Our level of knowledge of relationships: If car drivers were as skilled in driving as we are in building and developing relationships, there would be accidents at every corner every minute. For some reason, before getting behind the wheel, we study for several months, but we believe that relationships can be started just like that, without knowledge, according to the principle “what is there to think, shake it”.
Many problems in relationships (including those that have been for many years) arise due to the fact that not all stages of building relationships have been passed. The most important thing to avoid breaking up a relationship “in full swing” is not to consider yourself very experienced with it. Men usually believe that the main stronghold of stability in marriage is “I have no extramarital affairs and I bring money.” From the Vedic point of view, such a marriage is doomed. This can be compared to extreme driving - when the car is driving on a slippery road, sometimes you have to turn in the direction you least want. So it is with relationships in marriage.
7 levels of harmony (7 mental centers of a person)
We do not interact much physically, mostly interaction takes place at the levels of psychic energy. This interaction can either destroy (this is especially typical for women - if a woman is negatively disposed, this has a very bad effect on a man at any distance), or vice versa.
More detailed this topic (levels of harmony) is disclosed in the lecture “secrets of harmony in the family”, briefly 7 levels of harmony can be described as follows:
1. Coccygeal center. Physical layer. Harmony based on sexual desire.
2. Inguinal center. Striving for comfort. If the energy rises higher, there is more romance in the relationship. Compatibility at this level speaks to the general idea of comfort.
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3. The navel center. Social connection and responsibility, the family in this case is a “cell in society”, what is seen in society. A woman is looking for a responsible, reliable man. A man in one of the options is looking for a woman who cooks well. It is also a relationship when two go in for sports, exercise, etc. together.
4. Heart center. Deep friendship. A woman trusts a man very much, she can tell him everything. Also here is joint creativity, work. Level 4 is harmony on the moon, such couples can go hand in hand for many lives.
5. Throat center. Quivering love. Outwardly, this is a good couple, you can see the warmth in the relationship, but internally it is a very romantic relationship, they write each other notes with declarations of love, go on dates, sleep in different rooms from the very day of the wedding. An example of such a relationship is the family of actress Lyubov Orlova.
6. Frontal center. An adult mature couple who is responsible for themselves and their loved ones, and also accept some kind of companionship together - together they move towards goals that seem transcendental to others.
7. Crown center. Spiritual union. Each spouse perceives the other as a part of God. A man perceives a woman as a part of God, which is given to him under the protection and care. The woman believes that this man was given to her to serve him and support him in his spiritual practice.
Only the last 4 levels of harmony give a chance to build strong relationships and create a strong family.
5 stages of convergence
If you skip the steps that would allow the relationship to develop harmoniously, it makes sense to start over. Why are 5 stages of convergence needed? So that the psychic energy of harmony, attunement between lovers, spouses, occurs gradually and so that together they can pass from step to step. And if at the initial stage some steps are skipped, nothing will happen until you return to the skipped step and go through it again.
1. Attraction
A man is attracted by the appearance of a woman, a woman by the intellect of a man. A man meets a Woman for whom he feels a disposition, she is special for him, but he feels the same physical attraction to her as to other women. A man is attracted by a woman's body, it is like a runway for a Man - to accelerate before takeoff. Therefore, to say that all men need the same thing is like being indignant that the plane does not take off immediately, without acceleration. Physical attraction is the energy that will lift a man to the seventh floor. This does not apply only to young people, but also to people of any age. A woman's psyche is so arranged that she begins to get involved in a man, regardless of appearance. She is attracted by his intellect, intelligence and responsibility. If a woman fell in love very much at first sight, then she invented everything about him. If time for a relationship is not given (“I saw him and immediately understood!”) - the woman's imagination turns on. According to the Vedas, a woman in this case needs to close her eyes, ears and mouth, and flee from this place immediately and, if possible, never return there. It is a very big mistake for a woman to believe that without going through the communication stage, she can meet that person. Even if she meets him, she will then doubt all her life whether this is the right person, because in her heart she will understand that everything could not be so simple. It can't be that easy to get the plane into the air. A novice pilot often has a problem after raising an airplane - how to land it now? So it is with relationships that do not have a proper foundation. This level is the foundation of future relationships.
