To solve the theoretical and practical problems of pedagogy and the theory of human management, it would be interesting, at least in general terms, to trace the age stages of the formation and development of certain needs of a developing personality.
1. Childhood
The first weeks of a newborn child's life are characterized by the absence of even the most primitive "I" (J. Piaget) (Fig. 1).
He is neither a Square, nor a Circle, nor a Zigzag, nor a Triangle.
He is nobody …
In the coordinates of psychogeometry, such a child can be depicted as a point.
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He sleeps in his bed, eats, stains his diapers, gets a little naughty when he is late with food or changing diapers. And that's all …
Parents cannot communicate or play with him.
The third month of life: the emergence of a "complex of revitalization" when communicating with adults - "immediate emotional response." Elements of emotional behavior ("roundness"). The child begins to actively examine those around him, smile at his mother, enjoy the bright toys that he can reach (Fig. 2). During this period, he develops emotionality. And parents need to talk and communicate with him on an emotional level: smile, tickle him lightly, enjoy him …
If during this period the emotional contact of the child with the parents is not developed, then at other periods of life it will be very difficult to compensate. The deficit of emotional communication, as, probably, its excess, have a decisive influence on the mental development of the child during this period (M. Lisitsina).
Figure: 2. Development of the child in the first six months of life.
A little later, the act of grasping and manipulative object-oriented actions is formed. Direct emotional communication fades into the background; the child is busy with objects and actions with them. There is a formation of "practical intelligence", "sensory intelligence" (J. Piaget).
Verbal forms of communication are intensively developing as a means of business contacts with adults. As soon as the child masters crawling and walking, the elements of “zigzagging” appear, the need arises to explore the world around him.
A one and a half year old child already masters the vertical gait well and has a strong need to familiarize himself with the world around him (Fig. 3). And parents definitely need to help him in this.
Figure: 3. The development of a child in a year and a half of his life (the need to study the world around him).
For example, a child really wants to get acquainted with a crystal, beautiful, expensive Czech vase.
And, having seen such a need, you in no way should stop it. Immediately put him on your knees, hold the vase in your hands, allowing him to look at it closely and touch it.
He looked, touched, and she would no longer interest him.
Personally, my family had a problem getting to know the hot iron. The child wanted to get to know him. And when does the iron appear? When the laundry is ironed. When the iron is hot.
And the screeching starts in the apartment: “Take the child away !!! He will burn himself !!!"
That's what to shout, why limit the child's contact with the iron?
After all, he will get it someday.
We put him on our knees, hold a hot iron in our hands, take a small palm in our hand and lightly touch his finger to the hot surface. And we say: Uuuu … The iron is hot …
What did you not feel? Well then, a little longer finger on the iron. Didn't you feel it again? Well, let's go even longer."
The child felt the heat of the surface of the iron. He took his hand away and said: "Don't."
That's it, he got acquainted with the iron.
The second major problem was familiarity with needles. Again the squealing of relatives: “Take the needle away from the child !!! He will swallow it !!!.
We put the child on our knees again. We take a palm with one hand, and a needle in the other. “Well, on… on… a needle” - we say to him and lightly prick our palm. He squeaks.
"Well, what don't you take?" - we say to him and prick again. Bigger squeak.
Three or four such contacts of a child with a sharp needle are enough and he will no longer fit it.
And here (as a budding dad), I made a big oversight. With my spinal cord, I felt that my nimble child also needed to be introduced to electricity. I felt, I knew … but the intellect, how to do it, was not enough.
And in a strange city, in a strange apartment, late in the evening, my son plugs a hairpin into an outlet, he is electrocuted, the light is cut off, and the whole family sat in the dark until after a long search they found and replaced the plugs.
Matches were my second mistake. And I quickly realized this when my son burned the broom of the janitor who was sweeping in the yard of the house. And she came to us with a scandal.
"Son …" - I said - "What are you, like a savage who has never seen matches." "And what, do you allow me to take them and light them?" Was his answer.
“Come on…” - I said, took him into the bathroom, put a basin of water downstairs, gave him a box of matches and showed him: “You light it like this…, hold it until it burns out, and like this you throw it into a basin of water”. The child started lighting matches and his hands were shaking with happiness.
And two days later, we drove out of town, in a forest belt near the highway, lit a fire, and I gave him two boxes of matches to burn himself.
It turned out that not only I am raising my son, he also teaches me wisdom from time to time. It was during this period that the fundamental family principle was formed when communicating with his son: “Everything is allowed !!! The only thing that is prohibited is to harm others and harm yourself !!!”.
For example, it is allowed to climb trees, but not the frail plants in the courtyard of the house, but the mighty oak trees standing in a deserted area of the beach.
Do not wet your feet. I came from the street with wet feet, caused harm to my health - get it in the ass.
Such a clear family principle (and not the prohibition of "everything and always") - well debugs the relationship between children and parents.
At the age of six, the "age of play" is clearly manifested - a special form of child behavior, which, thanks to special techniques ("role play"), simulates the relationship between people and things. The manifestation of artistic needs and abilities takes place at a fairly high level ("roundness").
