Several examples of how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, with comments and options for correction.
An internal dialogue is constantly taking place in our minds. We talk to ourselves about what is happening at the moment, what has happened in the past, and what may happen in the future. Internal dialogue affects our mood, perception and attitude in general.
But if the internal dialogue is negative, this can lead to undesirable consequences, because our thoughts and feelings affect our actions. First of all, determine the nature of your conversations with yourself. Then you can start building positive self-talk that will improve your life.
Let's say you find yourself in a traffic jam on your way to work. Is your first reaction to this anger? Something like, “Are you all crazy? Have you bought the rights? Look, what a fine fellow - he writes SMS while driving! … Hey, you almost killed us all! Why does this happen all the time when I'm late? How it makes me angry! Again I will be late … Hey, friend, do you, in general, know what a turn signal is?! … - and so on, until the blood begins to boil in my veins.
Negativity can feed itself. And with this mood you then go to work! You can be sure that others will pick up on your anger and irritation. This will affect the quality of your work and your productivity, because energetically and emotionally you are still in traffic and not at work …
Here are some examples of how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, with comments and options for correction:
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“I guess I won't miss the event. I know I won't have fun there.”
How can you know? This event has not happened yet! Replace the phrase with “This is going to be fun,” and your mood will change.
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When you are praised for a job you have done, you say, "Oh, nothing."
If you are praised, obviously your work is appreciated. So why don't you appreciate it yourself ?! Better just say, "Thank you!"
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"I can never lose those last 5 kg!"
When you focus on something, you materialize and attract it into your life. Change this negative statement to "My weight is ideal." And focus on what you want to attract into your life, not what you don't.
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"This is not fair!"
Life doesn't always match your ideal ideas of what it should be. Relax and accept it as it is. Change what you can change and accept what you cannot change.
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“The main
thing is victory” Thinking in the “all or nothing” style prevents you from enjoying the moment, living your life fully.
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"He annoys me!"
Not. He does something to which you prefer to react with anger. No one can tell you how to feel or how to react!
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"I am very angry!"
Not. You are a person with negative emotions. You are not your senses. And you are not an evil person.
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"I can't stand it if she leaves me!"
Breaking up is tough, but you can get over it. Moreover, breaking up can be good for you. Don't exaggerate the scale of the tragedy. Better imagine the ups and downs that could follow this temporary drop.
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“I am unable to study well”
Such generalizations are unhealthy. By making such statements, you significantly limit yourself! See your real and perceived shortcomings as opportunities for growth: "I am acquiring skills in …"
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“Oh my god, the soup was too salty! The whole lunch is ruined!”
Seriously? What about the rest of the dishes? Was the whole dinner a culinary disaster, or was it just a soup problem?
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“I cannot have a normal relationship because I was abused as a child.”
You exaggerate the significance of the past. It was a long time ago. Yes, it affected you, but you are no longer in this situation, and healing the trauma of the past is a matter of your choice.
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“It’s completely my fault that my children are not doing well in school.”
No, it’s not. But what about their responsibility for their actions? As a parent, you must guide, discipline your children and help them acquire the necessary skills, but the primary responsibility for their academic success and any other activity lies with them.
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“Nobody will ever love me.”
Never? Another false generalization directed against itself!
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"I'm so stupid!"
Are you really stupid? Is always? Are you absolutely stupid in every area of your life? Of course not! Don't forget your strengths! You might say, “It was unwise of me. Next time I will act differently! Learn from mistakes!
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“I wish I was as beautiful as …”
There is nothing wrong with admiring other people and adopting their positive qualities, but you are you. By comparing yourself to others in a negative context, you belittle your true worth. After all, you are a unique, valuable and interesting person in your own way.
In some of these examples, you might recognize yourself. The problem is that such statements sound plausible and convincing, but in reality they only reflect the way in which you preferred to react to a given situation.
Be aware and pay attention to negativity in your internal dialogue. Every time you notice a negative statement, question it. Where is the evidence that this is exactly the case? Is this always true? Remember: your words are incredibly powerful!
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Eliminate these words from your vocabulary:
- Always: it never happens. Everything flows, everything changes!
- Never: it never happens! (see above)
- I can't: maybe not now, but if you want something, you will find a way to achieve it.
- I will not: the same principle is true for these words as for “I cannot”.
- But: an argument with which you can severely limit yourself!
- Try: Just do it! “Do or don’t. Don't try "(Master Yoda, Star Wars).
- Should: don't adjust to other people's expectations or give a negative connotation to what is actually good for you (instead of “I should lose weight” say “I want to lose weight.” When you “want” it gives more motivation than when you "must").
Use the Silva reprogramming exercises to change the negative "logic" inherent in your self-talk into new ways of thinking that empower you. Write down the negative statements you are accustomed to using in speech, indicating the corresponding alternative statements. Replace negative statements with positive ones until the latter become a habit.
When you change the nature of your inner dialogue, you will change your life!
Laura Silva