Motive is what prompts and directs human activity, the driving force of behavior, which consists of needs, interests, drives and emotions. Motive activation creates a definite tendency of action. During the implementation of the motivational process, a person turns the initial situation into a desirable one. Motivation for achievement - striving to improve results, dissatisfaction with what has been achieved, persistence in achieving one's goals, striving to achieve one's goal at all costs. Speaking of a high level of motivation, they mean confidence in a successful outcome, search for information, acceptance of responsibility, perseverance. But initially there must be a desire - it is it that makes us do something. It is the desire of a person that promotes the movement towards action.
There are situations when it seems that there is a desire and everything is in order with motivation, and there is a desire to do something: with oneself, with relationships, with feelings, with life in general, but then suddenly a strange thing is discovered that there is not enough to implement the plan just desires. There are excuses, no strength, no time. And it seems like how to do it, to whom and why this is a separate question, but there is no particular desire. And here customers' requests begin about how to implement the plan, where to get resources and, in general, whether it is self-sabotage. I'm not talking about procrastination (postponing important matters), here about my own, personal desires. After all, if you really want something, you really need something, for you, you take it and do it, despite the difficulties and obstacles, sometimes even forgetting about sleep and food.
Let's look at the main mistakes in the formation of goals and desires, and how you can fix them:
1. Means instead of desire. This is just about when we have to force ourselves to literally force some kind of desire. And if you take a closer look at such a strange desire, it turns out that this is just a means to achieve the desired. Remember those goals and desires of yours that you cannot achieve. Try to answer the question "Why do I need this?", "How did it become clear that I want this?" Most likely you will find that you want something else, and this is only a means. Now when the true desire is found, it will be your real goal and understanding this will give the necessary energy, as it were, the final picture. And think, maybe there are some other ways to fulfill your desires that cause you less resistance.
2. Claims instead of tasks that take energy for transformation, instead of giving it. The message “You are bad, you are bad” does not provide any specific direction, but only causes shame, guilt and despair. Therefore, it is necessary to reformulate the claims into development objectives. If you are unhappy with yourself or with the way you are doing, think about how you would like to change it. And strive for this already, understanding the ultimate positive goal - it becomes much easier.
3. Too global goals that turn a goal into a dream. And it takes away from us the time that we spend in fantasies, without giving any motivation for action. If I do not have intermediate goals, then I have no access to the joy of my success, and without it, long movement is impossible. Therefore, if the goal is ambitious, then think about what you would like from the next year, what events, changes, acquisitions that will bring you closer to the goal.
And the main thing that I want to propose is to abandon the idea that in order to be happy, loved, successful person it is necessary to become ideal and conform to a certain template. Listen to your heart and recognize your true desires!
