Child psychologists advise not to pronounce some phrases so as not to injure the baby, no matter how old he is - he already understands everything, even by intonation.
1. You can't do anything - let me do it
Psychologists say that this phrase traumatizes the baby and pre-programs for failure. He feels stupid and awkward and in the future is afraid to take the initiative, thinking that mom will scream again.
2. Take it, just calm down
It is difficult for some parents to endure many hours of mournful "please, give me." But by agreeing to give the baby what he asks, the parents, unwittingly, make it clear: everything can be achieved by whining and persuasion, and mother's "no" should not be taken seriously.
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3. I will see this again - you will get it from me
As practice has shown, things do not go further than threats. Neither mom nor dad will carry out the punishment, and the child will only be scared. Such a phrase in children only causes resentment and bewilderment. Don't scare your baby. The child must know exactly what to expect in a particular case. And sudden breakdowns of parents will not lead to anything good.
4. I said stop immediately
Don't talk so harshly with your baby! This is your child! If you get lost, it's best to apologize. After all, the child is offended, feeling completely powerless. And instead of “stopping” he begins to protest - the kids cry and are capricious, the teenagers silently leave and withdraw into themselves. In general, whatever one may say, this phrase will in no way help to achieve what you want.
5. You must understand that …
Many children have a defensive reaction to this phrase and its boring continuation. The kid does not understand morals and, without listening to you, switches to something else. Lessons are perceived worst of all when a child is agitated, upset, or angry. Remember, he is also a person who has some kind of "problem", and at the moment he is concerned about it, and does not accept your even the most sound and correct reasoning.
6. Boys (girls) do not behave like that
By constantly repeating this, parents instill certain stereotypes in their child. And in adulthood, a grown-up boy will perceive his own emotionality as something unworthy, and a girl will experience complexes about a “non-female” profession or an insufficiently cleaned apartment.
7. Do not be upset about nonsense
Perhaps this is not nonsense for a kid! Remember yourself as a child! Yes, the child can be upset that they did not give him a typewriter or that the house from the blocks fell apart. Indeed, in his small world, it is the car and the house that are the most important! Demonstrating disregard for the child's problems, you risk losing his trust and in the future not learning about other, not at all nonsense problems of your child.
8. Take care of my health
Often some mothers say this to babies. But understand, sooner or later all this ceases to be taken seriously, as in a fairy tale about a shepherd and wolves. And out of habit, the child may not pay attention to the really poor health of the mother. He will think that his mother is complaining if only he would stop making noise, jumping, playing, etc.
9. No, we will not buy this - there is no money (expensive)
It's hard to explain to a kid why you shouldn't buy everything. But it turns out that if mom or dad has money, you can buy everything in the store! This is how the kid understands this phrase. Wouldn't it be better to say, moms and dads: "you already have such a toy", "a lot of chocolate is harmful." Yes, it's always difficult to explain! But the child must understand why the parents do not buy it for him.
10. Everybody has children like children, and you …
… God's punishment, slob, muddlehead, etc. Do not put such labels on children! It lowers self-esteem, and the child really begins to live up to them.