I am far from thinking that I was an ideal father for my son, but the fact that the game allowed solving many problems is unambiguous. For example, my son was terribly afraid of water. And in the summer his authoritarian "triangular-rounded" mother grabbed and dragged him into the sea. And he fought back, shouted: "Save, help …". With tears, he crawled ashore and again sat for hours under the bright sun, waiting until he was again dragged into the water with a bunch of negative emotions.
The first thing I did was buy him a nice children's inflatable ring. And he carried it on himself the whole evening. The next day I took him from kindergarten and took him to Zaton.
But on the beach he categorically forbade him to wet his feet. A small, playful imp immediately spanked on the water. "What have you done? !!" I cried. - "Now you will have wet feet !!!". "Well, okay, only my knees are not urine." The devil immediately sat down, and his knees became wet. Then there was a prohibition to wet your pants, go into the water waist-deep, wet your chest and shoulders.
Then we played "steamer", when I, slapping my palms on the water, pretended to be a steamer, and he, vigorously dangling his legs, helped me, firmly holding onto my neck. After that they changed places, and I already played the pusher, from time to time, pushing him away from me. He, of course, squeaked, and, wriggling with his whole body, tried to swim towards me.
Half an hour passed since we arrived at the beach. After sitting a little under the sun, my son got up, put on an inflatable ring on his own and went to the water.
I lay and imperceptibly spied on what he would do next. And he stood, stood, stood, and suddenly began to enter the water and, wriggling like a worm, swam to the buoy. I didn’t interfere. Some man interfered, who, seeing such an unusual swimming technique, dragged him to the shore.
Twenty minutes of play outweighed the years of authoritarian pedagogy when the child was forced to bathe.
The game was also very helpful in eating soup during lunch. This game was called "Fly", which flew around the kitchen and cunningly ate a spoonful of soup, which I waved in front of the face of the mischievous imp.
Games are widely used by teachers of kindergartens, schools, institutes to teach their pupils. Some scholars, considering game learning from a historical and methodological point of view, put forward the proposal that play "in fact can be the dominant technology of education" (SF Zanko et al., 1992).
End of preschool age. The need to study, to become a schoolboy. The need for communication and the desire to perform activities that are meaningful to others (elements of "squareness"). By this period, the child has become a person (“artistic personality”) (Fig. 5) and he begins to be attracted by the third function - “to be like an adult” (Fig. 4). And parents again need to help him in this.
You go for a family walk in nature, dad must have a backpack with heavy things, mom a smaller backpack with clothes, a child - a small backpack at least for his toys. Prepare a picnic in nature - dad collects firewood, mom arranges food, the child also has a task: to collect branches for a fire and put them on the fire.
And let these branches be small, and he clumsily supports the fire - he will be proud of his help to adults. And this is the main thing.
Figure: 4. Child development at 5-6 years old (need to be like an adult).
Figure: 5. The artistry of a 5-6 year old child.
2. School age
Primary classes. The emergence of a more stable form of personality and worldview, new rights and responsibilities. Beginning of engaging in socially significant activities. The emergence of the authority and influence of the teacher. The need to “do what is pleasing to others”, “to be like everyone else” (“roundness” and the need to establish itself in its third function - “squareness”).
Completion of primary school age. The final formation of inner speech; mastering your thought processes. The need for approval from comrades. A large number of interests ("zigzag").
Figure: 6. Development of a teenager at 13-14 years old (need to be cool).
Adolescence. The age of the discovery of one's "I", the formation of personality, the formation of a worldview; “Growing into culture”. The need for self-affirmation, for gaining authority and recognition from comrades (the need for affirmation in its third function - "triangularity"). The need for independence, "adulthood" (L. Bozovic).
It was during this period that the teenager departs from the interests of the family and more significant "luminaries" appear in him. And to assert itself in the eyes of these "luminaries" ("to be cool"), to enter their closest social circle, becomes the next need of a teenager. It will be a disaster for the family if the guy asserts himself in the alley by smoking, swear words, drunkenness, fights; and the girl with short skirts, booze and vulgar behavior.
The only opportunity for a teenager to assert themselves beautifully in this difficult age period is sports. Nowadays there are many sports schools and sports where a teenager can show his physical abilities and become a winner. It did not work out in one kind of sports activity - there are other kinds of sports. And numerous competitions for children and girls of this age, up to the Youth Olympic Games.
Moreover, good sports results must already be reached before the age of 14, when every teenager discovers an increased interest in people of the opposite sex. It is at the age of 14-15 that a powerful outflow of youth is observed from sports. And it is desirable for the sports committees of cities to provide interesting programs of competitive activity for this particular contingent of youth.
Puberty; hypersexuality, interest in people of the opposite sex, makes it necessary for parents to talk to their teenagers "about it." So that later it would not be excruciatingly painful that this conversation was constantly postponed "for later."
Somewhere, at the age of 15, after my retort about "sexual illiteracy," my son said with some kind of mockery: "Come on, father, give me a lecture about sex." I immediately began to talk about women's cycles, about the fact that in the first and last days of these cycles …
The son suddenly became serious and interrupted me: “Stop! … . I ran, brought a notebook and a fountain pen and began to take notes on what I was saying.
