Daddy with eggs
Most of all the curiosities associated with the printing business, we had before - when this business, still filled with a certain magic, everyone took much more seriously than now. At the very end of the stagnation, from all newspaper reports on party forums, the word "ovation" suddenly disappeared, which had previously flashed there constantly: "Stormy applause from the audience, turning into a standing ovation."
And there and then the following explanation spread through the editorial corridors. The word "ovation", as one learned from the Old Square got to the bottom, goes back to the Latin "ovum" - that is, an egg. And the meaning of the great applause for the derivative from this root was fixed like this.
Back in the distant Middle Ages, a woman insidiously infiltrated the place of the Pope, hiding her real gender under her clothes. When this blasphemy was revealed after her death, the scandal for the entire Vatican was terrible. And so that this would not happen again, the clerics came up with such an addition to the rite of establishing their land father.
The Chosen Pope sits on a dais on a chair with a hole in the bottom, under which the cardinals pass with their eyes raised. Everyone sees that the Pope has what he needs, and in order to prove it, they exclaim: "Papa cum ovis!" - which means: "Dad with eggs!"
With joy for the happy ending of the official part and in anticipation of the upcoming banquet, they applaud in unison - hence the word "ovation". The discovery of the Chaldean scientist was brought to the right place, after which the frivolous term was banned by a secret circular.
Typo
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Today a typo is ugh, no one will even pay attention. And before, for a typo in the party newspaper, heads flew in bunches. And somehow, in Pravda, even more holy than the Pope, a photograph was being prepared for publication: a married couple is standing on the seashore next to a brand new Moskvich.
And the signature: "So-and-so won the Moskvich car in the lottery and now every weekend goes with his wife to the seashore." And then we used the so-called "hot print": each line was cast on a linotype, then a layout designer on a thaler put the lines into columns and stripes. And the release of the newspaper, associated with abundant editing, was a very laborious task. Correct one character - you need to pour the whole line; to remove a word in a paragraph - to pour over the entire paragraph.
One failure, inconsistent edit-to-edit, and the newspaper could freeze. A whole emergency - because the fresh issue was already waiting for trains, planes, phototelegraph, thousands of people involved in the process. Therefore, there were strict laws of editing: who, how and when can make it. And the editor on duty thought that the caption for that photo was too long, and he decided to replace the word "goes" with "drives."
But the signature was in two lines, part of the word "sent" - on the top line, the other - on the bottom. He crossed out the first part, writing "rides" above it. And I forgot about the second one in the park. After him, it was no longer supposed to rule, so no one began to delve into, the upper drain was poured, the lower one remained. And the newspaper came out with the following caption: "So-and-so won the Moskvich car in the lottery and now every weekend he and his wife go to the seashore."
The absence of a soft sign in the seditious word did not save, everyone grabbed the meaning of it. And simply, in those days, they were crying: those who were not involved - from laughter, the duty team - with the most burning tears.
Poem of love
Pasha Gutiontov, the correspondent of the then Komsomolskaya Pravda, laughed even harder. He fell in love to death in his youth, right up to the marriage proposal to the girl. But her father, a former military man, was outright against it - and somehow so rudely dismissed the lover that he decided to take severe revenge. And in his hearts he composed a whole poem about the offender-old man, swearing on the mat.
I persuaded a familiar typesetter to type it, put out a bubble for the typesetter, and that's what intrigue they did. According to that “hot” technology, from the strips laid out on the taler, an imprint was made onto cardboard, from which the circulation was printed in a huge rotary machine that shook the floor. And the entire set in metal was thrown out for remelting - but then the layout designer just threw out some editorial from the front page, stuck in obscene verses instead.
And I skated a few of the most real-looking newspaper issues: orders, name, some kind of "compote" about the sowing - and then a mat on the mat. The vengeful groom took one such copy to the address of the hero of the publication and put it in his mailbox. He takes out a newspaper, begins to read - and almost faints: such a dirty trick - and for the whole country!
After a bit oklemovshis, he grabs the phone - and calls directly to the KGB reception. There, at first, they just laugh at him, like a madman, but they still send the scurry "on the fact of conversion." At first, he also has eyes on his forehead from such an ideological sabotage - but then everything, of course, becomes clear. By the way, this time there were no draconian reprisals against anyone.
Pasha was only demoted for a month in his post - and then he was completely forgiven.
Wheel of life
Someone else in those years came up with the following formula for the overlapping life of a journalist: “The more you work, the more you get. The more you get, the more you drink. You drink more, you work less. The less you work, the less you get. The less you get, the less you drink. The less you drink, the more you work. The more you work, the more you get. You get more - you drink more. And so everything again in a hopeless circle.
Satan's sign
This striking incident was told to me today by the director of a large Moscow department store. In due time they opened a book trade - and together with other books they brought in a batch of Bibles. Well-bound, on coated paper, obviously not for the poor. But according to the laws of the market, God's word is the same product with the same trade margin.
Moreover, in large stores, it is determined automatically - by the type of item, the demand for it, the warehouse cost, and so on. All these data are entered into the computer, and according to its program, it gives out the retail price, which is printed on paper-price tags. Everything was exactly the same with the Bible: the price tag stuck to it - and she went to her counter.
He lies there for himself, lies - and suddenly the saleswoman of the book department comes running to the director with a pale face. He leads to his department - and there goose bumps involuntarily run down the director's back. Since the price tags of that Bible is: 666 p. That is, the number of the beast, Satan - which, by combining a lot of data, was given out, like a thinking one, by a computer.
And people, absorbed in their trade, missed this satanic seal - and then they wondered in superstitious fear: is it such a wild accident - or some non-random sign?
Alexander Roslyakov