When I was 17 years old, a woman, a psychic, came to visit us. She personally knew Djuna Davitashvili and taught non-contact treatment with her hands. She invited me to take an astral journey. After 5-6 minutes of walking around the room, I really somehow found myself out of the body in some unknown way. Down the tunnel into the bright light. As I flew into starry space, I saw people walking along the lunar path to a bright star, accompanied by two other creatures with wings and hovering above them. “You can't go there, it's still early,” I heard a voice. I no longer felt my body. Before my eyes there was a screen through which I saw everything.
"Whom you want to see, that you will see!" The voice was heard again. “The great Leonard Da Vinci,” I thought to myself, and immediately found myself in his studio, drawing someone's portrait with his hand … I saw many of his works, which I have never seen anywhere. He burned many of these works, and I was a casual witness of his actions … At that time, I was studying at an art school, I wanted to become an artist. After this incident, I discovered a talent for sketching. And he drew constantly. Up to 100 sketches per day. I was then called obsessed or a fan. That year, on viewing, I submitted a huge number of drawings. And only for the quantity he received "excellent".
But extrasensory studies fascinated me. A year later, the gift of seeing human diseases was revealed. I closed my eyes and saw the diseased organs. From a distance he could relieve a headache or toothache. Even then they called me a magician … The next stage was fortune telling on cards or by hand. Moreover, I did not study all this. I just watched and saw this or that event … The predictions came true. A lot of people came to me and asked who to tell fortunes, who to heal. I've done both, and it's completely free. I honestly thought I was helping people. Now I understand: man is a weak creature, and very easily succumbs to such a plan of trick. Vanity! It really blinds …
Then he became interested in yoga and gymnastics wu-shu. And then I quickly achieved success. At the same time, I did not study in any centers. I opened the book and saw images that taught me everything. Concentrating on the will in the center of the abdomen, I could pierce with my index finger a stitched bundle of newspapers that was thrown into the air, 45 sheets thick. And at sparring woo shu, I just let some spirit control me. Later they asked me which master I studied with, they had never met such a technique. But soon I got tired of this hobby. I wanted something more mystical. And the demons found something to offer me. The next step, and I became interested in esotericism - the Roerichs, Blavatsky and Shambhala. Still, how competently they throw baits and set traps! Avidly read all the books on Agni Yoga and the Rose of the Winds. I bought volumes of Blavatsky. On my astral travels, I attended some secret meetings of "lamas". I will not describe. I only know that all this is not from God. Everything is too dark, mysterious and tricky. Although the wrappers are colorful, white and, as it were, correct, the spirit that hovered in these books was gloomy and proud.
The final stage of my "ascent" was a meeting with a magician in the mountains of Kazakhstan. By this time, I was fond of Castaneda's books. And in reality I meet such a magician. I took the path of magic. The trap is closed. He opened a different world for me. We met almost every day, spent 8-12 hours together. I began to see the auras of people, various objects, and finally, I saw some creatures, very powerful and insidious. It seemed to me that the world is exactly the way I see it now. There was a sense of specialness. I dispersed clouds and clouds, or vice versa, I created rain in the desert. Dropping a person at a distance or becoming invisible to others was not a problem for me. He treated various diseases besides cancer. There was no cure for cancer. Taboo.
Our team of magicians also included psychiatrists. Conducted classes with people. So, more than 80% of the people who came were people in a sluggish state of schizophrenia.
And this nuance of psychiatrists was very surprising. Through the eyes of the magician, schizophrenia was determined by the presence of "tails" and the mobility of the "center". By tying these tails, the person became normal. But after visiting an Orthodox church, they (tails) were untied. I will say more that we observed very often how "some shaggy black-and-gray" creatures of inorganic origin joined these tails. They are constantly around people, in search of profit or food. And a person became uncontrollable if he got close to them, or, on the contrary, fell into complete subordination. It happened that a person with such deviations had powers and abilities, inhuman. For the magician, too, such tails were necessary. Thus, the magician and the schizophrenic have a lot in common.
