… And GOD created a woman …
And since then there is no rest for either GOD or the woman …
(Internet "bikes")
If you recall an anecdote from Soviet times, then …
A breathless woman rushes into the therapist's office with bags and a crash:
- Doctor, what breed of animals do I belong to ?!
- Pardon me, dear, you are a man!
- Co-co-coco still "man" ?! From childhood they explained: a chicken is not a bird, a woman is not a man … I did not believe it then, I thought they were joking! And I?
Promotional video:
In the morning I jump up, battered like a sheep, jump around the room like a kangaroo, collecting children and bags, like a cuckoo throwing children into a kindergarten and nursery, trotting to a stop, jumping, aiming like a monkey, into a tram, riding a hare, overflowing with everyone, like a mongrel, at work I work like an ox, after work, like a bloodhound, I run around the shops, I load food like a camel, and like a duck I collect the children home …
The husband comes home from work and - to the TV, not forgetting to ask: "Kisa, is dinner ready?" In the evening, after putting the children to bed, tired as a worn-out nag, I fall into bed, then my husband comes after watching a football match, pushes me in the side to move, and grumbles under his breath, but so that I could hear: “Razglaaaaas here, you know like a cow!"
- Tell me, doctor, what breed of animals do I belong to ?!
Meanwhile, it is known from French: Cherchez la femme … (Cherchez la femme, if written in other symbols). Look for the WOMAN … And it is not said which one, but only the WOMAN in general, without explanations and any hints! Wikipedia, however, explains that this WOMAN needs to be looked for, (quote) “… when a MAN behaves unusual or the motivation for his actions is unclear, the reason may be his attempt to hide an illegal affair with a woman, or to impress, or to gain the favor of a woman. That is, in the opinion of the speaker of this phrase, the cause of the event, disaster, crime is a woman. " Well, well, well … "You are to blame for the fact that I want to eat!" (if we recall the fable of grandfather Ivan Andreevich Krylov "The Wolf and the Lamb"), that is, the woman is "guilty" by birth by the WOMAN. In general, "Seek, and - you will find …"
Once I had a chance to go, returning from the guests, in the regular bus "Tomsk - Novosibirsk", place number 45, "supervised" by the constellation, as I remember, MUSKA. The thought flashed that I might have to "buzz" with someone about worldly affairs … Nearby, in 44th place (uh-huh, the constellation MICROSCOPE, oh, that is, MICROSCOPIUM, "he" accompanies), sat down an interesting man in the prime of life and in a good mood. Word for word … We talked. It turned out that a doctor of physical and mathematical sciences, a teacher of one Far Eastern university (he presented a business card), in Tomsk he visited someone on the way, and in Novosibirsk he was going to some scientific conference …
And a few more common information "vectors" that emerged during the conversation: we were both born in the Year of the Tiger, only 12 years old these "tigers" are separated in time, both of us are March (that is, MARS), both of us - in the 20th born in March, both are from the family, and my grandson is as old as his youngest son …
And, of course, some kind of "fly" bit me, or maybe the provocation was that the fellow traveler turned out to be slightly "under the fly", nuuuu … very slightly, but quite conducive to communication!
I say, referring to my fellow traveler by name and patronymic:
- Do you want me to tell you something new about the PHYSICS ?!
- You - me, a doctor of physical and mathematical sciences ?! Anything new? If you please joke …
- Yes, new … Or unusual … For example, you look in the mirror when you shave, so you see "who" or "what"?
- How WHOM? Yourself, of course!
- You are a doctor of physical and mathematical sciences … You see in the mirror … WHAT? Or … WHOM ?!
It starts to "reach" …
- Eeee … yes, my REFLECTION in the mirror, direct and cold, of course - WHAT! I just never thought about it!
- Naturally, we didn’t think about it! There was no reason to think about this topic!
And then I ask the following, clearly provocative question:
- Can you touch the WOMAN?
Revitalization in the look:
- Which one? Which one? Right, left, sitting in front?