2. Uncertainty
This stage must be mandatory! First, a man achieves a woman, and then after the first victories he suddenly feels like a complete idiot - and now he doesn't even want to call her. “Maybe it’s not her.” The secret is that a man must endure a phase of doubt and still continue to court. And then, having doubted, go to stage 3. A woman at this stage needs to be calm. If he suddenly disappears - take it calmly, do not call and do not try to sort things out. The most idiotic question a woman can ask at this stage is "how do you feel about me?" He himself does not know the answer to this question! The psyche of a man acts on the principle of suspenders - the further he moves away, the more force he will then be attracted to. And in the second stage, the first separation occurs. It is important for a woman to be calm, not to strain.
3. Desire to be the only one (oh)
If a man correctly passed the stage of doubts, the woman did not interfere with him with her calls, and did not punish him, when he finally called (“I had to call before, the train left”), he has a keen desire to meet only this woman, to deepen these relationship (does not mean physical intimacy, it can only worsen the relationship at this stage). Women usually spoil everything when they do not allow a man to doubt, and often in the 15th year of marriage, a man remains in a stage of uncertainty.
4. Mental relationships
People go deeper into each other's lives and hearts. Before that, it is easier for a woman to hide her negative character traits, but at this stage the reverse side of the medal is already visible. If a woman at this stage cannot open up and become herself, she tries her best to look good, not to show her negative qualities of character, emotions, that is, does not trust a man, then either this is not the stage yet. A woman's attempt to look good in the eyes of a man suggests that she does not value this relationship and does not trust the man. And thus she destroys the relationship herself, since the suppression of emotions causes their accumulation and explosion, which is very dangerous. This is the joyful stage as we can be ourselves. But becoming yourself early can be frustrating.
5. Engagement
The stage of the relationship that precedes marriage. Any married couple can imagine themselves in the engagement stage. As if spouses, but at any moment you can leave. Competent parting at this stage occurs based on the context "I love you, but not enough to live with you all my life." We can love many, but there are very few loved ones with whom we can live our whole life. A very common mistake is to think that if I fell in love with this person, then now this is the only person with whom I can connect my destiny. However, having met a kindred spirit (even if at first there was no ardent love) and having fully passed all the stages of the relationship, we begin to love. One Indian said to an American: “Do you know why you have so many divorces? Because you are constantly striving to immediately marry those whom you love, and we are trying to love those whom you have married.“It may seem absurd, but going through all the stages of rapprochement, a person has a chance to determine exactly whether this is really a loved one, and even love him.
How to go through all these stages if they have not been passed, but the relationship already exists?
As a rule, you need to start over. It's like in locksmith work - if the bolt does not go, it is crooked, an experienced locksmith will unscrew and tighten again. If you try to keep twisting, the bolt will either lock or break the thread. For a woman, in this case, it makes sense to move away. If spouses start all over again on time, they can negotiate how they will build the relationship again from the beginning. It is useful for spouses to meet again - this has its own romance, although not necessarily. You can start from the stage of uncertainty. For many couples, the relationship becomes very warm and sincere as soon as they break up! Therefore, it is important to go back a few steps and try to start over. A woman is afraid that if she backs up, then she will destroy the relationship and will be to blame, meanwhile the psyche of a man is so arranged, the alarm does not turn on,until he sees the suitcase. The problem in this case arises if by mistake a woman made a man the center of her life (usually this happens in the early stages, when a woman burns all bridges, gradually abandons all relationships, and only a man remains in her life). It is also a big problem if a woman replaces her family with work, tries to go to work so as not to solve problems in the family - then a hospital awaits her 100%. A woman should have a cozy place where she can wait out the winter of relationships - girlfriends, friends, hobbies, spiritual practice, warm relationships with older people, different types of happiness. And the trouble is that in her sacrifice, a woman from the very beginning cuts off all bridges, leaving only a man in her life. A woman needs to create a base so that marriage remains a dessert on the abundant holiday table, and not the only dish. She sets herself a trap when she thinks that there should be only marriage in her life.
