As a Spanish proverb, attributed to Francisco Goya, says “El sueño de la razón produce monstruos.” Therefore, while Scythia has not yet completely turned into another “tartaria” and nonsense is not became another cliche from a series of "as you know", I think the mind needs to be a little invigorated.
I know that many people do not like HOW I write … it’s not a question, as soon as the “Tartarii” cease to be generated, and the official history (OI) becomes an example of realism and honest unbiased coverage of the events of the past - I will stop writing. Absolutely. Until then …
So SKUNK69 presents …
Probably, somewhere I have already said that ALL CONQUEST AND GREAT DISPLACEMENT OF PEOPLES IN THE OLD WORLD ALWAYS OCCURRED FROM WEST TO EAST. But historiography is strenuously imposed on a different opinion, even the notorious "Scythians" allegedly came from somewhere in the east. Let's start with the "Scythians" and begin to understand.
Or rather, not even so, let's figure it out from the very beginning, since I decided to take on this. The fact is that, according to historiography, at first, it seemed, there were not even tribes and peoples, but the so-called "cultures" with the nameless names of someone who lived in the territory that archaeologists decided to classify as some “Culture”, you probably heard: “Srubnaya”, “Yamnaya”, “the culture of battle axes”, “the culture of bell-shaped ceramics”, “Afanasyevskaya culture”, “the culture of drums from stradivari”.
FOR EVERYONE, I explain that the latest culture is my joke, for those who understand what they mean, explanations are not needed, and those who have been reading my articles for a long time understand that the previous five names are jokes of those who held positions in historical institutes decades before my birth, and these jokes became "scientific terms" for several decades, and without any explanation that "it was a joke" on their part … Maps of these "cultures" are even invented, where on the modern geographic contour map without taking into account watersheds, river basins and a sense of reality, generously, without being trifle, with wide strokes along and across thousands of kilometers wave "cultures" (I must say right away that these same "cultures" are a gold mine and just some kind of gift for various "tartaras", "Unbeaten" and "reptilian" …).
How is all this done? Again, let's start over so we don't come back every time. The fact is widely known that chemistry originated from alchemy, but you will never and never hear that archeology originated from treasure hunting, although this is also an indisputable fact. So, "treasure hunting" has always been a subsection of such criminal directions as fraud and desecration of graves, and only from the last third of the 19th century, starting with the giant Troy scam, brilliantly carried out with colossal profits by the world class adventurer Schliemann, the criminal business became a "science" " archeology ". After successfully passing the "period of initial capital accumulation", the criminal business is ALWAYS LEGALIZED, and plowmen become officials (for clarity, remember the Morgan Bank or the gang of expropriators, the recognized head of which was I. V. Stalin). Superprofit always turns the "shadow" business into a legal one, and now counterfeiting is reborn into a "science" of numismatics, treasure hunting into archeology, and speculation with "treasure maps" into "antique cartography".
But legality and pseudoscience do not mean that the techniques and methods of "production" will be taken out of thin air, and now new "sciences" for more than a century continue to improve the techniques taken from the arsenal of … swindlers and defilers of burials. In order not to fall under the article, future plundered burials immediately date back to centuries, and preferably BC, and if there is some bastard who will explain that his great-great-grandfather is buried there, they will try to explain to him that he was wrong from a scientific point of view.
Promotional video:
And if the deluded person persists in his wrongness, more competent people may even promise him something in return, not necessarily healthy, but necessarily very convincing.
In order not to offend the feelings of people who mostly honestly try to do their job, I will not analyze any specific “culture” recognized in the archaeological community, but I will explain the technology using my own example, ie on the example of the "culture of drums from stradevari":
"… During the construction of the Palace of Culture at the village council of the village of Bolshie Boduny, on the site of a liquidated spontaneous dump, unskilled workers (migrant workers from the countries of the present southern foreign countries and neighboring countries) builders (yes, archeology is also a byproduct of banal construction), found something cylindrical from the unknown modern builders-laborers of the material on which the "suffering cook" was scrawled with a nail …
The foreman, as expected, informed his director, who, having contacted the head of the region Teimuraz Isakievich Vzyatkobratov, explained to him the essence of the delay in the construction of a century on a regional scale, and, as it were, by the way, informed him that he had an acquaintance, an unknown Russian archaeologist with the world name Murtollo Bentsionovich Ivanov-Nepomniachtchi, who specializes in the mysteries of the century and almost discovered Arkaim before the construction was completed! To which Vzyatkobratov gave immediate consent, reported to the regional committee, to his chief Dazdraperm Sosipatrovna Valterzhenko, who quite by chance was a relative of the governor and the former leader of the Komsomol cell of the region. As a result of these actions, the Bribery … was immediately removed from the process.
