E. Bern understands a script as a psychological force that pulls a person towards his destiny, regardless of whether he considers it a free choice or violently resists it.
The scenario has a huge energy charge. All scenarios are tragic and have three outcomes: hospital, prison, grave. The person in the script resembles an actor who is essentially a good person, but in this play he got the role of a villain, or a jester, or a weak, confused person. And he plays it apart from, or maybe against his will.
As you know, the scenario is formed in the first five years of life under the influence of parents or persons replacing them, and is actually a vector of inclinations and the system of education. It seems to me that the script affects the path of life, and I would determine by fate what a person should become if he could fully develop his inclinations.
That is, he must become what he must become in accordance with his abilities, talent, or genius. That is, a poet should become a poet, a musician - a musician, an artist - an artist, a mathematician - a mathematician, that is, become himself.
Man is born happy. At least this applies to patients and clients who are treated by therapeutic doctors, psychotherapists and psychologists. Leaders also deal with such people.
Perhaps you, my dear reader, are among those. I mean patients with neuroses and psychosomatic diseases, as well as those who are unlucky in this life, but with genetics they are all right.
Still, at the very beginning of your life, in order to win your right to life, you had to withstand the competition and take first place in a race with 150 million participants. (I mean the amount of sperm that a healthy man expels during one ejaculation.)
The tree, if not disturbed, grows straight up in accordance with its destiny. But even if it does not manage to grow evenly, it, bending under the obstacles, tries to get out from under them and grow up again. Plants are still better. Usually they try to grow a tomato from a tomato, and a cucumber from a cucumber.
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And only in the case of a person, they try to make an accountant from an actress, from a mathematician to a doctor, from a musician to a financier, etc. At first, parents do this, then school puts their hand, and then production, and before that a party.
And it is absolutely bad when, as a result of a formed scenario, a person himself leaves his happy fate in the direction of a scenario that will lead a person to misfortune. And then the individual himself considers the attempts of fate to return a person to happiness as a misfortune, and tries to go against his fate.
A person during his life sees up to 10, and sometimes 100, happy accidents every day, but if he is programmed for unhappiness, then he will choose the one that will lead to unhappiness.
Here I am giving an example of a woman with an alcoholic wife complex. Let me repeat it briefly. As a student, she married an alcoholic student. She ran away with her child from him to her village, where she worked as a machine operator. She married a machine operator who turned out to be an alcoholic. With two children, she ran away from him to Rostov. Settled up, settled down. I began to look for a friend of life. And every time she came across alcoholics.
Fate brought this woman to us in the following way. She was poisoned after one of the contenders for her hand and heart brought a mistress to her three-room apartment while she was on a business trip. After she was pumped out, she was transferred to us. But here, too, she liked the man who was being treated for alcoholism. He was one of 19 patients with this diagnosis. In general, we helped her, took her out of the script. Now she won't let alcoholics close to her.
Fate always signals trouble, usually signals some kind of suffering. But often people remain deaf to her voice and stubbornly continue to play their unfortunate role in their script until the logical end, that is, until the hospital, prison or grave.
But there are people with such a happy fate that it turns out to be stronger than those stupid things that they do under the influence of a script with a serious, anxious or sadly dramatic expression on their faces, and when fate takes them and does not let them into the abyss, they are also indignant, instead to thank your destiny.
And only after psychotherapeutic work, they begin to cooperate with their destiny and achieve certain successes, and sometimes also the recognition of society, or at least some part of it.
Then the past is suddenly reconstructed, and it turns out that all life becomes sheer luck. If a person is in the script, then it is as if in zugzwang: whatever he does, he loses.
When he leaves the script and begins to cooperate with destiny, then no matter what he does, he remains a happy person.
I am one of such people with a happy destiny.
When I left the script, I began to actively cooperate with her, and I reconstructed not only the past, but also the present.
Getting out of the script yourself is as difficult as pulling yourself out by your hair. Therefore, I now want to name those people who gave me their hands when I got into the twists and turns of the script. And at that time I considered them enemies.
By the time I was 15, I was the most unfortunate person in my own eyes. I had hair like a ram, eyes like a toad (as my peers teased me), thick as a pig and clumsy like a sausage (this is a characteristic of a physical education teacher).
And then I did not understand how much they did for me. If they hadn't teased me, I would have communicated with them and would have shared their mostly sad fate. I know their life stories. And then I was offended by them. Now I want to say thank you very much to them.
At this time, fate brought me together with one medical student who built a horizontal bar. Having sagged and tumbled on it, I acquired some athletic training, but still considered myself an unhappy person. I am still friends with this person. This man is now listening to my farewell speech.
I became interested in the opposite sex early. Already, when I was 11 years old, I liked one girl. But, fortunately for me, she rejected me. She chose me over another, who by the age of 50 had become an alcoholic.
I thought that she rejected me because I have few good moral qualities. I tried to acquire them, and when I acquired the necessary mental capital, I lost all interest in her. And now I want to say thank you to her for rejecting me, although then I was very worried and offended by her.