Do not think that mental illness is acquired like a runny nose. Such a punishment is given for sins. Why do people with mental disorders go into magic? Because magic is already madness. This is the lack of faith in the Lord, in His providence and care for us. But my own epiphany did not happen immediately …
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In general, we did not take money. They were very critical of sorcerers, psychics, and various healers. They scoffed at the Hare Krishnas and the "rogue" a little. We saw the nature of their actions and who is around them. From whom they received the "blessing." Many only shook the air, and thank God that not all were able to “heal” people. And whoever succeeded, clearly did not suspect that they were sitting on the hook of an inorganic being, among the people - a demon. We ourselves did not hesitate to help them. The price was just different, we thought so, and we were terribly wrong. The price is one, the soul was attached to evil spirits and itself could become like its "master".
We considered ourselves a white caste. Dreaming (receiving information in a dream, controlled sleep), stalking (controlling consciousness, and not only one's own), controlled stupidity (foolishness and the ability to wishful thinking). For 5 years I have lived in the world of magicians. Those tricks that are shown on TV on RTR are just nonsense and children's toys compared to what we did … Why did I tell in such detail about my life in magic? It's just that my heart hurts when I see people walking this deceitful path. This whole world is made up of traps. Demons surround us constantly. Like piranhas waiting for prey. And as soon as a reason arises, they pounce on a person and destroy the human soul. The more attachments and habits people have, the easier it is for them to manage people. We are engaged in idle talk, watching TV - these moments are best for them. The unconsciousness of our life gives them power over us.
In many ways, they can fool a person. Throw a thought on him, impose an opinion, furnish the environment in such a way that a person has nowhere to go but to follow the path they have planned. “Yes, like nothing, everything is ok! And I get money, and I don't have to work too much. Nice, easy way. There is nothing to infringe on yourself. It is with these thoughts that they justify human sinful deeds. I'll tell you two more stories from my life. Already new, after baptism. These cases characterize well the nature of man and demon.
Once I go to the temple, I meet two elderly women who swear and swear on what the world is. And suddenly, as in a previous life, I saw behind the backs of these women a dirty, furry demon. They threw themselves at each other with some kind of clay, conveying to each other, as it were, hello. Meanwhile, the women were pouring mud at each other more and more. Until that day, I had not seen their true nature. Crossing myself, I quickened my pace towards the temple. Second case. Once I witnessed how a young devil threw a little kitten under the wheels of a car. But the driver reacted to the fluffy lump that ran out onto the road and turned the steering wheel. The car swept past. And the kitten rushed home, across the road. But how annoyed this demon was that he did not destroy a living being!
But I will add one more thing. Besides demons, we are surrounded by angels. I also happened to see them once. I don't know why I, a sinner, do this. It can be seen that there is little faith in me or it is weak, since such proofs are required for me. Explicit and obvious. And now no one can convince me by saying that there is no God, or there is no life after death. Having been on the other side of the barricades, in the war of good and evil, I will tell you about the tricks of the demonic. The main task of the demon is to capture, to bind the human soul to its tail. More precisely, I will say, to grow a certain tail in a person, for which he will hold his soul when the soul goes to God. And there may be several such tails. The more - the more the soul will be attached. Tails can be called human habits, passions, weaknesses. They all have their origin in the human soul. Where did they come from in a pure human soul,given by God? A man once admitted demons to himself. It is very difficult for a demon to fall into the depths of our subconscious, conscience is always on guard. But committing acts contrary to conscience, "unconscious" actions (in our time, this is watching TV, films, idle talk and unbridled laughter, empty games - there are many temptations.)
Another way is through sleep. I think this is a sore subject for many. Sleep is like a small death. In a dream, a person becomes available. And people who do not call the Lord before sleep to protect the soul during a small death, become victims of demons. Gaining access to the subconscious, the demon lays in it weedy diseased shoots, which then, like mold, begins to grow, putting down roots. Later, they turn into passions, habits. Only demons furnish everything in ordinary life in such a way as to allow these sprouts to germinate. They create greenhouse conditions. And as soon as the first shoots (tails) appeared, they try in every possible way to kindle passions in the soul, through temptations and temptations. “The conscience in such a person falls asleep and is no longer able to remind him of the immortal soul and the true blessings for which he was created. And the more a person gets bogged down in passions,all the more, his soul moves away from the Source of life, is deprived of His sweetest contemplation and spiritually dies, for there is no life outside of God”(St. Tikhon of Zadonsk and his teaching on salvation).