It was reported to the capital city that undeniable artifacts were found, proving that on the site of the Big Boduns +100500 years ago, as much as a week earlier than Derment itself, an ancient city famous in some collective farms appeared, possibly mentioned by the ancient Greek scientist Herodotus -100490 years ago in the damaged the inscription, consisting of the letters "… duna!", there was even an assumption that in front there could be a priestly letter "Pi" and even perhaps some kind of union … but until the exact localization of this ancient metropolis is established, it is difficult to speak with confidence …
The provincial administration explained that they urgently need funds from the budget, unlimited from the point of view of common sense, three quarters of which do not even have to leave the sacred Maskvabad, and 10% of the finances that have reached the regional treasury will even go to restore the historical heritage of the past of the Big Boduns, including first of all, the dacha of the ancient noble family Valterperzhenkov, and the house of the local head Vzyatkobratov, where the horse of the mythical king known as "Pitor 1" stopped to piss, and if, for some unknown reason, money suddenly remains, they will certainly go to continue the excavation! In general, consent was given even before the proposal was voiced, and scientific work began!
The distribution of funds was taken up by competent stakeholders, the builders were immediately transferred to the most important areas of archaeological work - digging a pit for a pool in the existing house-estate of Valterperzhenkov, and from the provincial center immediately and free of charge was sent an archaeological group under the leadership of Professor of the Historical Institute Sidor Petrovich Shmoka, who had a Uralets bicycle from his equipment, and brooms, shovels and children's buckets, which could be easily transported in the Paz suburban bus in the backpacks of girls from the archaeological group. Shmok was promised a scientific article in the regional newspaper "P … yes Communism" (no, it was previously called "Truth of Communism", but after changing the party's policy, they simply removed the extra letters from the cliché (for example,for example, the ARS nightclub appeared from the Krasnoarmeets cinema), it turned out free, in a new and even intriguing way …) and two wheels for his Bucket car, which was the pride of the Italian car industry half a century ago. Girls-enthusiasts and a graduate student nicknamed "Drishch" are promised fives per session and exemption from studies for the entire summer excavation season, plus free port "Three Axes" as sponsorship from the administration …plus free port "Three Axes" as sponsorship from the administration …plus free port "Three Axes" as sponsorship from the administration …
The excavations were carried out according to the traditional technology, all things dug out of the former garbage dump were carefully sorted: coins of the Soviet and "Nikolashka" period were discarded ("accidentally fell into the cultural layer during seismic shifts of soil layers on the mainland platform"), incomprehensible shards (from broken tableware times of the gulag archipelago), and pieces of rust (from old pliers) were folded into the right box, they will be proof of a terribly high culture in those terribly primitive times!
The indigenous population gladly participated in the excavations, pointing out new ancient burials unknown to science for port wine, among which there were two cesspools of the Stone Age (since nothing was found there except for broken bricks), which somewhat spoiled the ecological situation in the area, so these areas of excavation had to be preserved until better times, and local jokers were heaped with pendels so as not to reveal the foul-smelling historical secrets of their town …
Another loud sensation, this time in the world of paleontology, was the finding by an archaeological group of the remains of the bones of an ancient animal unknown to science (consisting of a mixture of chicken, rat and cat bones), which has even been named Shmokoshpak habilis, in honor of the names of the famous scientist? who reconstructed its skeleton for the first time, and the scientist's neighbor who predicted for the first time that Shmok would still accomplish something great! The second part in the title denotes the word “skillful” in Latin, because in order for the reconstructed “something” to be able to move, you still need to be able to! And also because the first part in the scientific name can be anything, but the second must be in Latin to confirm the scientific name of the name, since the Latin language is the Esperanto of the "scientific world", and, in general, this is correct,because the same beast in a neighboring collective farm could be called "scum", and in some Mozambique it was "moody", but as soon as you add Shmokoshpak habilis to this name, slightly flaunting in Latin, it will become clear to everyone who it is.
