form not at the age of 20, but much earlier - at a very early age, when he spends all the time with his parents, and then kindergarten educators and teachers. But in our reality, parents very often do not pay due attention to the child. I mean not just "pusi-pusi-eat porridge", but attempts to teach him something.
After all, what is education? Many people understand parenting as mothering. Feed, dress, shoe, deliver to kindergarten / school, etc. Those. purely household stuff. However, parenting should not be confused with caring. Upbringing is the transfer of your experience to the younger generation. Those. when a parent teaches his child something. Therefore, the so-called kindergarten teachers are called in vain, because they really do not teach anything there. These are not educators, but overseers. They, in fact, simply monitor the child, his household needs, so that he does not climb where he should not, eat and sleep on time, i.e. just looking after the kids when the parents can't.
Therefore, many careless parents sincerely believe that by satisfying his everyday needs, turning on a cartoon on the TV, feeding, shoeing, dressing, they fulfill their parental duty. And the child grows up to be mediocre. Education also involves the transfer of their experience. And it so happened in us, in mammals, that the process of learning in children occurs by copying the behavior of an older individual, which enjoys some kind of authority in the child. Simply put, the child copies the behavior of his parents.
Remember that concentration camp prisoners were also fed and clothed, while their personalities were not important to anyone, they were kept "for slaughter." Therefore, it is not enough just to feed and clothe children - they still need to be educated. In all animals, parents are engaged in raising their cubs, teach to fly, hunt, teach to live and survive in the world on their own, and only our, human stupid parents, believe that it is enough to cram some food into them and give them a tablet with games! After all, even the owner brings up puppies, trains!
If his father is a strong, self-confident man, then the son grows up to be a strong, strong-willed person. If a mother likes to throw tantrums, is always unhappy with everything and in general is a bitch, then her daughter grows up to be a bitchy shrew. We copy the behavior of our parents, and if our children grow up "bad", then to a greater extent it is our fault and not theirs (children). We are to blame for this. So we behaved like animals, although animals behave better!
Therefore, let's return to the development of personality and the search for oneself. Lack of motivation is due to the emptiness inside us that our parents could not fill during our growth. Look at the children of rich people. No, not our would-be oligarchs, who made their fortune on the criminal privatization of the 90s, but on really rich people. Who are trained in prestigious institutions. For example, children of famous computer giants like Bill Gates don't even use computers at all. You are unlikely to meet them sitting at computer games. Yes, of course, children are children and nobody canceled pranks. But what do their parents have on the way out? What kind of people do their children grow up to be? They know several foreign languages, know how to play a musical instrument, understand the exact and humanitarian sciences. Simply put,leaders are trained from them, educated intellectuals are trained, personalities are forged from them, and not a gray mass. Initially, these children were born for these great purposes, and not just drunk were conceived at some party.
They develop mentally, physically, culturally and morally. In our information age, there is so much information available - take it practically for free! But parents still spit on their children. They have no time. They make money. They, poor and unfortunate, have to work two jobs to feed their families. They have so many things to do, and they have to be in time there, and here. Or, more precisely, supposedly to feed the family, but in fact they are just trying to get rid of them in this way and take time for themselves to provide their "wishes":
- buy an expensive (or not necessary) car, or change it to a new, more expensive one, “after all, it's not like driving it all your life! You need to strive for something!”;
- make expensive repairs in the apartment, otherwise “the neighbors are so beautiful!”;
- buy another apartment on a mortgage, while then hunching to the bank for 15-20 years;
- go to a resort, because the long-awaited vacation has come, and "how is it without me in Turkey ?!";
- relax with friends, hang out in the club / bar / at a party, like all adults, we are tired after work! We have the right !;
- stupidly sit near a TV or monitor.
And what about the children? And let the children learn their lessons, but we have no time, we are busy! To teach with them is not strong enough, I had a very difficult day, I was tired. And really, such a lifestyle is very exhausting. You can, for example, move to a village and start farming.
Therefore, it turns out that a person has emptiness inside. He seems to want something, but he doesn't know what. There is nothing to push off from, nothing to find fault with. It's just the emptiness that he fills with various substitutes for life: lying in front of the screen, drinking beer with friends, playing computer games, disappearing at work, engaging in various meaningless activities in order to somehow brighten up his inner emptiness.
Well, what to do now? So such people run to various trainings, they think that their personality will immediately grow - and they will achieve success, become on a par with the owners of large corporations. But nothing happens. They do not become so, and the head is more and more filled with illusions.
In this case, you need to go to a psychologist and work out all these shortcomings in yourself. You can do it yourself, but it takes longer. On individual advice and recommendations of a psychologist, work on motivation, analyze your past, your past shortcomings, mistakes, look for their roots and work them out. First you need to clean out all the dirt that has accumulated in a person over all these years, and only then think about success. In order "to pour clean water into a bucket, first you need to pour out the dirty water and clean it."
Pre- and post-perestroika times, the dashing nineties and zero - all the same - the Period of change. As an ancient Chinese proverb says, "God forbid you live in an era of change." When there is no stability, then humanity rushes from corner to corner. Old institutions are crumbling, but new ones are not yet ripe. And all this is reflected in the common people. However, whatever it may be, under any conditions you can always find time for your children. And even if hunger and malnutrition, as often happened in history, but in these times people became people and individuals. From this it follows that the formation of a child's personality requires a very simple and free thing from parents - attention. But not just the attention of stupid mothers and fathers, according to the principle of "shushi-pushi", but real attempts to learn from their own experience.
Author: Oleg Prikhodko