- Use it! (Youth playful Internet slang). You cannot touch the WOMAN, because the WOMAN is the WORD! Behind this WORD is the usual informational "packaging", inside of which there is a living and warm physico-biological body (Spirit, Soul and body-body) of a human female, from which you can "catch" the most unpredictable response to an unauthorized touch with a physical action, since it is known from the course of school physics that every action has a reaction, although the response IMPULSE can be … of any quality.
Further, the conversation smoothly spilled over to the presence of a WOMAN in FAIRY TALES … There were: sisters, half-sisters, women, daughters-in-law, ordinary and merchant daughters, stepdaughters, mothers, stepmothers, old women, women and grandmothers with granddaughters, evil witches, good fairies, sorceresses, sleeping and not sleeping beauties, hardworking and slothful, girls - beauties and not very beauties (including absolutely the same: height, and "hair-in-hair", and "voice-in-a-voice"), smart and not very smart, and "goldilocks", and in someone else's "skin", and princesses, and princesses, and heroes, local and overseas … Beautiful and Wise Vasilis, and even … RUS-Alki, kikimors and other "old ladies" … WOMEN there, in FAIRY TALES, it wasn’t common … Therefore, there’s nothing to look for …
- And in the fairy tale "REPKA", for example, there are (is, is) SEVEN characters: 1 - grandfather (who later became grandfather), a male representative, and 6 female representatives: REPKA, grandmother, granddaughter, Bug, cat and … mouse! Why only the dog has a proper name (spelled with a capital letter), while the rest have common nouns! "What kind of parable is this?"
- Indeed … I also never paid attention to this bug!
- Then let's try to transfer the plot of the fairy tale "REPKA", written for a toddler age, to a different temporal state and to the realities of our Fatherland. It is known: "A fairy tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it, a lesson for good fellows." Good fellows - obviously not kids, no longer even teenagers and not young men, but young people who have received not only secondary school, but, possibly, special education, or higher, who know the value of work and who can take responsibility for their thoughts, words and deeds.
Let's divide the TALE into THREE time periods:
The first of them, for example, REPKA (a diminutive form of the noun due to the suffix-X-a "K") and the grandfather - the pre-war generation, which could have heard about the presence "somewhere out there" of such communication techniques as TELEPHONE and TELEGRAPH, from the post-revolutionary times and events, they began to enter into BEING for the population of cities.
The second period, conditionally "grandfather" and "grandmother" - the generation, which fell to the lot of the Great Patriotic War, which they passed with dignity and defended their Fatherland, together, front and rear. Communication technology was rapidly improving, not only wired networks appeared, but also radio communication (and the ability to track it - direction finding), radio broadcasting, automatic telephone and telegraph communication) and the first televisions "with lenses" in front of the screen, "KVN-49", developed for mass production at the Alexandrovsky radio plant in 1947 …
3rd period, conditionally "granddaughter", who replaced the post-war parental generation, who studied in schools according to the same program for the whole Fatherland, familiar with FZO (factory training), evening schools (remember the movie "Spring on Zarechnaya Street" and a more modern TV movie "Big break") for those who are especially interested - specialized secondary (technical schools) and higher (institutes, RUDN, Bauman Moscow State Technical University, MAI, MADI, MEPhI, MHTI) of various profiles, not only technical ones.
So for the "granddaughter" a very rapid advancement of electronics began and its first modest, and then a landslide "infiltration" not only into production, into agriculture, but again into existence! Moreover, the first computers were of enormous size, first the first Pentiums appeared in household use, then computer technology moved with SEVEN steps to WINDOWS-XP and modern professional WINDOWS-7 … 8 … 10, not to mention powerful analog computing complexes for various services and … mobile phones, smartphones, etc. that have become commonplace.
However, we digress from the word "granddaughter". Whom there, in the fairy tale, did the grandmother “click”? ("Click" is a computer term!) As usual - a granddaughter. What if the “click” message was addressed to the granddaughter? Then, even though the letters are the same, the generic “content” behind the verbal “packaging” is different, masculine, and in Daddy’s “shelf” it is profitable.
