Or why affirmations don't work.
Indeed, why?
Remember, in the Soviet film "The Most Charming and Attractive" Susanna taught Nadya Klyueva female charms?
So, the affirmations worked, but … not quite the way we would like. Why?
My guess is that Nadia initially had low self-esteem. Sussana was only able to support her friend a little. But it would not have been possible to radically change her condition. And there is a reason for this, low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem is a condition. It is very similar to the state of the Sacrifice, in which the following thoughts arise:
- “I'm not attractive to men,” “I'm not attractive enough to be loved,” “I'm fat,” “I'm stupid, etc.
This state is triggered by the neural circuits "I am not worthy", which were formed in the brain under certain conditions. When? Usually in childhood.
Promotional video:
The longer and worse the parents treated the girl in her childhood, the more stable the neural circuits in her brain.
Why don't the “I deserve the best (fill in)” affirmations work?
Because they do not destroy old established neural connections, but create unstable new ones. Next to the old ones.
The girl could be treated well and even loved her very much. But if in childhood the father left the family, then this alone can completely "kill" self-esteem.
It's all about self-esteem
Or why affirmations don't work.
Indeed, why?
Remember, in the Soviet film "The Most Charming and Attractive" Susanna taught Nadya Klyueva female charms?
So, the affirmations worked, but … not quite the way we would like. Why?
My guess is that Nadia initially had low self-esteem. Sussana was only able to support her friend a little. But it would not have been possible to radically change her condition. And there is a reason for this, low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem is a condition. It is very similar to the state of the Sacrifice, in which the following thoughts arise:
- “I'm not attractive to men,” “I'm not attractive enough to be loved,” “I'm fat,” “I'm stupid, etc.
This state is triggered by the neural circuits "I am not worthy", which were formed in the brain under certain conditions. When? Usually in childhood.
The longer and worse the parents treated the girl in her childhood, the more stable the neural circuits in her brain.
Why don't the “I deserve the best (fill in)” affirmations work?
Because they do not destroy old established neural connections, but create unstable new ones. Next to the old ones.
The girl could be treated well and even loved her very much. But if in childhood the father left the family, then this alone can completely "kill" self-esteem.
We do not know how the heroine of the film is doing with her father. But it looks like he is not in her life.
Not without reason, the most serious injury is the “abandoned” one.
A girl with low self-esteem is like a "leaking vessel." No matter how many lei, it is impossible to fill.
No matter how good her partner treats her, she will always find something that will bring her pain and disappointment:
- Didn't you give a gift? I knew it…
- Gave it, but not the one? Do not you hear me!
- Didn't you call? I am indefferent for you!
What to do? "Treat" childhood trauma.
Olga Fedoseeva, mental psychologist