And a few more words about dreams. Having access to the subconscious of a person, evil spirits can use familiar images for even more complete control over a person. More than once, while in a dream, I observed how "inorganic beings" pretend to be different people, objects or animals. This applies to those who consider dreams as some kind of clues or use dream books. Using templates from dream books, it is very easy for the spirits of darkness to impose faith in people. They will show a dream, and then in life they will play a performance that confirms the dream. I repeat, it will not be difficult for them to provoke an event or misfortune. Moreover, now they are the masters of life. All! The man is trapped. He believes in dreams, not in God's providence. For this reason, I urge everyone, do not believe in dreams!
But the end had to come. I had to urgently leave for Moscow, for family reasons. Then my life went downhill. I didn't understand what was happening. The family collapsed, abilities began to disappear somewhere. I rolled downhill. Tried everything. There were drugs or a noose left.
“Wherever the sinner is, everywhere this tormentor is inseparable with him, everywhere he torments and devours him” (Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk). I tried at first to find the basis of life in Islam. All the relatives are Muslims. But somehow the soul did not lie. The posts are strange, you don't eat or drink all day, but as the sun goes down, eat as much as you like. When I began to get to know Islam better, I did not understand many prayers, although I honestly tried to read them. No, no, yes, he allowed himself to tell fortunes on cards, meditate, etc.
But perhaps someone is praying for me, up there in heaven. (What a word after all - "no-devil"!) I met a girl who believed me. And a few years later, the Lord gave me a child. And then, He revealed Himself to me, and with the blessing of Mother Matrona herself, I was baptized. The Lord knocked on me, in the language I could understand. One night I left my body again. But this time, it happened somehow very quickly. Flying through the starry sky, I found myself in complete darkness. A transparent cube appeared from the void. Another second - and I was sucked into it. The cube from the inside looked like mirrors in which the events of the future were displayed. And not mine, but the whole world. Each plane showed the events of a particular country. I perceived all the pictures at the same time. These events intertwined with each other and influenced each other. As one living being. I will not describe, so as not to lead into temptation. I can only say that I saw events directly related to the Bible and the Apocalypse. Having received the information bomb, I did not know what to do with it. But the Lord arranged everything himself. Somehow for work, I had to go out of town. And the customer gave me a driver. I was met by a young man, a couple of years older than me. The road was long, he crossed himself and drove off. It interested me. Word for word, and I told my last vision.a couple of years older than me. The road was long, he crossed himself and drove off. It interested me. Word for word, and I told my last vision.a couple of years older than me. The road was long, he crossed himself and drove off. It interested me. Word for word, and I told my last vision.
"Have you read the Gospel, the Bible?" He asked me. I replied that no. Then he advised me to go to his spiritual father and tell what he had seen. We agreed to meet in Moscow in a couple of days. So we did it. He took me to the temple where he often goes. The service was going on. And after her, we had to go to the priest. I sat in a corner and looked at the people, at the icons, at how the priests were conducting the service. The singers chanted prayers. And then tears streamed down my cheeks. I sat and cried, sobbed. My heart ached, my soul ached. After the service, the priest received us. He asked me to write down everything he saw and come to him again in a couple of days. Two days later I was again with him. Taking my notes, he said that he would pray for me, and went about his business. This attitude of the priest to my person caused me a storm of emotions. Imagine a man camebroadcasts about the future, but they treated him so coolly and without interest. Now I understand how he behaved correctly. Didn't support my pride, my sense of importance and exclusivity.
A month or two passed, and my mother became very ill. I went to the hospital with a heart. The doctors said that things were bad, that the operation could not be performed, etc. Almost dejected, I complained about my troubles to an old acquaintance who took me to church. He advised me to go to Matushka Matrona at the Intercession Monastery on Taganka. After writing down the address, I hit the road, taking my employee with me. I will say that the demons did not like my decision. The road was not going well. But we still got to the Intercession Monastery. There was a large line to the relics of mother and to the window where the icon was. But we decided to defend. The season was mid-October, but cold enough. It started to snow and rain. I was not baptized. And I didn't know how to behave. I saw people approach, cross themselves, kiss the icon. We stood for about two hours. Our turn was coming. Before us was an old woman. She crossed herself three times, bowed and went up to the icon. And then I felt such a fragrance of flowers. I look around and can't understand anything. I asked the employee if she heard the smell. She said no, that she was completely cold and wanted to go home as soon as possible. And I, as bewitched, felt the aroma and did not feel the cold. I looked at the old woman again, and a thought struck me. What if I witnessed the prayer of this old woman?