When I was 16, I was lucky again. A gift of fate. One girl did not want to date me. I know her path in life. If my fate had not intervened, but brought us together, nothing worthwhile would have come of it. Now I want to say to this girl, now a very sick and unhappy woman, thank you for rejecting me, although then I was very worried and offended by her.
When I graduated from school, I was lucky again. I was not approved with a gold medal. If I had received it, I would have entered physics and mathematics. But then I was very worried, but I should have rejoiced. Now I want to say thank you to that official, although I didn’t see him in my eyes, who didn’t approve me an A in mathematics, which my school teachers gave me.
Of course, fate protected me again. After all, according to all the information they should have given me a gold medal. After all, all 9 classes I received honorable mentions, and I had few current grades, except in Russian writing.
At the institute, I took up surgery at the Department of Operative Surgery and Topographic Anatomy. There I formed a group, and we carried out rather complex operations on dogs. By all accounts, I should have stayed in graduate school. But I was lucky again.
I was not accepted into graduate school. But then I worried and cursed everyone who could be cursed, who had a hand in this. Now I know that the fate of the one who took my place is dire. Otherwise, I would be in his place. Again, I don’t know whom I personally thank for this.
I was drafted into the army, service in which I was burdened, although now I understand that without this period my life would be incomplete. I wanted to be a surgeon, and I was promoted up the administrative ladder.
Fate gives us various gifts, but we often do not notice them. So for 2 years I have not seen my happiness point-blank in the form of one girl with whom we worked together. Thank God that fate pushed me, in the end, to her. I have become happy in my family life.
Moreover, she became my main, and sometimes the only support in my life, where I ended up as a vine. I wrapped her around so much that I can't see her at all. She even lost her last name and bears my last name. But take it away and everything will collapse.
After all, I am in essence a liana, which only she can withstand. Others only had enough strength for a few months. But you could have been happy two years earlier. True, even later I realized that I was happy and that I had a happy fate.
So, in the army I was eager for surgery, but fate again favored me that my application to the postgraduate course was simply not accepted, and my residency was also refused. Again, I don’t know who to thank. But then I considered these people my enemies.
Then I served as a senior doctor of the regiment, and then as deputy head of the hospital. Without this experience, I would not have been able to do what I am doing now. And develop your own management psychology system. This control system is still not accepted by my inner circle. And I am grateful to them for that.
I managed to implement it in more reputable institutions, where managers use this system and are very happy with it. But back to my military service. I behaved incorrectly, and after the service I went to operate. Fate then brought me to a hospital bed. I was fired from the army. And only then I realized that surgery is not mine, but only because I got sick. Thanks to fate for knocking me out of my script.
After being transferred to the reserve, I realized that the surgical career was closed for me because of what I thought was an illness, and decided to do theoretical or laboratory work in 1967.
I wanted to become a pathologist, but fate again favored me. Some official in Moscow did not approve the decision of our institute to enroll me in residency at the Department of Pathological Anatomy. I would like to thank him, but I will not be looking for him. I was worried, although I should have been happy.
Being in a suspended state, I met my classmates. Of course, my fate slipped them to me, although I can't belittle their merits. They introduced me to my Master. The case ended with my admission to a psychiatric clinic.
I would have been happy, but I went to the clinic with the mood: “Fish for fishlessness and cancer”. But fate told me even earlier that I needed to go to psychiatry. I saw the first patients under the following circumstances. On August 5, 1961, as a medalist, I was enrolled in the medical institute, and when all the applicants were still taking exams and were worried, I was sent to restore the administrative building.
There I worked together with another medalist. He understood the voice of fate and immediately went to a psychiatric circle and became a psychiatrist after graduation. I was running the script around for 12 years (6 years of study at the institute and 6 years of service in the army).
So, during the break, we looked out of the windows of this building at the courtyard of the psychiatric clinic, along which mental patients walked under the supervision of nurses. These impressions were so vivid that, having become a psychiatrist, I could make some hindsight diagnoses. But alas.
So, I came to work at the clinic, as I said, reluctantly. But literally a week later, I realized that I got where I should be. For the first time I really got carried away. And that passion was psychiatry. I wish I could only do this. But no, I still wanted to become a candidate of sciences. Without much interest, I began to deal with shit in the literal and figurative sense of the word: "Trace elements in the physiological fluids of schizophrenic patients in a defective state."
I had no interest in the topic, but it was easy to collect material, and then it was a dissertation, that is, at that time it was easy to defend it. In addition, I took on it at the suggestion of the boss, without examining the state of the problem. Then my eyes opened. I wish I could quit, as fate told me.
But the script made me write it down to the last line. A year of verification with the supervisor. And the prohibition of the Higher Attestation Commission to accept dissertations on these topics for defense. 1973 year. Depression, hands down. And again I was lucky. Fate gave me an outlet. These were table tennis lessons. But I didn't understand her signals. The relationship with management becomes tense.
