Everyone has had such a situation when the person with whom you are spending the evening or just chatting, or arguing, says something, and at that moment you definitely understand that something is wrong.
Perhaps the point is not even specifically in what he said, but in how he looked at that moment. For example, his gaze burned a point on your forehead or the interlocutor's leg did not stop shaking.
Scientists have spent decades trying to figure out exactly what these non-verbal cues mean.
It turned out that in some cases these actions may mean nothing at all, while in others they may reflect what the person in front of you is really thinking about and what he feels. Maybe he is now on the verge of a nervous breakdown, or maybe he is trying to deceive you.
Below are some of the most interesting and useful scientific examples on how to correctly read this body language. Materials from Psychology Today, research journals, and books on psychology were used.
Before we start, we want to draw your attention to a couple of important points.
First, context matters. You might think that the fact that the person crossed his arms over his chest may indicate that he is not disposed to communicate. And he really, maybe, just froze.
Secondly, it is important to understand that the gestures themselves are very different depending on where the person is from, and even on his personal characteristics. For example, if a person shakes his head to the sides, then in Russia it will be regarded as denial (“no”). If you are communicating with an Indian, do not be surprised that the same movement will have a positive meaning and mean agreement ("yes").
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If a person shrugs his shoulders, he does not understand what is happening
According to Barbara and Alan Pease, the authors of Body Language, everyone shrugs.
"This is a great example of a universal gesture that is used to show that a person does not understand what you are talking about," they write.
“It's a complex gesture that has three main parts,” they continue. "Open palms to show that nothing is hiding in the hands, raised shoulders to protect the throat from attack, and raised eyebrows, which are a universal, submissive greeting."
Open palms are an ancient sign of honesty
You've probably noticed that when someone vows to speak the truth in court, they place one hand on a religious text and raise their other hand, palm open, into the air. What for?
“The open palm has historically been associated with truth, honesty, loyalty and obedience throughout Western history,” write the Pease couple.
People use their palms to show that they are unarmed and therefore not a threat.
If the intonation of the voice rises or falls - your interlocutor is interested
Whether you like it or not, our voice always gives a degree of interest.
“As soon as a conversation starts, if a woman likes you, her voice will take on a humorous manner,” reports Psychology Today, “while a man’s voice will be one octave lower.”
All our emotions affect the body. Our most sincere smiles lead to wrinkles in certain places, and if you are surprised at something too often, then it is quite possible that your eyebrows will take a raised position.
The index finger sticking out of a tightly clenched fist is a sign of dominance.
If someone stretches out his hand in front of him and openly points his index finger into the distance - this person is clearly trying to show that he is in charge here. However, this method of dominance does not always work.
“This symbol denotes a baton with which the speaker subjugates his audience,” the Pease couple believe. enemy).
If people are following your movements, the conversation is likely to go smoothly
When two people get along with each other, their postures and movements mirror each other. If your best friend crosses his legs, you will most likely repeat this movement after him. If everything goes right on a date, he and she will most likely repeat the same stupid gestures one after another.
“The thing is, we start repeating each other’s movements when we feel a connection,” says psychologist Barbara Fredrickson.
When you look someone in the eye, you get a certain arousal.
“But how exactly it affects you depends on the interlocutor and how you feel about him,” writes organizational psychologist Ronald Riggo.
"A stranger who you perceive as a threat is staring at you … However, if it is an endearing, potential sexual partner, the reaction may be more positive."
Open pose demonstrates power
If you look closely at a person's posture, you can get a couple of clues about how they are feeling.
If someone is leaning back relaxedly, then that person most likely feels power and control over the situation. In fact, the researchers found that even if a child was born blind, if he wins in physical competition, he throws his arms above his head in a V-shape and lifts his chin.
On the other hand, if a person is in a closed position, closes and hugs himself with his arms, his level of cortisol, the stress hormone, increases.
Another study is worth noting. Harvard professor Amy Cuddy and his colleagues have found that communication works the other way too. Taking a "strong pose" will help you feel more confident.
The abundance of gestures shows many different emotions.
Only calm
“Emotion, eye contact and responding to threats, as well as ensuring our survival, are complex functions of the limbic system in the brain,” says former FBI counterintelligence agent Joe Navarro.
"People have expressed their discomfort in this way for millions of years," Navarro concludes. "If a person repeatedly touches their face or hands, they are probably nervous."
“In general, all of these complex stress response mechanisms show how much humans have evolved,” he tells Business Insider.
What are the most common manifestations of anxiety we know? Touching the face and skin on the hands. These actions can be soothing in uncomfortable situations.
“It's funny how often we touch ourselves when we’re energized,” Navarro said.
Did anyone like your joke? - a sure sign of sympathy. Psychologists argue that humor and a positive response to humor play a key role in human development. It is an expression of desire for a relationship, both platonic and romantic.
Leg position matters
“Your feet are the largest area of your body,” says Professor Susan Wizbor of the University of Massachusetts, “so when they move, other people notice it. So, swinging legs - signals of alarm, irritation."
Smile
A light smile, along with direct eye contact, can mean an attempt at seduction.
Riggio's research suggests that people have a certain type of smile that they unknowingly use to seduce someone.
"The next course of action usually demonstrates a positive attitude towards the person - a light smile accompanied by direct eye contact, with a slow glance to the side, while still maintaining a smile," - a note from modern psychology. "Interestingly, a seductive smile can be accompanied by submissive behavior (head tilt down), or dominant - proud and slow glance to the side."
You can use these clues in your daily life to better understand how someone treats you and what to expect from them. But don't forget that body language is a very subjective concept. Not only each nationality, but also each individual has its own characteristics and traits that scientists cannot calculate.
IVAN MATYUKHIN