Her prayers and mine can now be heard. But who am I ?! Not baptized, former magician, no faith! Do I have the right to ask the Lord for something? And then, before my eyes, an image appeared. “Imagine that you are in your house, invited a friend. And left him for a little while. And then suddenly you see that he walked into the apartment in dirty boots and white carpets. He wipes his dirty hands on your white curtains. He stole a silver spoon from the kitchen. In the nursery he slapped your children, and in your bedroom he mentally desired your wife … Will you let him in next time? And to another house of your parents … And the Lord does the same. And is it not better to have the Lord God as friends than as enemies? It all flashed so lightning fast, so vividly that I stood at a loss. I did not go up to the icon. He just bowed to the ground and went out.
The next day, my mother began to recover. And a week later she was discharged home from the hospital. From that moment on, a different attitude towards Orthodox Christianity began to appear. I have formed a spiritual connection with Matushka Matrona. I can't explain exactly how. But at night, or closer to morning, I often saw my mother's icon and her voice. And somehow I asked her in a dream:
- Mother, I want to enter the church, but I cannot. The temple door is locked!
- So you need to open the door with a key … - to which she answered me.
“Where can I get it?” I ask.
- And where all people carry keys, on their chest, on a string …
Here is the answer. And I realized that I needed to receive holy baptism. I went to my mother the same day to take the blessing. I came, bowed to the ground and asked Matushka Matrona to bless. "Give," I say, "a hint, when and where?" He bowed to the ground and went about his business.
On the same day, in the subway, I meet a man who was selling a calendar with Orthodox holidays and name days. The main cover featured the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God in Kolomenskoye. I bought a calendar, but did not draw any conclusions. I bought and forgot. The next day, also in the metro, in full confidence that I was going home (and I lived at the "River Station"), I read the book "The Life of Matrona of Moscow" and suddenly found myself in the opposite direction, at the "Kolomenskaya" station. Then it finally dawned on me where to go. I got out of the metro and went towards the Kolomenskoye nature reserve, to the desired temple.
After learning what was needed for baptism there, I went home. One issue has been resolved. Where? It is already clear. But when? I think that if so, Mother suggested, she would give a sign again. And, probably, every other day, I have a dream. That I am traveling across the sky in an electric train. Opposite is a young girl in a white and pink headscarf, and to her right is a young priest. To my right was an elderly woman with a child of 7-8 years old, a girl. The girl sang an akathist about entering the temple of the Most Holy Theotokos. I woke up, and did not attach much importance. The day was December 3rd. And only the next day, when I opened the calendar of Orthodox holidays, I realized what this dream was about. I, stupid, made it clear what day, but I did not understand the prompt in time. With a repentant heart, I went to the Pokrovsky Monastery to see my mother for advice. Again I fell to the ground and I beg you to forgive the unreasonable. And only raised his head,as I heard the answer inside myself: "You are Nikolayevich, so you will go under Nikolai …" I was even slightly taken aback. But then, opening the calendar, I saw that December 19 is the day of St. Nicholas the saint. I was so happy, so jubilant! I called the Kolomna church and asked to write in for baptism on December 19. But they told me that on December 19 they do not baptize, a holiday. How they do not baptize! I think - stop! Remember literally … "Under Nicholas." That is, the day before the holiday …Remember literally … "Under Nicholas." That is, the day before the holiday …Remember literally … "Under Nicholas." That is, the day before the holiday …
- Are they baptized on the 18th?
- Yes. At 12 o'clock.
- Write down …
My wife made me a christening gown. I bought a gold cross on a silver chain, and the Gospel.
