A young by today's standards, a girl in her 20s who only dreamed of a wedding was considered useless in Russia. Not getting married on time, a woman received the stigma "old maid", and with it social isolation. After the death of her parents, she entered the house of her older brother and became a hanger, a free servant. In such conditions, I had to live out my life.
Where did the ugly nickname "unstoppable hair" come from?
In Russia, girls were married off as early as possible. Twelve to fifteen year old brides were commonplace. Today they are middle school girls, and before they were brides capable of becoming a good wife and mother. There was an opinion that a very young girl would obey her husband in everything, work honestly, take care of children. In other words, the younger, the more agreeable.
At the age of 18-20, the parents still had a chance to marry their daughter, who had sat up in girls, but if this did not happen for several years, the terrible stigma “old maid” stuck to the woman forever. It is known that in Russia such women were called vekovukhi, and a nickname arose from the phrase "vene century." But there is another strange nickname for old maidens - "unstoppable hair."
According to Russian tradition, the young bride was put on a scarf before the wedding, which belonged to a married woman. At the same time, the bridesmaids sang mournful songs about the end of the girl's age, about the family sorrows that now await the girl. For old maidens, such songs were never performed, and in such a situation, their hair was not covered with a headscarf. That's where the nickname comes from.
The old maid could not wear a headscarf or any headdress worn by married women. They walked with their heads bare. The older the old maid got, the more gray hair she had, so another derogatory nickname "gray head" was walking across Russia.
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Not to girls, not to women - where is the old maid to go?
How did society treat the old maidens after all? It was all very sad. Young girls shied away from the ages, believing in the omen that they could be infected with loneliness and never get married. But after all, the age of old maids or overdone was also not particularly suitable for youth parties. What was she talking about with the young, what was the point of participating in funny games?
Only married women remained. But they were not eager to communicate with the ages. After all, those were not married, they have no children, they are not able to understand family relations. Why would a married woman have such a friend? So the "gray tops" became a kind of social outcasts. Not realizing as a woman - not getting married and not having a child, the old maidens were not just a "barren flower", as the married woman was called, but without children, but generally it is not clear who. They were spoken of as “neither be nor me”, “neither this nor that”.
Calling themselves "unstoppable hair", the venevukha had no right to wear hats intended for married people. She needed to dress according to her unenviable position. And if cheerful young girls could afford bright colors and styles, then the old maid put on things of a dark, discreet color, completely hiding the figure.
Such women could not even think about jewelry. Ageless? She could not get married, like all normal girls - then there is nothing to decorate herself, it is not appropriate for an old, useless virgin. Beautiful earrings and necklaces, hair bands, bracelets - all these cute accessories remained for young unmarried girls who were in the process of looking for a groom. So the old maidens walked, in dark clothes, with hair braided in a braid and without decorations, trying not to attract attention to themselves.
Almost a witch or a devil's mistress
Not only was society not particularly fond of old maidens, but also various signs and rituals made their life harder, already not sweet. Fearing the bad influence of the ages, over-olds were not allowed to do basic things, for example, bake bread, fry and steam for a wedding dinner, take part in festivities, dance and sing. They were forbidden to appear in the field on the first day of the harvest, so as not to spoil the future harvest. Vekovukhe could not be present during childbirth. They were not allowed to give birth to animals - they could not accept calves or sheep.
A kind of social terror led to the fact that the old maidens became embittered, hating everything and everyone. And from here there was a backlash - they tried to blame them for all the unpleasant events, they were called witches. They said that the age-old can be able to conjure, to induce damage. And they even attributed to her sexual relations with evil spirits, with which she allegedly compensated for the lack of male affection. They tried to protect themselves from the old maid. The bed could be sprinkled with poppy seeds or sprinkled with holy water, the hut where she lived could be fumigated with incense.
Particularly humiliating was the custom of putting on an unfortunate woman a special amulet to protect her against witchcraft. It was a belt made of priest's robe.
If you want respect, become big
Where was the old maid to go? It was unrealistic to build your own house and live in it - and there would not be enough strength to do it alone, and endless gossip would go about who the lonely maiden accepts in this house. Most often, the vekovukha stayed with the parents, who fed, watered and tolerated their daughter. But they are not eternal, and after their departure, the spinster went to the disposal of her older brother, became a hanger and was used as free labor. Doing laundry, looking after nephews, working in the barn, in the field, and so on. I had to forget about entertainment and fun forever.
There were, of course, the virgins who managed to rectify the situation. But for this it was necessary to have an iron character, ingenuity, excellent health and remarkable economic abilities. If this happened, then the venerable could gain respect in the family. She took the reins of the household into her own hands, looked after old parents, and thus increased her social status. These women were called "Bolshoi", they were not mocked, they did not tolerate humiliation, they were not reproached with a piece of bread. However, these are rare cases. Most often, the spinster was a downtrodden and silent creature, since mostly ugly and poor health girls did not get married. It was almost impossible for such people to break into the "big".