Every person is born to be happy. However, are there many who can say that he is really happy? Surely, only a few of you will answer in the affirmative. So what is needed for this?
But in our country, more often than not, they do not match. If I want to, then I can't. If I have to, then I don't like it. How to put your affairs in order? If you want to but cannot, then try to learn. Any activity, work is good. You just need to start acting.
We have different desires. But sorting them is also important. For example, the urge to drink is unnatural. It leads to inhibition of personality development. It is required to get rid of such conflicting desires. Actions should lead to personal development. The strategy for working on yourself is to be as good as possible. A person first of all strives to satisfy his desires.
When you choose a goal, then, first of all, find out whether the road you should follow leads to it. If this is not your path, then you need to turn around. Internal forces push us on the right path.
It is known that the tree tends to grow upward. If it does not succeed, then it begins to sprout branches to the side. When the obstacle in its path disappears, it grows up again.
Our club has developed a decision-making technique. It lies in the fact that you need to remember the first thought that came to mind, which is considered correct. If this fails, then you need to rely on fate.
The main thing is to act, do not hesitate. You should not be afraid of mistakes, failure is seven times more beneficial than success.
Trouble helps you realize your mistakes and act right next time. Why exactly seven times? In the brain, positive emotions occupy 35%, and negative ones - 5%. Therefore, when a person feels bad, he begins to think. Failures keep us on our toes, there is no need to be afraid of them, without them there is no development.
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FOR THIS REASON I WOULD LIKE TO REMEMBER THE LEGEND ABOUT THE POLYKRATS PERSTNA
Polycrates, ruler of Fr. Samosa was very lucky. The Egyptian king Amasis gave him advice. He said that if you continue in the same spirit, then at any moment, luck will turn into a major failure, and in order to avoid the envy of the gods, you should choose a valuable thing and throw it away. Polycrates chose his favorite ring and threw it far into the sea.
This loss made the ruler very sad. But one day the fisherman caught a fish, which he sent straight to the king's table. When the cook began to prepare the dish, he took out the lost ring from it. Once again, Polycrates was incredibly lucky, and he began to rely too much on his luck. Once again, he attacked a neighboring state, which led to the terrible death of the ruler.
Circumstances try to change mentally immature individuals. Ideally, you need to change yourself and your vision of the situation. For example, I used to be afraid of heights and avoided going to the mountains. They aroused panic, anxiety in me. Now the mountains beckon and excite me. What happened? Have the mountains changed? No, they stayed the same. I changed myself. A mentally mature and mentally immature person can be in one place, but at the same time live in different worlds.
SIGNS OF MENTAL MATURITY
The mature person acts
A person, mentally immature, directs all efforts to the arrangement of his personal life. For a mature personality, deeds, gaining independence are more important. The personal of such a person is arranged by itself. In my practice, there were some losers who complained about problems finding a second half. I advised them to start earning more. And, indeed, after some time their personal life was getting better, in other words, there were many more options for choosing the second half.
The needs of a mentally mature person depend on their success. An immature person copies them and increases their size.
A mature person arranges his affairs on his own, an immature person wants someone else to do it for her.
A mentally immature person is worried about how he looks. The mature person does not worry about this. But she always looks good. An immature person strives to occupy a high position. Such a person wants to have a lot, but at the same time he is not engaged in personal growth. The situation comes to a mature person by itself. It is a product of personal growth.
Many of my charges have difficulties because they try to appear. You really need to be. So, there is one interesting experiment: stand on tiptoe and note the time that you stand. How long did it take? Unlikely, because this is not your height. You cannot hold this position for a long time. But spiritual growth is limitless.
Of course, you shouldn't forget that the goals must be real. Remember, you started your life with a sperm, which later needed to take first place among millions of others. A small goal will lead to nothing, a large goal will allow you to achieve at least something. For example, can a perpetual motion machine be invented? There is no need to do this. Just as you will never succeed in re-educating another person, you don't have to try. Setting small goals is characteristic of neurotic natures.
At the same time, it should be borne in mind that you can break up with your wife (husband), and quit your job. And only from yourself there is no escape. Therefore, first of all, you need to like yourself. Many people argue with this statement when thinking about children. They are only in fourth place. Children will leave, and much earlier than it happens physically. At the age of 12-14, they already begin to despise their parents, do not understand them. At the age of 20, with the right upbringing, the child leaves home and is completely separated. But a family, if built correctly, can last much longer, both 40 and 50 years.
You cannot live only for the sake of a child. He must be brought up so that he can feed himself already at the age of 20. Moreover, he must break not only with children, but also with parents. Development is due to the fact that our children do not obey us. Otherwise, we would be living in a cave. Anything new causes protest.
THREE STAGES OF INNOVATION IMPLEMENTATION CAN BE DIVIDED:
- it cannot be;
- there is something in it;
- that's the only way it should be.
I would like to say a little about what is called fate. How to get out of the life scenario? Initially, a person is programmed to grow, but "viruses" start to act, and he makes circles. According to fate, a person must move higher and higher. Maslow also said that there would be no end to complaints, but by their level one can judge the level of needs.
For example, a person complains about the lack of a car - this is one thing, but if he wants a garage, then this is a completely different level. To change fate, you need to exit the script. Change yourself, then the scenario will change. And the main thing that is necessary is to have a good opinion of yourself.
We are all exceptions created in a single copy, therefore always the first. One should not copy another, one should make oneself. Everyone knows the proverb that a soldier should dream of becoming a general. Over the years, I've rethought it. I came to the conclusion that one must dream of becoming a general in order to be a good soldier. If you don't do anything, how can you be helped? You need to get out of the swamp of your fate. The main thing is that the dirt that remains on you after that does not grow and tighten again.
Don't be afraid to look stupid, be afraid to be. This is a common known truth. Don't be afraid of being judged. You need to use your capabilities, but you should not go beyond them.
Work for yourself. Don't think about others
If you do this, you will notice how quickly the quality of activity will increase. After all, the result is, in fact, the product of a properly organized activity. For example, the main thing for a doctor is to prescribe the right treatment. Do not worry that the recommendations will not be followed, this is not the business of a specialist. You need to stop focusing on others and focus on your work.
If you want to save yourself, do not evaluate yourself as your neighbor evaluates you
Back in the Middle Ages, the famous writer said: "I can make you talk well about yourself, but you can't make you think well." Therefore, you do not need to look at others. It's important to follow your own path. There is no need to go for happiness. A man in search of happiness resembles an old woman who has lost the glasses that are on her head.
One of the common aphorisms is that if you want to find out where your main enemy is, look in the mirror. Only we ourselves can harm ourselves. And only we can fix everything. Self-development and self-knowledge are the only keys leading to success.
Mikhail Litvak