On December 18, 2004, I was born again. Why do I say so? Not just … I did not tell anyone about my act. My relatives are Muslim. Muslim mother. A conflict would be inevitable. So that's it. My grandmother, at that time, was 94 years old. She is still alive. And on the night of December 18-19, she has a dream (she told this dream to my mother). That she saw me, in a dream, on a white cloud, in white, white clothes, and I tell her something. And she does not understand some other language. Mom and grandmother marveled at this dream. But I immediately understood what was being discussed … Our soul was washed in baptism. Cleansed of sins. And that night I had a different vision. Bright, lively. I have already seen Matushka Matrona herself, living in a house in the village of Sebino. We talked to her. About what?.. It's personal. She prayed for me and my relatives. And blessed on the way.
So, in the future, I go through life with her blessing and consider her to be my second mother. Godmother. And in the events of my life, sometimes I see the providence and care of Matronushka. But about six months later, trials and temptations began to test the strength of my faith. The human enemy could not leave everything without a fight. The abuse was heavy. And when I was almost in despair, our defenders and intercessors came to the rescue - Matronushka and Nikolai the Pleasant. And a little later Seraphim of Sarov and Holy Righteous John of Kranshtatsky, Tsar Martyr Nicholas and Saint John of Japan, Blessed Euphrosyne and for Christ's sake the holy fool Mother Alipia, Optina martyrs monks Trofim, Feropont … Still, how many saints and intercessors of our souls before God! And of course, the Queen of Heaven herself, the Mother of God.
I am very sorry for Muslims. They are deprived of such help. They have no such opportunity to turn to the saints. After all, we are weak people. And without God we cannot achieve anything. All the best from him. God takes care of his children. Who are the children? Probably the one who lives according to the commandments of the Lord Christ. “Love your neighbor as yourself,” said Christ. I have asked the question many times: “But how can you love those who do not love themselves? How to love "homeless people" who stink and are often constantly drunk? " I rode and prayed on the subway about it. And suddenly the following happened. I went into the car and saw a smelly peasant lying on a bench! All were avoiding. I got closer. I looked into his eyes, and then I suddenly saw a small child 4-5 years old instead of a man. It was him, but as a child. In the adult clothes he was wearing now. Smelly, dirty, but CHILD, CHILD,from which all shy away and avoid! But he feels bad, he is in pain, he does not know what to do and no one wants to help. My heart ached. Lord, so we are all for you, little children! And you do not turn away from us, no matter how bad we were.
And now, seeing such people, I cannot pass by indifferently or disgustedly. I see small children abandoned and useless to anyone. And if not materially, then at least I pray to the Lord for them. Indifference is a hardened heart. This is already a dead person. One righteous elder once said: “In the spiritual life of a Christian, love for God occupies the first place, and love for man is second. Let us turn to our conscience: is it pure before our neighbors, do we love them as ourselves, do we help them in their needs, do we care about their salvation? It is difficult for us to answer this in the affirmative, we want to be loved, but we don’t act this way”… John of Kronstadt once said:“Humility, Patience, Repentance - these are three things that can save the soul. It is imperative to develop a skill for these things. Sin in my soul is like stains of soot on a white shirt. And the sinner before God is like a traveler in the wilderness, languishing with heat and thirst. At every opportunity, he tries to hide from the heat, somewhere in the shade, cool. Likewise, a sinner who does not want to endure and does not have the skill of humility and patience, flees from the light of the truth of the Lord God. He runs himself into the pitch darkness. But the best medicine for the ulcers of sin in the soul is Repentance. Conviction of oneself before God. The doctor shows us our wound sores. Treats with iodine. Iodine burns at first, but then dries and heals wounds. Conviction of oneself before God. The doctor shows us our wound sores. Treats with iodine. Iodine burns at first, but then dries and heals wounds. Conviction of oneself before God. The doctor shows us our wound sores. Treats with iodine. Iodine burns at first, but then dries and heals wounds.
We endure, and then relief comes. Likewise, the Lord will convict our sins. Accept them with humility. It will burn with the holy spirit … Be patient and repent. Yes, God is sinful. Everything you talk about is mine. But by your mercy, forgive your weak servant. Cleanse and accept into your kingdom of heaven, under your cover and protection. And I will serve you faithfully until the end of the century.