And here I was lucky again. In 1978, I had a violation of cerebral circulation in the vertebrobasilar artery system. When you lie down, you feel good, but you cannot get up. You think a lot. And then I came across a brochure on transactional analysis. I bought it in 1978, but I understood and read it while lying in a hospital bed. I decided to go to sports psychotherapy.
And then a man appeared in my life who brought me to big sport as a consultant psychologist. It was then that I noticed that the world is not only about psychiatrists and the mentally ill. Working in sports, I realized that athletes do not need AT, but the ability to avoid unnecessary conflicts. I helped them, and then I helped myself. So I began to develop from the side.
In 1980, I developed a relationship with management without sycophancy and got the long-desired promotion and became a teacher. This is how the system of psychological judo began to emerge, which was later used by M. Litvak to create a system of psychological aikido.
Having become a teacher, I was forced to take on all the topics of psychotherapy, since the teacher who had read these topics earlier refused to teach these classes. This is how the production requirements and my desires coincided. It was great. The feeling of happiness was so complete that I forgot that a dissertation should be completed.
And in 1984 I was lucky again. The competition committee unanimously recommended not to elect me for a second term. I cursed her, but now I thank her. This is how I began to complete my Ph. D. thesis. My topic for those times was slippery. I had many advisers.
Everyone welcomed my results, but argued that the work should be done in the traditional way. Otherwise, I will not be able to protect her. But then fate gave me a sign. Do as you understand. I stopped consulting with everyone except Teacher # 2, who helped shape my ideas. When I applied for defense, one Council did not accept it, the second failed, and in the third I brilliantly defended it in 1989.
And here I was lucky both externally and internally. I met an organizer of psychological training on a national scale. With his help, I soon became a fairly well-known specialist in professional circles.
Then I began to regularly conduct cycles of psychotherapy, which went on with constant success and gathered up to 40 people instead of 18 according to the plan. And he tried to organize an assistant professor's course. But I was lucky again. None of it worked for me. I felt lonely.
But fate in '90 slipped a wonderful companion - a white sheet of paper. You know. HE agreed with me in everything, listened to all my nonsense. Did NOT mind when I retracted the previously said. So in 1991 the book "Psychological Judo" appeared. It came out with a circulation of 100, then 1000, then in 1992 - 50 thousand. I had to publish books at my own expense.
I organized my own publishing house and published 4 small books on neuroses, PD, AU. And in 1994 fate brought me together with my current publisher, and in 1995 published the book "Encyclopedia of Communication".
The fate of his words advised me to quit the institute and start writing only books. But the script turned out to be stronger. I wrote books, but in order to be more convincing when organizing a cycle of psychotherapy or a department. And I am grateful to fate that I failed to do this. Thus, six more books appeared. And although I realized that I had less and less chances to become at least an assistant professor, I was still endowed.
Since 1994 I began to write letters of resignation. In 1996 - the second. Gradually my activity shifted outside the institute. When I turned 60, I realized that my position had become ambiguous. While my immediate superior was still living, everything somehow came together. But when he died and the cadre movement began, young people began to bypass me without an understandable reason.
And they didn't even explain to me why this was happening. Why didn’t I become the head of the educational unit, why didn’t I become an assistant professor? As a pensioner, I had no right to ask. I had to decide for myself and find out the reason.
I have two versions: either they hold me out of mercy, or they mock me. But I do not need mercy, and I cannot allow myself to be mocked.
From the moment my friend and boss died, I had frequent extrasystoles (interruptions in the heart). I couldn't figure out why. I realized that this is a signal of fate, that I need to radically change my activity. I took a sabbatical, wrote and defended my doctoral dissertation, which, fortunately, the Higher Attestation Commission did not approve, otherwise the search for a professorship would begin. I did some more body movements. But all to no avail.
I decided to quit. Something inside instantly came loose. And, as soon as I submitted the application, the extrasystoles stopped, the duality of the situation disappeared. I realized that this was the voice of my destiny, and I quit. I don’t want to say that it’s easy for me now. But, as surgeons say, the condition is adequate to the severity of the surgical intervention."
Soon after his dismissal, fate showered him with various favors, which are not worth listing. He got more than he dreamed, he even got what he never dreamed of, but only after he left the script and began to live in accordance with his own nature and his own destiny.
Oh, if only psychologically competent leaders stood in his way, who would care not about the welfare of society, but about their own! They, of course, would have helped him to realize himself a little earlier, and he would have contributed to the growth of their teams and the solution of their personal interests. And there are a lot of such people who realized themselves late. And even more of those who never manage to realize themselves. Calculate what a loss society bears!
Have I done good deeds? Apparently, yes, because all of a sudden, people said thank you to me many years after we met. By this time, I did not remember them, because I lived for myself all the time.
And you, my dear readers, I thank you for purchasing one or more of my books. For me this is a boon, but you did not think about a boon. After all, making this purchase, you lived for yourself!
And if my theses are: there is only personal interest and there is no interest in the case - you accepted, it remains to end the article with the appeal: “Learn to live rightly for yourself! Everyone will only benefit from this!”Published by econet.ru
Author: Mikhail Litvak