Early fidelity, or what are the consequences of "quick" sex
There is a very dangerous syndrome of "early fidelity" - a woman considers herself a wife even before a man is even going to build a relationship with her. This happens because female affection goes through certain stages: the intellectual attractiveness of a man, then warmth and only then physical intimacy. And when there is physical intimacy, the woman seems to have gone through all the stages. The closest person means a husband. But the stages have not been passed! And if a woman gets physically close to a man too early, then she kind of feels that she is constantly being robbed. As a result, tantrums arise, they are suppressed (because I have to look good in his eyes so as not to lose him), and there can be no talk of any kind of spiritual relationship.
The qualities of a woman that inspire a man the most
1. Sense of dignity
2. Insight (sensitivity) - the ability to subtly feel what is happening in the soul of another person (and first - what is in his own), to find a balance between your experiences and the experiences of another person
3. Benevolence - you tend to give and receive good (attention and kindness).
Dignity
- Dignity also means thinking about how to make a woman happy. Give yourself the right to your desires, beliefs, preferences. And if we talk about the question “who should give in to whom first,” a woman must first of all give in to herself - want her desires. - Feeling "everyone around wants to take care of me." A woman is worthy to meet always worthy men. A worthy woman always relies on support. Self-confident does not need support, because she always has a plan, she can do everything herself. Feminine dignity - I owe, masculine - I myself. A woman is born so that her desires and goals can be achieved by someone. A man - to help a woman achieve her desires and goals (or his own together with her, if they are soul mates). A friend told me a story about how her battery sat down at customs,and it was with this feeling (“the people around me want to take care of me, and what they haven’t taken care of yet is just by chance”) I stood near the car. As a result, very quickly, out of nowhere, a man who organized a violent activity around her car, found wires for lighting a cigarette, and did everything! She does not consider herself perfect, so she tries different ways to achieve what she wants with joy (not this man means different, this hairstyle does not attract - it means another, etc.) When a woman stops caring for herself, it's like a cry for help - I feel bad! But a man is attracted not by a woman's tragedy, but by a chance to make her happy. A woman deserves to take care of herself, to be beautiful, attractive, elegantly feminine, according to age. There is such a principle "every man is good for starting a relationship, which has not proven otherwise."If you can't build a relationship - no problem, next. - If a man does not show respect for her, she stops communicating with him. If a woman continues to communicate with someone who does not respect her, her self-esteem drops. There is such a mechanism in the psyche of children - I judge myself the way people around me treat me. But before you find a loved one, you need to find your social circle that respects a woman. - Easily asks for help - Doesn't try to please a man by sacrificing himself. A woman, constantly sacrificing herself, ceases to see it - it becomes like a drug, the worse, the more she takes on herself. Such a woman's mood is as if she is the most interesting person on earth. Men are delighted with this. But first you have to believe yourself that I'm interesting. "We are bored with those people who are bored with you"who are bored with you "who are bored with you "who are bored with you "who are bored with you "- If a man does not show respect for her, she stops communicating with him. If a woman continues to communicate with someone who does not respect her, her self-esteem drops. There is such a mechanism in the psyche of children - I judge myself the way people around me treat me. But before you find a loved one, you need to find your social circle that respects a woman. - Easily asks for help - Doesn't try to please a man by sacrificing himself. A woman, constantly sacrificing herself, ceases to see it - it becomes like a drug, the worse, the more she takes on herself. Such a woman's mood is as if she is the most interesting person on earth. Men are delighted with this. But first you have to believe yourself that I'm interesting. "We are bored with those people who are bored with you"- If a man does not show respect for her, she stops communicating with him. If a woman continues to communicate with someone who does not respect her, her self-esteem drops. There is such a mechanism in the psyche of children - I judge myself the way people around me treat me. But before you find a loved one, you need to find your social circle that respects a woman. - Easily asks for help - Doesn't try to please a man by sacrificing himself. A woman, constantly sacrificing herself, ceases to see it - it becomes like a drug, the worse, the more she