Surely everyone has heard the expression "heavy man". When they say so, they do not necessarily mean character traits and demeanor. There are people who are lovely, charming, kind; do not swear, listen carefully to the interlocutor. But after communicating with them, you feel like a squeezed lemon. This is what I mean by heavy. At first, you do not notice the danger, you open up for communication, you do not expect a catch, and after a few minutes your head starts to ache sharply and your health worsens.
The worst thing is if you have to communicate with such individuals at work, and you can't get away from them. That is why I always put on something for protection when going out to people. Most often it is a pendant made of natural stone - a serpentine, amethyst or tiger's eye. It is not necessary to wear it for show, you can hide it under clothes. Silver bracelets or beads from the same natural semi-precious or semi-precious stones give good protection. Well, and the pin, pinned in a hidden place "from the evil eye", is generally a classic of the genre.
Once it so happened that I didn't take any of the above with me, it didn't work out. I was in a hurry to the event, grabbed a dictaphone and a camera, glanced at the clothes to make sure that I was not wearing a T-shirt inside out and ran.
The meeting was simple, well, what could be more harmless than a “matinee” for people with disabilities in a local rehabilitation center.
The hall was gradually filling up with the participants of the meeting, and with each guest who came, I became worse and worse. No, they were quite nice people, sociable, "bright", cheerful, despite their many illnesses. They talked animatedly in anticipation of the event, greeted friends. I must say right away that they did not have any nightmarish deviations or injuries: someone with a cane or without it at all, someone limps, but keeps cheerfully. The age of disabled people is very different - from retirement to quite youthful. The disease does not spare anyone and life situations are different. I especially remember the "girl", I put this word in quotes, because it was difficult to determine the age of the girl by eye. She looks young, in behavior, a child of ten years old, and upon closer examination it became clear that the lady is well over thirty. You understand,people with such diseases remain young for a long time, they do not have heavy thoughts, they frown, so their forehead is not wrinkled.
The “girl” was actively getting to know the people sitting next to me, periodically glancing in my direction, but I stubbornly pretended to take notes in a notebook. Her joyful loud voice made me feel really bad. I hurried out into the lobby, firmly deciding that I would watch the concert from there, take a couple of photos, talk to the organizers, wait for some official for an interview and leave quickly.
The social workers I knew looked at my tortured face with sympathy, offered me sweet tea or coffee. I felt a little better. And here for the first time I drew attention to what those who every day communicate with such a contingent and daily take upon themselves the pain and grief of others look like. Young women with extinguished eyes, diligently pretending that they are well. They age early, fade quickly. Communication with sick people kills, absorbs their vital energy.
I asked about a “special” client, and social workers confirmed that “bright” people, like that girl without age, stretch their souls, in the literal sense of the word.
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Of course, they will not tell you about this in any official conversation, as they say, on the record. But in a private conversation they will confirm that there is nothing worse and harder than working as a “sympathizer”. Taking care of a seriously ill person, communicating with a mentally unbalanced person, “distributing” compassion is hard work. Psychologists confirm that burnout is an occupational disease of social workers. As an esoteric with experience, I can say that energy depletion occurs.
The disease in itself does not contribute to the improvement of character, therefore, if a person before disability was, to put it mildly, with a difficult character, then an injury or injury will not make him kinder or more tolerant. From an energetic point of view, a sick person becomes a vampire. He draws the missing strength in other people and the more he brings others around, the better he is morally and even physically.
It was impossible to sit endlessly behind the scenes of the holiday. I went into the hall, covered myself with a camera, and began to shoot what was happening. By the way, it was much easier to look at the audience through the lens than live.
It all ends someday. I went home on foot through the park in order to somehow "breathe". I entered the apartment and I barely had enough strength to pull off my clothes, throw them into the washing machine and crawl to the shower. After the cleansing ritual, it became a little easier, but the energy did not increase. My head was splitting, I was shivering. Barely rearranging her legs, she crawled to the bed and buried herself in the blanket. After two hours of restless naps, I got up with the feeling that I had just returned from a terrible drinking binge, where everything was in the way and in huge quantities. There was no strength at all and only in the evening after two more trips to the shower and working with a burning candle, the energy recovered.
It is foolish, of course, it is her own fault that she hastened and did not wear protective amulets. But at that moment it did not even occur to me that an innocent event for the disabled would take away so much mental strength. Later I learned that people with congenital mental retardation "vampire" unconsciously, without malicious intent. It's just that a powerful field of madness is being created around them, which needs donors. Dark waters cover anyone who doesn't defend himself in time. So I almost fell under their influence.
Well, in the life of even the most powerful esotericist there are times when he loses vigilance. After this incident, even going out to the store for bread, I put on some simple protective amulet. Heavy people are found at every step and it is better to put reliable protection against them in time.
