Love lives for three years: why do they say that, because you really want to believe that this amazing inspiring feeling, about which poetry and songs are written, will be eternal?
If we analyze the relations in modern society, then everyone can find many examples of their existence for exactly three years. Even seemingly strong couples break up after the allotted time to throw themselves into the arms of a new love, which, like clockwork, will end … in three years.
In social psychology, the very feeling that causes trembling in the knees and the feeling of butterflies in the stomach is called love-passion. It is accompanied by arousal (not only sexually) directed at one particular person. With him, you constantly want to be near, touch, talk. Even short-term separations cause stress, panic and anxiety.
We can say that this feeling is akin to an attachment to alcohol or drugs. In terms of psychology, this period is perceived as a kind of bliss, accompanied by euphoria: the world around it seems to be drowning in sunlight and flowers, and all this is due to the object of adoration.
By the way, the notorious butterflies in the stomach are not just a figurative expression, but the result of the production of the hormone norepinephrine. Without the object of their adoration, the production of stress hormone - cortisol begins. It is he who interferes with sleep at night and brings melancholy.
But nothing lasts forever in the sublunary world. A person gradually gets used to everything, and such a period cannot last more than 30 months, no matter how much one wants it. After about two years, the human body adapts and begins to produce endorphins. These chemicals have a relaxing effect and make you feel more comfortable and relaxed in the presence of your other half.
Promotional video:
This is how the time of love-passion ends. And against this background, quarrels with a person who just recently wanted to idolize and throw the world at his feet look especially terrible. The person begins to think that the partner is actually different, and during the relationship he simply pretended. But it’s not so: it’s just time for love-passion to end.
And at this moment the couple is faced with the realization that the relationship is a serious, every second and very difficult job. Many do not want to do it, and the couple breaks off the relationship. Everything converges mathematically: they met for a year, two lived in marriage, and for another year they suffered in quarrels, scandals and attempts to remake each other.
Can this situation be avoided? Yes, if you build a relationship based on love-friendship. Unlike passion, it does not excite, but gives a feeling of tender affection. It is on this that most happy marriages are based. If you do not want to break off relations or get divorced, then you need to make every effort to transfer love-passion into love-friendship. She does not even exclude lust and intimacy at all, but at the same time it is more demanding on the efforts of partners.
For everything to work out, you need to focus not on what does not work out in the relationship, but on what turns out well. Cultivate and sustain it like a fire, do your best, show attention and interest in your half.
Undoubtedly, this is hard work, which is not accompanied by love-passion. But relationships built on love-friendship can last until death.
Author: Galateya
