"Pull your thoughts away from problems … by your ears, by your heels, or by any other means possible." - Mark Twain.
According to an old Cherokee Indian, a terrible battle is taking place in our minds right now. Two wolves are fighting inside us. The first is bad: it is full of anger, envy, resentment, greed, sadness, condemnation, inferiority, criticism and doubt. The second is good: it is full of joy, gratitude, love, kindness, empathy, understanding, confidence, compassion, and clarity. This struggle is going on within you right now, even if you do not notice it.
"Which wolf will win?" - you ask how the grandson of the Indian did it. “The wolf that you feed,” the wise grandfather replied. Your thoughts are two wolves. When you feed a bad wolf, your mind becomes unclear. You cannot get rid of a bad wolf. He lives inside you for a reason. Personal growth is about full acceptance of yourself, not trying to hide your own flaws. Taming a bad wolf (not killing him) is what will help you neutralize your own thoughts so that they don't hurt and hurt you.
Let the thoughts just be, don't cling to them
“The world we have was created in the process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our consciousness. - Albert Einstein
Your thoughts can eat you alive.
It's okay to have emotions and thoughts. The problem is that you let them take over your behavior. If you identify with your feelings and thoughts, you lose perspective.
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There is nothing wrong with thinking. It helps us understand issues and make decisions. Problems arise when your judgmental wolf takes over and you are trapped in your thoughts.
Too many thoughts distract you, take you away from the essence. Your inner wolves can cloud your mind. And then they start to eat you alive. Piece by piece.
The cause of the “chain reaction” accidents is not amateur drivers. Fog affects our perception, and this provokes collisions. Fog lowers contrast significantly, making objects appear more blurry and subtle.
Your thoughts have the same effect as fog
The Mandelbaum Effect, the tendency of the eyes to focus on nearby objects in poor visibility conditions, cloudes our vision. We stop noticing everything else. Your inner wolves also cloud your vision. Letting anxiety, fear, and stress take over your thoughts can lead to head clouding.
Driving in fog is risky. This is why it is wise of you to slow down your vehicle. When the fog clears, visibility is normal again. The reality did not change while it was foggy. The fog only affected your vision.
The Science Behind Our Thoughts. “I think, and think, and think, my thoughts have taken me away from joy a million times, but never brought me closer to it.” - Jonathan Safran Foer
Our state of mind is like a wild wolf. As Chögyam Trungpa, author of Sanity, explains, our minds “contain memories of the past, dreams of the future, and the fickleness of the present. We consider this to be a problematic situation. You need to tame your wild wolf. Learning to distance yourself from thoughts will keep the wolves from eating you alive.
"Diffusion" is a term coined by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to describe the ability to separate oneself from one's own thoughts. Conversely, "fusion" means immersion in thoughts and giving them the right to control our behavior.
In his book The Therapy of Acceptance and Responsibility in Simple Words, Russ Harris writes that "diffusion" is:
- look at thoughts, not through them; • notice thoughts, but not succumb to them;
- Allowing thoughts to come and go without clinging to them.
Thoughts do not control our actions, unless we allow them to do so. Remember not to overfeed your bad wolf. Neither your thoughts nor your emotions can determine how you behave. Don't identify with what you are suffering from.
We cannot escape our own thoughts (or emotions), but we are able to decide what to do in spite of them. Tame your inner wolves instead of killing them.
Harris suggests doing the following exercise to test this for yourself. Repeat to yourself, "I cannot raise my hand." Say it over and over. Raise your hand while continuing to repeat, "I cannot raise my hand." So you raised your hand in spite of your own thoughts, right? But you most likely doubted.
You are used to believing what your mind tells you, so it is very easy to mislead you. Realizing the power of your thoughts is the first step to freeing yourself from their influence.
How to "neutralize" your thoughts - exercises. "Life is a comedy for those who think, and a tragedy for those who feel." - Jin Reisin
You cannot control the moments when your wolves attack, but you can avoid the fate of being eaten alive. When you react to what's in your head, you allow your thoughts to take you away from the present moment and turn on “life on autopilot”.
As John Kabat-Zinn, author of Relieving Stress Through Mindfulness, writes: “Mindfulness means paying attention to something in a particular way; on purpose, at the moment and without judgment. It is the practice of assessing the extent to which we identify with our ideas and beliefs, creating space for:
- awareness, not thinking;
- openness and curiosity, not condemnation;
- flexibility of attention.
Mindfulness is not a distraction method; it is not meant for you to avoid your thoughts. If negative feelings arise, notice them and move on.
Try the following simple techniques to help you reduce the influence of your thoughts. Check the ones that work best for you, customize them and use them. The goal is not to drown out your thoughts - or wolves, but to keep them from blurring your vision.
1. Label your thoughts
The practice of meditation is not about eliminating thoughts, but about opening up to them. When you stop fighting the bad wolf, you gain control. When a thought comes up that wants to distract you, just label it. Say to yourself "thought" or "wolf." You can use this exercise not only when you are meditating.
2. Objectify your own thoughts
By turning your thoughts into an object - in this case, wolves - you can neutralize their influence. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine that your thoughts are wolves. What color are they? How big are they? What sounds do they make? How close are they to you? Play with your thoughts by changing size, color, sound and shape
wolves.
3. Treat your mind like a wolf
Imagine that your mind is a talking wolf. "You spoke again, my mind." "Wolf, you've said that before." "My inner wolf is always responsive and worried." The purpose of this exercise is to listen to the voice of the mind as if it were coming from an animal and not from you. When someone else speaks, it seems less personal.
4. Question what your mind says
React with skepticism, don't believe everything your mind says. "I'm not buying it." "Really, how is that?" "Who said that?" When you question your own thoughts, you stop taking them at face value.
5. Turn your emotions into a noun
Think back to the last time you regretted what happened to you. Share these moments with your loved one using the adjectives: "I lost the last two tennis matches, I am a loser."
Every time you share something, the other person has to rethink it by turning adjectives into nouns. The goal is to make the story positive: "No, you are not a loser, you just lost two matches in a row."
6. Classify your own thoughts
Not all wolf attacks are created equal. Challenging exactly what you are experiencing in the moment provides clarity. In addition, identifying your type of thinking will help you gain deep understanding and awareness. Whenever you feel threatened by your wolves, express your thoughts out loud using one of the following formats:
I think…
I feel…
I believe…
I remember…
I release …
I have a physical symptom …
7. Have fun:
Humor solves all problems, especially those caused by our way of thinking. When you stop taking your inner wolves - and yourself - seriously, you can relax and stop responding. Here are a few ways to help you clear your hazy thoughts using a humorous approach:
- Play with your own voice: experiment with different tones. Imagine yourself as a cartoon character, child, comedian, wolf, and so on.
- Treat your thoughts like a wolf: "My bad wolf is trying to distract my attention …" or "Sorry, my bad wolf, but I ran out of food for you."
- Become a helicopter: imagine how you lift off the ground and climb higher and higher, moving away from your own thoughts.
- Change lenses: Imagine wearing glasses with cloudy lenses. What happens when you put on your new clear lens glasses?
- Create a song: turn your thoughts into words, sing them out loud.
How do you deal with your inner wolves? How do you tame your own thoughts?