This article will help you understand why we unconsciously give up happiness. Instead of agreeing to happiness, we criticize, blame others, and remain unhappy. This happens because of an unconscious life.
A conscious life is a life in understanding and real acceptance of oneself, as a person capable of achieving everything he wants. And it all depends on our choice. The choice to be happy right here and now! Choosing to work in a job that brings happiness. The choice to be loved and to love.
The unconscious rejection of everything that can make you happy happens for the simple reason that you are mostly living unconsciously. But, no matter how paradoxical it sounds, most people do not want to accept and realize that important moment for correcting certain problems. It seems to them that they are aware of everything, and each act is performed under the watchful eye of the conscious "I". In fact, this is not the case. For example, a man constantly changes jobs at intervals of 6 months. On a rational level, he puts forward various justifications: “I left this job because …” In fact, after analysis, he sees that this was pushed to this by an unresolved conflict with his father, which he constantly transferred to the leader, and in general in front of society.
Examples from my practice show that we are motivated to unconsciously reject success, health and happiness by programs coming from the clan, early childhood. Therefore, when you complain that you are unhappy, you can further say after reading this material: "I want to realize what prevents me from becoming happy." It should be remembered that any information on this topic is useless if you do not take action. "How to proceed?" - they ask me. Formulate a request for what you want here and now, and do whatever is necessary to get the result. Sometimes a student comes to me and says: "You know, nothing has changed for me yet." To which I answer him: "Apparently, there is still no full realization of what is resisting within you against your request."
You should know that by working through your complexes, internal conflict, you create a base for the inner "I" to automatically work out the obstacle that has arisen to receiving the desired answer to the request … Without a foundation called "awareness", a person will constantly create problems for himself and suffer, similar to how the Titanic crashed on the invisible part of the iceberg. In a state of awareness, a person in his living space (whatever he does) falls, the illness perceives as a lesson, successfully passes it and moves on, and after the fall, the neurotic continues to lie and suffer. In other words, the neurotic abandons the lesson learned, criticizes, blames others for his problems, and suffers further.
In order for you to realize right now your resistance to happiness, you need to ask yourself the following question: what would I do now if I were offered:
- change jobs;
- change your place of residence;
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- get a divorce?
Think for a few minutes and write down the answers, that is, those feelings, images that just spontaneously came to mind after reading these questions. For example, if you have a fear of the unknown (work, place of residence, etc.), then perhaps this fear does not allow you to live one hundred percent.
What helps remove the obstacle to happiness?
The first thing to look at is how the law of the mirror works. I already wrote that everything that happens to us and around us is a reflection of what is happening in the depths of our essence. Therefore, there is no need to look for an answer to the question "How to remove the obstacle to happiness?" out. He is within you. Pythagoras wrote about this: "Do not chase after happiness, it is always in you."
The second step in dealing with the obstacle to happiness is forging a good working alliance with your unconscious. Without this, you will not get anything in terms of self-correction, just as a parent does not get anything good in the process of education if he has a bad psycho-emotional contact with his child. Further, when you turn to yourself, to the depths of your self, you automatically become able to be aware of the here and now. An internal working alliance with your “I”, as in the case of a therapeutic alliance, enables you to perform various psychoanalytic procedures, overcome your own resistance to painful insights and expand your awareness of yourself and the living space in general.
Such work helps to be honest in the process of introspection, to be aware of the inner field of "I", for example, to conduct an exemplary dialogue with myself: "I cannot get married because I resist it, and not because there are no worthy partners" or "I have I am in conflict with the children, because I am anxious and interfere in their lives … ". You will probably agree that, at first glance, these are very simple phrases. And in practice, only a few can pronounce them, let alone work in the psychoanalytic space.
Psychoanalysis shows that you should always look for a way out of a problem in the situation that led you to it. Simply put, where there is an exit, there is an entrance. More often, the entrance and exit into the space of the problem is trauma in the primary relationship with the parents. Therefore, there is no need to look for a way out of the problem in alcohol, medications, etc. It is in the awareness of how childhood psychotrauma still controls your destiny. For example, a young woman says: "I am at a dead end … Not a single man whom I have met on my path in life suits me." Where do you think this woman's way out of the dead end of fate looks like? Perhaps you are already coming to the understanding that she should realize in the here and now mode,how the absence of the father or the denial of him on her part and on the part of her mother supports in her unconscious the format of a negative image of a man and generally distorts her perception of relations with him.
In addition to being aware of your internal conflicts, it is necessary to accept the idea that in a person's life there are always ups and downs at all levels. Observe right now how your chest is moving. You see, when you inhale, it rises, and when you exhale, it goes down. And we are not upset when it goes down. An aware person is not upset if a fall occurs (stressful situation). He knows that this is a lesson that he must learn and live on. The neurotic is not capable of this. He skips the next lesson, a hint and creates another obstacle to happiness. He is no different from a student who has failed. Only a poor student is afraid of school, and a neurotic is afraid of life in general. Although the psyche, body, events suggest how to remove obstacles to happiness, the neurotic is not ready to look at himself from the outside, to see and admit what is happening. More often, he reproaches the other that he himself cannot give.
Developing awareness of the obstacle to happiness
When you read such texts and perform psychotechnics, you automatically develop awareness. By focusing your conscious ray on what you feel now, what your body is experiencing, what is happening in your life, you are able to understand yourself and control your psychic energy and body, to receive an answer to a request from the general information field.
So, next I want to offer an exercise to develop awareness
Working with your request
Sit back, close your eyes, and do the relaxation exercise. After that, open your eyes and on a pre-prepared piece of paper write 3 wishes that are very important to you today. Select the average desire (2nd from your list). Ask yourself, contemplating the chosen desire: "What did I do today (actions, thoughts, etc.) so that this desire is not fulfilled?"
Next, ask yourself: "How do I here and now motivate (justify) my inaction in terms of the fulfillment of desire?" Are you now aware of something that you previously did not realize about your rejection of happiness?
Next, close your eyes, breathe calmly through your nose. Imagine that your wish has come true. Visualize a picture of what is happening … Take a deep breath and open your eyes.
Record what you realized after doing this technique in your health diary.
In conclusion, I would like to give some useful questions that will help you remove obstacles to happiness in time.
- Do I know what I want here and now?
- Am I criticizing, judging, complaining, evaluating, or practicing awareness and acting to get what I asked for?
- How do I resist changes in my life?
- Do I always imagine what the final result of my query looks like?
- How often do I train my will and ability to act?
So, in this material (a more expanded presentation will be in my new book), I wanted to lead you to the idea that when we realize, we take control of our life. This is confirmed by the practice of life and thinkers of all times. In particular, D. Locke wrote the following about this: "The happiness and unhappiness of a person are mostly the work of his hands."