It may not be as scary as you currently imagine.
Someone said that death is the last and most amazing adventure in our life. However, we vaguely imagine what awaits us there. Participants of the "show" do not write about this on Instagram and Odnoklassniki, since the ticket in such cases is issued in one way. The cinematic death, when the hero makes a fiery speech, and then closes his eyes and falls silent, has nothing to do with reality. American science journalist Jennie Dear has decided to fill the gap. She has published the book "What is it like to die?" (What Does It Feel Like to Die), where, based on the latest research, conversations with doctors and hospice nurses, has drawn up a kind of "roadmap" that can be useful to you when it comes your turn to go on your last journey.
Which way do you prefer?
Jenny claims that there are four main options for resettlement to another world.
1. Relatively good health followed by sudden death (Alexander Pushkin, Viktor Tsoi, Vasily Shukshin)
2. Gradual deterioration, culminating in death (Zhanna Friske, Alexander Abdulov, Anna Samokhina)
3. Periods of fluctuation from deterioration to improvement, then death (Vladimir Vysotsky, Dmitry Hvorostovsky, Joseph Kobzon)
Promotional video:
4. For many years, the body becomes decrepit and eventually malfunctions as a result of stress, infection or injury. (Lyudmila Gurchenko, Lyudmila Zykina, Nonna Mordyukova).
Most of them will have to use the latter method, since modern medicine makes it possible to maintain life in a sick body for many years.
What happens when a person learns of a fatal diagnosis?
“The shock of facing death face to face has what we call an 'existential slap in the face,'” says Nessa Coyle, a nurse and one of the pioneers of palliative medicine. - The emotional shock from contact with the new reality turns out to be sharper than the physical consequences of the disease. Because there is not a single factor in life that is not threatened by the changes associated with the disease. Your whole old life ends. It's like hitting a stone wall at full speed.
American psychologist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identifies five stages of accepting death:
1. Denial. A person cannot believe that this misfortune really happened to him. But denial is necessary and helps to relieve grief. Otherwise, it can crush even the strongest.
2. Anger. The patient is outraged by the work of doctors, healthy people irritate him. Anger can spread to friends, family members … Finding the culprit, finding the cause - this always helps in part to reduce the pain.
3. Bargaining. We're trying to make a deal with fate. For example: if I get well, then the rest of my life will help other people.
4. Depression. Loss of interest in life is an adequate response to such bad news. We reconsider our life, we ask ourselves: is it worth continuing? What for?
5. Acceptance. This means that we have learned to live with this burden. Yes, I got into a new reality, there is nothing good here. But I have lived an interesting life. The last thing to do is to leave with dignity. This is the last lesson we can teach children.
People do not always go through all five stages, in addition, the order may be different.
The right way to die
Usually people are afraid of the physical pain that accompanies death. However, medicine has learned in a number of cases to effectively relieve bodily suffering. It is more difficult to realize that you have lost control of your life and are completely dependent on others.
In cinema and literature, we often come across a situation where the hero says: "The doctor said that I have only 6 months left!" In reality, this is just a myth, the doctor is unable to predict the future. The only thing he can do is draw an analogy with a patient with a similar medical history. However, there are statistics that say that 40 percent of hospice patients manage to finish their earthly affairs in two weeks and less than a stay in this institution.
By the way, doctors working in hospices describe an amazing phenomenon: some of their patients manage to perceive the period before death as another normal life stage. Moreover, they do not demonstrate fading, but spiritual growth that is noticeable to the naked eye. This effect is observed among people who survived post-traumatic stress: refugees, hostages, soldiers who returned from the war, victims of sexual violence … Freed from their previous life obligations, thanks to the proximity of death, people with deadly diagnoses tried to fix their relationship with the world. They asked for forgiveness from those whom they once offended, tried to communicate more with those whom they loved. They remembered old friends, tried to re-establish contact with them. They wrote or dictated letters to loved ones, explained their views and actions. Finishing things upthey traveled if they had the strength … In other words, people undergo a transformation that made them better. Of course, this does not mean that everyone will become a hero, but such a possibility exists.
YAROSLAV KOROBATOV