takes on herself. Such a woman's mood, as if she is the most interesting person on earth. Men are delighted with this. But first you have to believe yourself that I'm interesting. "We are bored with those people who are bored with you"If a woman continues to communicate with someone who does not respect her, her self-esteem drops. There is such a mechanism in the psyche of children - I judge myself the way people around me treat me. But before you find a loved one, you need to find your social circle that respects a woman. - Easily asks for help - Doesn't try to please a man by sacrificing himself. A woman, constantly sacrificing herself, ceases to see it - it becomes like a drug, the worse, the more she takes on herself. Such a woman's mood is as if she is the most interesting person on earth. Men are delighted with this. But first you have to believe yourself that I'm interesting. "We are bored with those people who are bored with you"If a woman continues to communicate with someone who does not respect her, her self-esteem drops. There is such a mechanism in the psyche of children - I judge myself the way people around me treat me. But before you find a loved one, you need to find your social circle that respects a woman. - Easily asks for help - Doesn't try to please a man by sacrificing himself. A woman, constantly sacrificing herself, ceases to see it - it becomes like a drug, the worse, the more she takes on herself. Such a woman's mood is as if she is the most interesting person on earth. Men are delighted with this. But first you have to believe yourself that I'm interesting. "We are bored with those people who are bored with you"But before you find a loved one, you need to find your social circle that respects a woman. - Easily asks for help - Doesn't try to please a man by sacrificing himself. A woman, constantly sacrificing herself, ceases to see it - it becomes like a drug, the worse, the more she takes on herself. Such a woman's mood is as if she is the most interesting person on earth. Men are delighted with this. But first you have to believe yourself that I'm interesting. "We are bored with those people who are bored with you"But before you find a loved one, you need to find your social circle that respects a woman. - Easily asks for help - Doesn't try to please a man by sacrificing himself. A woman, constantly sacrificing herself, ceases to see it - it becomes like a drug, the worse, the more she takes on herself. Such a woman's mood is as if she is the most interesting person on earth. Men are delighted with this. But first you have to believe yourself that I'm interesting. "We are bored with those people who are bored with you"Such a woman's mood, as if she is the most interesting person on earth. Men are delighted with this. But first you have to believe yourself that I'm interesting. "We are bored with those people who are bored with you"Such a woman's mood, as if she is the most interesting person on earth. Men are delighted with this. But first you have to believe yourself that I'm interesting. "We are bored with those people who are bored with you"
Sensitivity, or discernment
She is ready to accept what she is given without indignation, even if she expected more. The woman herself chooses what to choose from the attention of a man - a sexual attraction or a sign of attention. When a woman's self-esteem is high, she herself chooses what to listen to (and hear) from what is said about her. - Even in difficult circumstances, believe that everything will turn out for the best. A sense of dignity is associated with cleanliness and faith in the divine protection of a woman. As dignity falls, the belief that someone cares about me falls, then the woman tries to solve everything in her life for herself, and so she just ditches herself and turns into a really miserable creature. - Able to categorically, but tactfully, reject what she does not like For example, when a man meets and says that it’s time to “deepen the relationship”,the woman calmly and tactfully answers - I don't think so. If men insist, a woman can answer like this - I respect you, you are a very good person, I like you, and I would not want to hit you on the hands every time. - She expresses her disagreement with the opinion of a man in a light joke form 2 mistakes. The first - the woman does not express disagreement and slowly loses herself as a person, the second - categorically disagrees (this often happens after 10 years of full consent). Disagreement should not sound like "you are a fool", as men tend to see any disagreement in a reproach. The first - the woman does not express disagreement and slowly loses herself as a person, the second - categorically disagrees (this often happens after 10 years of full consent). Disagreement should not sound like "you are a fool", as men tend to see any disagreement as a reproach. The first - the woman does not express disagreement and slowly loses herself as a person, the second - categorically disagrees (this often happens after 10 years of full consent). Disagreement should not sound like "you are a fool", as men tend to see any disagreement as a reproach.
