Managing anger does not involve suppressing it, avoiding negative manifestations of this powerful feeling. The main thing here is to learn how to manage your emotions.
The Mayo Clinic believes that anger management is the process of recognizing early signs of an impending emotional outburst. Recommendations make it possible to cope with it, turning it into positive energy. However, anger management does not aim to avoid or contain it. This is a natural emotional reaction of the body that will be beneficial if you know how to express it correctly.
In other words, anger management does not involve suppressing it, trying to avoid negative manifestations of this powerful feeling. The main thing here is to learn how to manage your emotions.
Everyone is subject to sudden, uncontrollable outbursts of anger, from which loved ones suffer. Lack of control over powerful emotional outbursts sometimes lead to tragic consequences, for example, physical injury. To avoid this, it is very important to be able to stay in control.
In everyday life, each person is faced with a huge number of situations that can provoke outbursts of anger of varying degrees of intensity:
Sudden disconnection of the Internet connection; Purposeful, boring demands of children, their crying; Lack of understanding with colleagues, bosses;
The list is endless. But the result is always the same - a surge of energy, which is accompanied by swearing and assault. There is an opportunity to effectively manage such negative manifestations.
Tips to help you stay calm:
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Finding a rational solution
You should not focus on the annoying object; you need to find a way to prevent a situation when emotions reach their maximum intensity. Self-organization and self-control should be included here.
For example, children get sick with their whims. To solve the problem, you should interest them, find a fun activity. If a friend or relative does everything in spite of everything, you need to talk with him, find a compromise.
Anger always worsens the situation; it cannot be used to unleash conflict situations. Understanding this makes it possible to launch mechanisms for finding a peaceful and constructive solution to problems.
Forgive and forget
Accepting an apology is an effective means of preventing the outburst of anger, which will cause an unpleasant feeling, provoke anger and anger in others.
The ability to accept apologies and forgive people who “annoy”, even if very strongly, is an indicator of a rational approach to solving conflict situations. It is also a lesson for an opponent who will understand that fierce confrontation will lead to nothing good.
Apologies, their acceptance will give you the opportunity to think about your act, behavior that led to negative consequences and the creation of a conflict situation. Such a scheme will be the right way to prevent angry clashes, to avoid unwanted consequences, feelings of annoyance, depression, emptiness.
Listening skills
The ability to listen to the interlocutor, and in some cases the opponent or the object that causes irritation, allows you to achieve his location. In addition, the manifestation of active attention instantly creates emotional contact and reduces the degree of heat, thoughts about the need to act aggressively gradually go away.
Another important factor formed during active listening is trust, which finally smooths out the conflict situation. It is important here to really show interest in the interlocutor.
This leads to such important moments, pacifying the opposing side:
- Testifies of the manifestation of care;
- Indicates empathy;
- Evidence that the other person's thoughts are of interest.
- These moments make up for the lack of understanding, which prevents the accumulation of negative emotions and their transformation into an angry outburst.
Relaxation techniques
Basic breathing exercises can help calm the storm of emotions quickly. The most common method is deep breathing. You can also close your eyes during this exercise and think about something pleasant, desired. You can convince yourself to relax, distract yourself from the annoying factor.
Cognitive restructuring method
Often, irritation grows exponentially when it comes to the understanding that the situation cannot be influenced. Here, increasing anger will not bring a positive practical result, but will only aggravate the situation. To solve it with minimal problems for oneself, it is necessary to realize and accept the inability to exert any influence.
For example, if in a cafe the waiters confused the orders, then the shouting and angry threats of the client will not help to correct the situation as soon as possible. Better to understand this and stay calm.
PS All of the above techniques can be applied in combination or separately. Here you should act depending on the situation. These simple ways to deal with anger, allow you to avoid emotional, physical damage, to gain the disposition of others.
It must be remembered that aggression does not make the world and a person better, but it is a natural reaction that must be effectively managed.