The stable expression "hold a candle" is most often used in two directly opposite contexts. If a person wants to declare that he does not know anything about the details of the intimate life of certain individuals, he says: "Did I hold a candle?"
On the contrary, a person who is extremely knowledgeable in this matter confirms the fact of his extensive knowledge with the statement: "Exactly, I held the candle myself!" Let's figure it out: where did this expression come from and where does the first wedding night in the era of Ancient Russia come from?
The first wedding night in Russia
Let's start with the fact that in different countries there are very bizarre traditions associated with the first wedding night. For example, in some African tribes, the groom, in a fit of passion, knocks out the bride's two front teeth. And in Mexico, newlyweds, on the contrary, abstain from sex for several days after marriage. Our ancestors also attached great importance to the emergence of intimate relationships between newlyweds. In ancient Russia, a wedding was a strictly regulated ritual action from start to finish. Of course, the wedding night is no exception.
In Russia, a special marriage bed was prepared for the young, laying various ritual objects and charms under it, which were supposed to protect the new family from the evil eye and damage, as well as ensure prosperity and healthy offspring. Such items included: poker, juniper twig, log, rye sheaf, bag of flour. The marriage bed was high, the more featherbeds the better.
Everyone, relatives and friends, accompanied the newlyweds to the bedroom. At the same time, the tipsy guests had to behave as fun as possible. They sang obscene ditties, joked, and gave the newlyweds dirty advice. The goal of this whole action was noble: people wanted to help the often inexperienced bride and groom to relax, tune in to the right wave, and overcome natural embarrassment.
The groom's friend had to hit the marriage bed with a whip several times in order to drive away all evil spirits from there. Then the young entered into an intimate relationship. However, they were not left alone. The groom's older relatives - father or brother - literally spied on the intercourse, holding candles in their hands, since there was simply no other lighting in those days.
Promotional video:
Why were they peeping?
There were several reasons for this seemingly strange behavior of relatives. The lack of closeness between the spouses meant the impossibility of procreation, and it was for this purpose that family unions were concluded in Ancient Russia. And the fact of intercourse had to be attested for the marriage to be considered valid.
Also, relatives were afraid that the bride would be replaced in the dark. Sometimes, if a girl did not want to become the wife of a particular guy, she could quietly escape from the marital bed, and some girl took her place. This was done in order to put everyone in front of the fact in the morning: this guy is now the husband of a completely different person.
And if the groom did not cope with his task, his brother or father could replace him on the marriage bed. This is how our ancestors guaranteed that the child would belong to their family if the bride became pregnant immediately after being deprived of her innocence.
After the adoption of Christianity, this tradition has undergone some changes. The Church insisted that spouses should be each other's only sexual partners. Orthodox clergymen also sharply condemned the landlords, who enjoyed the feudal right of the first night. Therefore, the idea has taken root among the people that it is her groom who should deprive a girl of her innocence. And instead of older relatives with a candle at the door of the newlyweds' bedroom, a matchmaker began to "watch". However, sometimes tipsy guests joined her, who joked and laughed, openly spying on the young, did not let them fall asleep, urging the groom to take action.
After the act took place, the marriage was considered confirmed, and this was loudly announced to all other guests and relatives.
Master and servant
It is interesting that the expression "to hold a candle" is associated not only with the traditions of the first wedding night in Russia. Since people simply did not have other lighting for many centuries, many nobles forced their servants and lackeys to stand near their beds with candles. The reason is clear: try to unlace the corset in the dark.
Not wanting to go to bed by touch, the master and his wife ordered the courtyard peasant or woman to light them by the bedside. Some not shy nobles could have sex at the same time. Actually, they did not consider a serf a servant for a person. After the owners had safely fallen asleep, the footman could leave his post.
You ask: why was it necessary to have a person? Can't you just put a candle at the head of the bed? The answer is simple: it is dangerous to fall asleep with a lit candle, if you do not blow it out before bed, a fire can occur. Fearing to slip into sleep with an open source of fire by the pillow, many nobles trusted the right to stand with a candle at their bedside only to trusted servants. Such a lackey, of course, was well aware of all the details of the private life of the owners.
A similar practice existed in the countries of Western Europe. At one time, there was a popular anecdote about an English lord who could not satisfy his wife. Then he allowed the servant, who was holding a candle by the bed, to replace himself on the marriage bed. And he got up with a candle. After the servant had completed the task, the lord instructively said to him: "Well, now you understand how to hold a candle?"
French version
In France, there is a common expression: Que voulez-vous! Je n'y ai pas tenu la chandelle. It also means, “What do you need? I didn't hold a candle. " The origin of this expression is associated with the famous engraving "Messalina in Liziska's closet" by the Italian artist Agostino Carracci (1557-1602).
The painter depicted a genre scene that took place in one of the many brothels of ancient Rome. In the engraving, a man and a woman indulge in carnal pleasures. Meanwhile, the hostess of the den is standing over them with a candle. This woman, of course, can call herself a person who is aware of the details of someone else's intimate relationship.
Agostino Carracci's engraving became popular in France, where this painting is called "Holding a Candle".
Perhaps the stable expression we are talking about has several sources of origin at once. But all of them, in one way or another, are connected with the problem of lighting housing, which people faced before the era of electricity.