Favor
- A woman shows a man - I really like what you do, and if you want, you have a chance and you can try to do even better - Smile - Naturalness and ease. Naturalness means a woman is not trying to descend to the level of a man. If a man does not smile, this is not a reason to go gloomy too. - If a man does not please (and the problem is that a man pleases the way he wants to be pleased, and only over time begins to understand what a woman needs) - she does not react in any way. For example, a man invited a woman to a movie and the film turned out to be bad. The correct reaction is not to react in any way. Lack of positive feedback is a signal that there is another attempt. When a woman praises what a man has done, it’s like being praised, when she scolds what he did - like being scolded. - The woman makes it clearthat there is an opportunity to make her happier. No one can make a woman happy except herself. If happiness is already there, any person comes as a large magnifying glass. If the woman is unhappy, then the man will also come with a magnifying glass, and after a few years she will only become more unhappy. when he feels happy without a man, it's time to start a relationship with a man. If in marriage a woman is waiting for a man to make her happy, she will never wait, and she will also go berserk, “that he didn’t make me happy, he was never interested in my needs, and I spent the best years of my life on you”. A man has no goal of making an unhappy woman not unhappy, he has a goal of making a happy woman even happier. If happiness is already there, any person comes as a large magnifying glass. If the woman is unhappy, then the man will also come with a magnifying glass, and after a few years she will only become more unhappy. when he feels happy without a man, it's time to start a relationship with a man. If in marriage a woman is waiting for a man to make her happy, she will never wait, and she will also go berserk, “that he didn’t make me happy, he was never interested in my needs, and I spent the best years of my life on you”. A man has no goal of making an unhappy woman not unhappy, he has a goal of making a happy woman even happier. If happiness is already there, any person comes as a large magnifying glass. If the woman is unhappy, then the man will also come with a magnifying glass, and after a few years she will only become more unhappy. when he feels happy without a man, it's time to start a relationship with a man. If in marriage a woman is waiting for a man to make her happy, she will never wait, and she will also go berserk, “that he didn’t make me happy, he was never interested in my needs, and I spent the best years of my life on you”. A man has no goal of making an unhappy woman not unhappy, he has a goal of making a happy woman even happier.and in a few years she will only become more miserable. when he feels happy without a man, it's time to start a relationship with a man. If in marriage a woman is waiting for a man to make her happy, she will never wait, and she will also go berserk, “that he didn’t make me happy, he was never interested in my needs, and I spent the best years of my life on you”. A man has no goal of making an unhappy woman not unhappy, he has a goal of making a happy woman even happier.and in a few years she will only become more unhappy. when he feels happy without a man, it's time to start a relationship with a man. If in marriage a woman is waiting for a man to make her happy, she will never wait, and she will also go berserk, “that he didn’t make me happy, he was never interested in my needs, and I spent the best years of my life on you”. A man has no goal of making an unhappy woman not unhappy, he has a goal of making a happy woman even happier. A man has no goal of making an unhappy woman not unhappy, he has a goal of making a happy woman even happier. A man has no goal of making an unhappy woman not unhappy, he has a goal of making a happy woman even happier.
How a woman can go back to the 7th level
The best way is to do spiritual practice. When she interacts with people who value her feminine qualities of character, or simply practices wishing everyone happiness, she begins to feel happiness. Return to the places where you were on the 7th level, post children's photos all over the house, where the woman was on the seventh level. Find a wise woman who is older than her. As a rule, it is unrealistic to get it from your mother. Until we have established a daughter relationship with someone, we cannot improve a relationship with our mother. When someone looks at us as if we were small, clean and bright, we immediately turn on the 7th level.