The next one who was "clicked" was who? Dog, (@). The bug. Only one letter replaced the first two from the "granddaughter" … Such a good "dog" turns out, address! And the fabulous granddaughter, or the granddaughter, and any user of the electronic mailbox of the home computer have proper names written with a capital letter: surname, first name, patronymic, like the fabulous Bug. To tell the truth, the fairytale BUG has the option of contacting KIZHUCH, but this is a completely different fairy tale, where the characters are the FISH and the FISHERMAN … So-ah, we are not distracted!
On the next "click", on the "click" of the dog Bugs who came running? A cat, or a cat (we always had a “cat” in our small homeland, but here, in Siberia, we heard a “cat”!), Again - the letters are the same, but the last two of the five are slightly reversed. So a normal household “cat” has turned over time and changed technical specifications (technical conditions) into a “scientist's cat” working with computer equipment and information-code technologies that accompany it. CAT - CODE - YEAR - DOG … - and this is how the "cat" and the "dog" are "interconnected" in computer science … But if KOSHAK, then again, Dedkin's "regiment" arrived, and there were … three of them.
Who came running to the final "click"? Mouse! And there is such a "mouse-with-a-tail" on the rug in front of each computer … However, there may not be a "mouse" proper, so they got used to communicating with the cursor, sensory … But what about our "REPKA"? And she grew up, big, big, you can call her the word REPISHA … REPKA - it is also Re-PC (a), address-return to a personal computer, REPKA - PEKAR (b), simpler than a steamed turnip …
- Wow, what is your arrangement (translation) of the simplest fairy tale plot! Is there anything else "like"?
- Yes, even a kilogram! You, I think, know in what units information is measured. No, no, there is no need to list … But in kilograms, do you think it is possible to measure information?
His eyebrows jumped up, and “devils danced” in his eyes, but he turned out to be a high-quality and self-possessed “doctor”, and therefore did not make an expressive gesture with twisting his index finger at his temple …
- Do not rush … do not rush to laugh!.. Do you know your body weight in kilograms? Famous. Here is the primary weighty information. Does every human physical body have a mass? Possesses. Is this physical mass of the human body composed of the same chemical elements as the entire universe? Includes. And for any physical mass, the LAWS of PHYSICS, from elementary mechanics to the physics of elementary particles, are natural and irrevocable? Yes!!! Scientists "Heads of Professors Dowell" have already calculated that there are 639 skeletal muscles in the human body, this is 7 - 7.5 billion muscle cells … Approximately the same number of human population living on the Earth's BALL (if compared with the scale of the Large Space) … All this is also information !
Volumes of artistic, special (with the addition of appropriate symbols, drawings and drawings), technical, scientific, fantastic and fairy-tale literature, fables, myths, legends, plays, librettos, humoresques, anecdotes, reprises, scientific candidates are written in the same thirty-three letters., doctoral, monographs, newspaper and magazine articles and "pictures" to them, textbooks, dictionaries, lyrics, counting, sayings - all this is INFORMATION (info-MARS-IYA), and … how much will it be in kilograms? In tons? In megatons? This is already a BOMB … in the information equivalent!
Here my fellow traveler says half jokingly:
- Listen, I'm afraid of you!
I answer:
And I - I do not frighten you! I'm telling you FAIRY TALES!
The bus made a planned stop at Bolotnoye, about halfway between Tomsk and Novosibirsk. My fellow traveler went out to the buffet to refresh himself. He returned with a "polish" beer (probably "for courage"), and there was no point in continuing the conversation.
The doctor, albeit in physical and mathematical sciences, did not help me in search of the mysterious WOMAN, and she remained, for the time being, unknown. So they just … rustled about "la femme" … And in the fairy tale, the information balance took place! One bowl, male of the clan - three ("granddaughter", "granddaughter" and "cat"), then the five-element word RE-P-KA, another cup, feminine clan - three ("grandma", "dog" and "mouse") …
In fairness, it is worth noting that there was an intention to help Prince Guidon in search of an answer to his question, is it true that there is somewhere TSAREVNA with the proposed description. But it turns out that this is clearly not an earthly woman with whom you can "… live and live, but wait for the offspring …". What kind of "young princess" can there be "offspring"? Not a lamb, tea … It is unlikely that Alexander Sergeevich was mistaken, rather, he hid the "answer" to the riddle … Let's search ?!
Author: Olga Shilova