Tell me, what could I tell him if he took notes for almost an hour? - All!!! It turned out that at this age they (adolescents) do not know anything worthwhile "about it". And they receive their primitive information among the same peers. And a frank, adult conversation between a parent and his child (father with son; mother with daughter) can prevent many subsequent mistakes in life.
Senior school age. Formation of a scientific and moral outlook. The need to follow a certain moral model ("squareness"). Educational and professional activity according to D. Elkonin. Preparation for admission to the institute for further education.
3. Adulthood, maturity, old age
For the first time truly "cool" for a boy and a girl there is an opportunity to become during their wedding. When the most beautiful at the banquet is the bride; the happiest and most beautiful is the groom. This bright event is unforgettable for young spouses: they receive many gifts, toasts of the most honored guests sound in their honor, they receive a room or apartment as their property, and go on a honeymoon trip. They will be truly "cool" at 35, but on their wedding day they are infinitely happy and everyone envies them.
But then a child is born, and this radically changes their life. The little man does not bring "zigzag", "artistry", "coolness", and especially "squareness" to his parents' life. He requires "service", "cordiality", selfless "love" (Fig. 7).
Figure: 7. The development of a person at the birth of a child.
Of course, love appeared in the communication of two young people long before the birth of a child. But there it was caused by sex hormones. And here it manifests itself in its pure form, and forms the assemblage point of energies already in the region of the heart. That love, when a person, without hesitation, is ready to sacrifice life, career, health, for the sake of his child. Show love, service and care for the little man who only eats, sleeps and stains diapers.
And also show tremendous patience in servicing and raising a child who, in a few months, will demonstrate his individual character and annoy his parents. In addition to love, parents begin to form as quickly as possible "squareness" and pedantry in feeding, treatment, in performing hygiene procedures and when walking in the fresh air. And later in teaching your child (Fig. 8).
Figure: 8. Human development while raising your child.
"Squareness" is required in work, in solving family disputes, when communicating in large teams. Initially, there is an addiction to work; desire to live with the requirements of the team ("roundness"). Further, the need to express oneself in work ("triangularity"), creativity ("zigzag"). Self-sacrifice in work ("service"). And, ultimately, strict compliance with the established requirements prescribed in labor legislation ("squareness").
At the age of thirty, there is a reassessment of their life goals; possible change of profession (P. Massen), sometimes divorce from a spouse ("zigzag").
"Midlife crisis" (40–45 years old). The discrepancy between plans for life and reality. Having emotionally painful thoughts. Liberation from illusions. Impulsiveness gives way to more mature and free creativity. The problem of diminishing physical strength.
Pre-retirement age. Inability (in some individuals) to emotionally return in relation to new people and new occupations. Decreased artistic and creative possibilities. Increasing rigidity in looks and actions; stagnation (E. Erickson); closeness of mind to new ideas; intolerance, fanaticism. Inability to creatively solve problems (ossified "squareness"), bureaucracy.
Retirement age. The emergence of free time, new interests, new types of pastime ("zigzag"). Reformulation of life goals. Spouse, friends and children are becoming more and more important than their own "I" ("service"). Attempts to expand their influence on the process of raising children and grandchildren in the family ("triangularity").
Next comes stabilization, the reformulation of goals within a more realistic and restrained point of view. One's own “I” is increasingly losing its exclusive position. There is a growing tendency to be content with what is; a distinct tendency to feel good about one's position. Rounding the body; the emergence of evangelical notes in behavior. Orientation to enduring human values: "treat people the way you want them to treat you." Health problems and preparation for the transition to another world.
Figure: 9. Human development in old age.
Summary. Considering (even in the roughest outlines) a person's life, we cannot fail to note the stages when emotions (childhood), the need for novelty (the end of primary school age) and leadership (adolescence), as well as in order (old age) prevail. And at the same time, within each of these large stages, one can distinguish time intervals when there is a clear tendency to get along with people, achieve some kind of success, change the situation, and put things in order. And if we analyze one day in a person's life, we are again faced with the solution of four problems: getting along with the world around us; find something interesting and explore; manage, do something, establish yourself in this world; establish a mutually beneficial order.
If a person is more or less accustomed to solving the four main problems, has successfully passed the "learning by life", then in old age we observe a "wise", as a rule, a grandfather, or a "heart man", which is most often manifested among grandmothers (Fig. 9).
Literature
1. Tomilin, K. G. Fundamentals of professional communication in physical culture and sports: Textbook. Part 1 / K. G. Tomilin. - Sochi: RIC FGBOU VPO "SSU", 2014. - 128 p.
2. Tomilin, K. G. Social psychology: typology, communication, management: Methodical recommendations / K. G. Tomilin. - Chelyabinsk: ChOO "Knowledge of Russia", 2004. - 53 p.
3. Tomilin, K. G. Management of recreational activities at water resorts: Monograph / K. G. Tomilin. - 2nd ed. break. and add. - Sochi: RIO SGUTiKD, 2009.-- 184 p.
Author: Konstantin Tomilin