Shmok was a cultured man, therefore, according to the subject of the hero of the occasion, he immediately determined that his famous master of the Stradivari violin had sculpted, but the shape, of course, raised doubts, although at the evening conference, after another dose of "three axes", "Drishch" said that form it is most likely … a drum and the rest of the band, being in working order, supported this assumption. The rest of mankind was just lucky that archaeologists discovered a hemp field too late, otherwise the creative "Drishch" would probably have put forward a more meaningful assumption … In the end, even Vzyatkobratov, who had stopped by the fire with an inspection check, agreed that "Stradevara made violins for suckers, and for real boys she made DRUMS!"
… and at a strategically convenient observation post, grandfather Nikifor Stradaltsev enjoyed observing the archaeological bacchanalia, and, squinting wisely, thought to himself: “So this is where Varka, an infection, a titanium moonshine still snuck away … and you go, you didn’t admit that you were dying … chavoyt … and if she were a horse, I will hand over the nychka to my brother on the other side, he, tsarsnbesnae, certainly not to chyamu …"
And two decades later, Drishchenko, who became an honored candidate of sciences, defended his doctoral dissertation on the topic "The culture of 'drums from stradevari' as the basis for the formation of Scythian culture" and the existence of this culture became "an indisputable historical fact …"
I can already hear the angry hiss "he's mocking us!" or "it is clear that there are so few views, how can you read THIS at all …". Yes, you’re right, I’m mocking … but in no case at the readers, you have been bullied for at least eight years already, teaching, without thinking, to memorize mocking nonsense generated by someone drunk out of impotent anger and despair.
Fear not the one who, wearing a clown mask, says, grimacing, the truth, but the one who is in a tailcoat with a smart look, straightening his glasses, making fun of himself and scratching his nose, carries nonsense with a serious look.
I constantly come across a childishly naive belief that "historians" are such knights in white, with a sober head and a pure heart, scrupulously conducting experiments in clean offices, confirming the historical accuracy and dating, and on excavations, with a bunch of expensive modern equipment, tweezers and microscopes investigating the most complex turns of events in history on barely visible traces, like the real Dersu Uzala, as well as keeping the most accurate historical manuscripts for thousands of years, from which at any second they can extract all the necessary documentary accurate information about any event that happened since the time of the dinosaurs … especially zealous lovers of such infantile children's performances AT LEAST TIME TO GO TO ARCHAEOLOGICAL EXCAVATIONS, you will hardly rest, but you will tan, lose weight, grow a liver, hear enough of such nonsense,that the words "history" and "schizophrenia" will become synonyms for you, get to know good ordinary people who, by 90%, give birth to an official story for you with naked enthusiasm, and … in the end, you will part with childhood illusions.
Archeology is fun, hard, interesting, with fantasy, but in no case has anything to do with any accuracy (even approximate, everything is very relative and depends to a large extent on the conditions of occurrence of the "artifacts", material and initial state) and even more so documentary …
The concept of "culture" before bullying is illogical, it simply implies that on some hypothetical territory there are quite often some objects that are difficult to decompose, and they find them pointwise, and the contour on the "historical maps" is drawn, outlining the extreme points with a large margin to be sure. And also "culture" means that ALL the territory circled on the map is inhabited … by one people. How does it look when applied to modern realities?
The territory of Russia at the moment is a dump of Chinese consumer goods, so archaeologists digging in the territory of Russia in a couple of hundred years will believe that entirely … Chinese lived in this territory. Inscriptions in Cyrillic will try to read Chinese and, opposing the resulting nonsense, will fantasize violently with terrible force. The found skulls will be restored "according to the Gerasimov method" with certainly slanted eyes and black straight hair, while once again assuring that the skulls of the murdered were allegedly restored using this method and through them they were able to expose more than one hundred murderers just the day before yesterday. The culture of "Chinese consumer goods" will be superimposed on the cultures of "Turkish fur coats", "Egyptian hookahs", and "golden chains with crosses" found in the burial grounds of a mysterious civilization.known in Chinese sources as "brother-ki" … But, of course, they all lived at different times for half a millennium each, and the alien culture cut out ALL the previous population to zero and populated the conquered territory with a snap of fingers …
So, we figured out the cultures, and now the most delicious are the "Scythians" and "the ancient peoples of the Scythian group." To have something to think about, take a closer look at the following photo:
These are "Scythians", that is, "Tatars" (not "Tartars", namely "Tatars"), that is, those whom we have been taught to consider "Scythians", and the Scythians themselves, that is, real Scythians, live in a completely different place, but we can say, in the same cultural, ethnographic and religious space with, again, real Tatars …
Continued: Part 2. Tribes
Author: SKUNK69
