Why can't you save on yourself? How to build a relationship with a man so that he is happy to spend on you and only become wealthier? Why shouldn't a child who asks to buy him a toy be answered: "No money!"
We recently came across one funny book about the life of millionaires. And the story about the founder of IKEA struck most of all in it. One of the richest people in the world, he turns out to be a monstrous miser! Has been driving for about 20 years on a well-worn car. Sitting in the same worn-out chair for more than 30 years. He stays only in cheap hotels and there always actively pays off on the breakfast included in the price, so as not to spend money on food during the day …
Once at the opening of one of his stores in Russia, he went out to customers and began to put their purchases in packages with his own hand. Looking at the old man in a shabby jacket, one compassionate aunt from the line began to admonish her son: “If you don’t do your homework, you’ll start, like that grandfather, to pack purchases for strangers in old age”. She would have known that this humble packer is 11th on the Forbs list.
But there is another way of looking at the situation. So, for example, many esotericists argue that the easier we spend, the more we get. And also: "Big money cannot come to a person who believes that he is worth little." So what to do so that money is kept in our country and not transferred? We asked this and other questions to two completely different people: a clairvoyant and a psychologist, a woman and a man. And here's what is interesting: on many points their views coincided. Judge for yourself…
1. Someone strenuously saves money, counting every penny, and someone easily litters them, sincerely believing that the more money you throw down the drain, the more money it will bring later. So how is it correct?
Vyacheslav Ilyin, psychologist, gestalt therapist:
- Both increased economy and rampant spending are neurotic behavior. This has nothing to do with real, useful savings. This is more like some kind of superstition: "If a coin goes head-to-head, it will be good, but if it heads up, it will be bad." Our fears, some parental covenants sometimes lead to the fact that we unconsciously perform certain rituals. Some ritually save, while others ritually spend. For money to be found and not transferred, you need to respect it. Not to despise, not to bow before them, namely to respect.
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2. Soon New Year. How to give gifts to loved ones? Is it appropriate to save on them?
Natalia Vesna, clairvoyant:
- A person receives a gift, and with it new emotions, sensations, feelings. And every time he looks at this gift, he will remember us. This means that through the gifts that we present, we receive a colossal charge of energy. When buying a gift, it is very important to think: "How can I please the one to whom I am giving?" Not "What will be useful to him in life?", But "What will he be happy about?" The longer this object exists, the longer we will be able to receive energy through it.
If a person pays with joy, new financial opportunities open up for him. And from the word "save", as well as "spend", the financial flow narrows. What does the word "spend" mean? To lose, to lose. I suggest we stop wasting money. We will invest them from today. Including gifts.
Vyacheslav Ilyin:
- Don't skimp on relationships. And if a gift is a substitute for relationships and the only way to "give" something that we have no other way to give, then it is not worth saving. But it's still better to find a way to enrich the relationship in person, rather than through gifts. If the relationship itself is rich, then the problem of the high cost or cheapness of the gift will not arise.
3. In Russia there has never been a cult of economy, thrifty people have always been disliked, calling them misers and misers. In Europe, people are much more pragmatic. Although many Europeans have more money than we do, few live on a grand scale. If tomorrow we start to follow the example of foreigners and start saving hard, will our life improve? Or maybe we just won't succeed?
Vyacheslav Ilyin:
- Most likely, we will not be able to become economical en masse. Not so long ago in our country, wealthy people were dispossessed and shot. Being rich in the Soviet Union was in general akin to betrayal. The instincts that we inherited from our ancestors say that getting rich is dangerous. Until the fear of the past dissolves in the unconscious memory of descendants, there will not be a massive change in attitudes towards money. From my point of view, true economy is when you bought a quality item and it will be useful to you later.
4. Life example: a young, professional, but single woman. Good earnings, money flows like a river. But as soon as she got married, her income fell sharply, and financial problems began. Has the law really worked: “Somewhere it has arrived, but somewhere has gone away”? Maybe that's why many rich people are not very happy in their personal lives?
Natalya Vesna:
- Sometimes a person is sad because he does not have something. And in a state of sadness gives energy. Therefore, it is very important to be grateful for everything we have: family, work, car, home. And if we have something, but do not appreciate it, do not rejoice, we already refuse it in advance. And we can lose what we do not thank. A man lives in his apartment and dreams, for example, of a summer residence. And he constantly complains: "How hard it is to live in the city." And suddenly the apartment burns down, and the dream of a summer residence comes true. But at what cost?
Vyacheslav Ilyin:
- Money does not come and go by itself. As long as we consider them to be an element, we pray to them, whisper incantations and do not fully realize our own role in managing cash flow. And how we manage our economy depends on our needs. But sometimes we don't even realize these needs. And sometimes we try to compensate for the lack of love or intimacy with material wealth. If we receive enough love, there may be no strong need for welfare. So this situation is quite possible: love came - money began to evaporate.
5. Psychologists believe that in order to achieve the goal that he has set for himself, a person should want this average: not very much (then he will worry, and this will interfere), but not very weak (so he just does nothing will not be). In general, the motivation should be moderate. Is this approach fair?
Natalya Vesna:
- Desire is an order. If it does not go to the level of intention, then it is not carried out. Ask a person what he wants, and he will answer: “I want me to have a family, have a husband, have children”. And all were, all in the past tense. Saying "I want it to be," we give up the good that we dream about. A person must translate desire into intention, one must say: "I already have, I feel, I am doing … Already!" So you need to want and say. This is the speech of the creator.
Vyacheslav Ilyin:
- Too strong desire can be a sign of neurotic addiction. If this is so, then the person is not very aware of his goals, and he cannot plan how to achieve these goals. He is overexcited, performs some chaotic actions, he himself does not really understand what he needs, and he does not really succeed.
6. One of the famous people said: "If a woman saves on herself, it makes a man want only - to save on her." How to build a relationship with a man correctly, so as not to ruin him and not offend yourself?
Natalya Vesna:
- A man is a frame, and a woman is a diamond. Popular wisdom says: "The more a man invests in his woman, the more chances that they will be together for many years." Conversely, the more needs a woman has, the more opportunities a man has. But you cannot endlessly demand something from a man, you need to become a muse for him, an inspiration. Inspired - get what you want!
7. We often tell children in response to their requests to buy another toy: "No money!" Is it correct?
Natalya Vesna:
“It's dangerous to do that. Because the child develops a stereotype: there is money, but not for him. He also sees that you are making some other purchases. You need to say this: “We have money, but let's think with you, how can we spend it? Let's consult with the whole family: how much do you really need this toy? If he really needs her, he will remember her. Not needed - he will forget.
Vyacheslav Ilyin:
- Such phrases draw the child's attention to money and give rise to that very superstitious attitude. When parents cheat their children, not withstanding their pressure, they hide behind an external cause. And, without realizing it, they teach the child not to take responsibility for their behavior. It's more honest to say: “No, I won't buy you a toy now,” without making excuses.