It is the son who is the successor of the Family, heir, protector and deputy of the father in the event of his death, illness or absence from home, the breadwinner of his parents in old age. Therefore, the birth of a son was always perceived as a particularly joyful event, and a large number of sons in the family was a blessing of the Almighty.
After the birth of a son, the boy's umbilical cord was cut with an ax or an arrow. This was done to make him a successful hunter and skilled artisan.
How was the relationship between son and father and son and mother built? And what are the main family functions of father and mother in the family of our Ancestors?
In the Russian tradition, for many centuries, the image of the father has developed as a person who embodied law and duty, who is given the right to determine the lives of children, make decisions that ensure their happiness and well-being, punish and have mercy. That is why the father, without interfering in minor household chores and chores, always came to the fore at crucial moments in the lives of his children and played the role of the judge of last resort in disputes.
Public opinion demanded from the father, in the upbringing of children, first of all, strictness. A man who showed excessive affection, gentleness, and solicitude towards his children could not be considered a good educator. The father's duties included the punishment of the children: "An unpunished son is dishonor to the father." However, the father was not supposed to punish the son or daughter in a rage when they came to hand.
It is believed that immediately after the birth of the baby, an internal connection is established between the son and the father, they begin to understand each other perfectly. The father came into contact with the son only after he passed the stage of infancy. The father began to make "male" toys for him, occasionally took his son on his knees, telling him what a good man he would be when he grew up. During adolescence, the contact between the son and the father becomes even closer, the growing son in Russia had to master everything that the father knew and was able to: sow, plow, hunt, fish, and repair minor breakdowns. The young man learned from his father the correct housekeeping, therefore, when discussing economic issues, he was almost always present as a listener. Along with household skills, the son adopted from his father and his demeanor. An adult, a son of marriageable age,already worked on a par with his father, being considered his assistant and successor. At this age, he already has his own opinion, which he can express and to which the elders begin to listen. The son gains freedom of behavior, without asking permission from his parents, he could not come home to spend the night, and spent part of the money he earned on new clothes and treats for the girls. Despite all these indulgences, the unmarried son's freedom was still relative. In important, serious cases, he was obliged to coordinate his actions with his parents and with his father in particular.and spent part of the money earned on new clothes and treats for the girls. Despite all these indulgences, the unmarried son's freedom was still relative. In important, serious cases, he was obliged to coordinate his actions with his parents and with his father in particular.and spent part of the money earned on new clothes and treats for the girls. Despite all these indulgences, the unmarried son's freedom was still relative. In important, serious cases, he was obliged to coordinate his actions with his parents and with his father in particular.
As for the responsibilities of the mother in the family, she had not only to give birth to a child, but to raise and educate him: "He knew how to give birth to a child, be able to teach."
The relationship between the son and the mother was based on a completely different scenario. Until the age of seven or eight, the son was almost at the complete disposal of the mother. She fed him, watered him, healed him, and as a bearer of ancient Slavic wisdom, she protected him from damage and the evil eye. The excessive role of the mother in raising her son was considered undesirable, Promotional video:
such a boy is the object of ridicule. After the onset of adolescence, the son was "separated" from his mother to become a real man. And the boy, who prefers his mother to his father, received, and is still receiving, the nickname "mama's son", "secondhand child", "mother". The mother also took care of the correct physical development and morality of her son.
Boys were raised to be real husbands. And for this it was necessary to develop two basic qualities.
First, a man must be able to protect his woman. Defend physically: if enemies attacked, he had to be able to stand up for his wife and family. Protect financially: from childhood, boys understood that they were all responsible for supporting the family, it was natural. And defend psychologically.
What does it mean to defend psychologically?
Women have very active minds and moods can change by the minute. And it is important for a man to be firm in those moments when a woman throws a tantrum. He shouldn't be hysterical with her. It is important for a man to understand that it is difficult for a woman to control herself without his help, he must be able to calm her down, his duty is to protect a woman from her restless mind, to give care and support.
And the second quality of a real husband is the ability to control your feelings. Especially when it comes to other women. A man should be faithful to his wife and not offend her by looking at his neighbors.
The turning point in the son's life was marriage, he could stay in the house with his parents, or, having received part of the family property and the father's permission, become an independent owner. Changing a craft, marrying a girl you liked, moving to another city or village, without the blessing of the parents, such decisions were not made.
In Russia, the relationship between sons and parents was built on love and filial duty. The filial duty consisted of obedience to the parental will, respectful attitude and politeness towards parents.
An outward expression of respect for this was the generally accepted affectionate appeal to parents: father, father, mother, mother, mother. The son must constantly take care of his parents, and in the departure to inquire about their life and health.
If the parents are poor - help with money, if they are old - to feed, drink and care for them during illness. In the event of the death of his parents, the son must bury him with dignity, organize a commemoration, submit to the church for the forty-day, annual or eternal remembrance, pray for their sinful souls. "Parents are alive - read it, died - remember!" - says a Russian proverb.
If the son follows his duty, he will be, as it was believed, happy in his life and respected by people: "He who honors his parents will never perish."
