I am becoming more and more convinced that developing mindfulness is not an entirely sugar process of spiritual grace. Often times, people who start working on themselves face typical problems along the way. I have collected the most common disadvantages of mindfulness that accompany the process of inner growth.
1. Your circle of friends will decrease. You will begin to notice that the usual conversations with friends and acquaintances somehow do not stick. Everything seems to be as it was, but for some reason less interesting. Because you will no longer be able to maintain conversations that everything is bad and everyone around is bad, work does not inspire and business does not go well, the husband is disgusted and the wife is to blame for everything. You will stop playing games because it takes at least two people to play by the rules. And that is why you will become a very uncomfortable person for your friends, who spoils the whole game and shows with all your looks that the king is naked.
2. It will become difficult for you to work in a job you do not like and do something that makes no sense. Thus, you will either choose to get involved in the current activity as much as possible, or change it radically. If in your old job you were kept by necessity, fear, habit or automatism, it will immediately come to the surface and you will have to do something about it.
3. Your relationship will start to come apart at the seams. Because most relationships are not a solid union of equals, but a tangle of interdependencies and compensation. Feeling that he is losing you, the partner will make every effort to get you back, but you will react to all reproaches with surprise and incomprehension, as to the attempts of an alien to establish contact with you in the Martian language.
4. You will feel lonely. Because all unnecessary and unreal connections that were built on insufficiency, emptiness, consumerism and egoism will fall off. And this new, do not understand where the emptiness formed, at first will frighten you, like a yawning abyss, but gradually it will begin to fill with exactly what is alive and present in you.
5. You cannot deceive yourself or others. Almost physically (like Pinocchio with a growing nose) you will feel any inner untruth - in words, thoughts and actions. And it will be just disgusting, because every time you say something that is not what you really think, you will feel the grinding of cat claws in your soul. And no, it doesn't turn off.
6. You suddenly find that people around you suffer greatly. And they do not suffer from a hard life - on the contrary, everything is in perfect order with their lives. They suffer from the illusion that something is wrong with their lives. And if earlier you were too busy living through your own suffering - now you will begin to experience all the suffering of the people around you, because your own will no longer be there. And at this moment you will have only one thing - to help everyone and everyone at every moment of time, with what you can - because it will simply be impossible in another way.
7. You will feel ashamed. For many of your past words and actions, because you have to face the truth and admit that the source of all your problems is not someone from the outside, but yourself. Once you realize this, the shame will go away, and inner peace will finally take its place.
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8. You will talk less. Because everything that you said out of fear, envy, selfishness and anger will fall off. You will no longer be able to write judgmental comments on social networks, because it will cease to be important and necessary. And in general, for some time you will not be able to write anything at all, because everything that you wrote before will seem to you nonsense. And it turns out that silence is really gold, which we often do not notice because of the hustle and bustle and fast pace of events replacing each other.
9. Your picture of the world will collapse. And you will understand that there is not only your correct opinion and all the others are wrong, but an endless space of options and possibilities. And all the restrictions are nothing more than an illusion you have invented.
10. You will have to take responsibility for yourself. You will understand that you have nothing to expect from anyone, and no one owes you anything. Everything that is in your life does not depend on external factors, a stupid boss, an incomprehensible partner and the bitcoin rate, but on yourself. You live exactly the life you deserve, and you will have nothing else until you take responsibility for what you have. But it is at this moment that personal responsibility will cease to be a burden from which one must flee, sparkling with heels or dump it on others, it will become the only true and logical order of things.
And so, day after day, everything superficial, artificial and hypocritical will begin to crumble, exposing the inner voids. And all the present - will come to light, grow, break through, strengthen and take root in you. And this is far from a gentle and pleasant process. Often this is a crushing break of habits and automatisms acquired over the years. But when you get out of the wreckage of your shattered mental templates, you will know that it was worth it.
Author: Katerina Bogina