I think that almost everyone is familiar with the situation when a relationship with a person is terminated, but nevertheless there are many feelings, thoughts and words addressed to him.
Relationships can end in different ways. Sometimes they seem to come to naught by themselves, and there is no understatement, since the energy has died out in them. But it happens otherwise, the relationship ends, regardless of whether you are ready for it.
An example would be the sudden, as it seems to you, decision of a partner (friend) to end the relationship, the unexpected decision of the boss to fire you, or the death of a loved one. In some cases, it can be said that the interaction is terminated, while the relationship is still alive.
It is the suddenness that can leave a large number of "stuck" reactions. On the one hand, without expecting a break, a person could not express everything that has accumulated over a long period, on the other hand, he has not experienced the reaction to the break itself as such. It also happens that a person was ready for parting, but as the loss is experienced, more and more new feelings arise.
A situation where dialogue is impossible for various reasons can hold a person back for years. Inside themselves, many more than once rehearse dozens of options for a conversation that never took place in reality. What to do when an important conversation for you cannot take place for various reasons. One way to deal with it can be by writing letters.
The purpose of writing a letter is not at all to send it, but to help yourself free yourself from cyclical dialogues (more precisely, monologues) in your head, from strong experiences that are reflected in your whole life. Letters also help in a situation where dialogue is possible, but for some reason you are not ready, you cannot or do not want to speak directly about your experiences. Perhaps the feelings are too complex, the partner's reaction may be scary.
One of the advantages of a "letter without sending" is that there is no need, which is called "watching the bazaar." You can write whatever you want in any form convenient for you. You can ask for forgiveness, make a claim, break out in anger, or confess your love. In short, express all the feelings that you have.
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In the course of a conversation with loved ones or with a psychologist, you can gradually make out all the internal chaos left after the shock. But there are situations when a person has no one to share his experiences with, when all words and feelings and thoughts are spinning in his head, without a sequence, mixed up, and this state only aggravates the state of affairs. This is where another plus of writing letters is connected - ordering. Gradually writing out each word, you put on the shelves everything that happens in your inner world. But for this it is better to write a letter by hand on paper.
So, if this method has inspired you, choose the right time and place where no one will disturb. This is important, since when writing a letter, feelings can rise, tears can roll, for example. And you must have space to experience. You can write about your pain, anger, resentment, or regret. There are no restrictions. Sometimes letters are long, sometimes short, one line, they can be monotonous or inconsistent.
This is not so important, the main thing is that they help you. Let me remind you that this letter is not for sending! The letter is written. You yourself decide how to deal with it. I do not recommend keeping letters, all the same, the main point of the technique is to help yourself get rid of experiences that could become toxic over time. Everyone can come up with their own way that suits you. Possible option of burning, "ritual burning", if you like.
Firstly, this is a kind of purification ritual and it is no secret that in many cultures they use fire for this.
Secondly, when your loved one dies, and you really want him to hear your thoughts, feelings, it may sound mystical, but you can “deliver” the letter in this way to where the letters are not “sent” and in this case, burning, can be thought of as a "delivery" method.
I hope that this technique will help many in a situation where your feelings and experiences do not have the opportunity to be heard by those who are important to you, or who are no longer with you, or to free your life from unspoken phrases, thoughts and feelings. … published by econet.ru
Dnisheva Tamila