"Grandma, I was flying in a dream again!" - the child woke up with a happy smile, and the triumphant grandmother's "You are flying, then you are growing!", in general, did not sin against the truth. And now let's try to imagine another scenario: the baby's sleep is restless, after a sudden awakening he babbles in fright: “Grandma, I was flying in my sleep again …” Reaction of a loving grandmother? Having calmed her grandson, she will complain in her soul about the excessive impressionability inherent in tender age, will hasten to feed the child with delicious yogurt - and the little grief will be forgotten … until the next dream.
FLIGHTS IN DREAM OR REALITY?
Memories of strange or unpleasant dreams sometimes haunt us throughout our lives, and not necessarily some special "nightmare". Sometimes vague images and vague sensations frighten only with the persistence with which they periodically visit us in a dream. We feel like hostages of a secret that lies behind an incomprehensible dream and does not give rest. Obsessive dreams, as a rule, are distinguished by the monotony of plots: then, languishing with fear or guilt, we are looking for and cannot find our favorite toy; Trying desperately and unable to catch up with a fading friend. We wander through dark, endless labyrinths or climb rickety stairs; "Numb" at the blackboard under the strict gaze of the teacher … If, as adults, we continue to receive such "messages", this most likely speaks (cries out!)that from our childhood we have picked up unresolved problems and they continue to influence our lives.
TO SLEEP OR NOT TO SLEEP?
We spend a third of our lives in a dream, and I would like to hope that it is not in vain. Well, what about, you say, a long-known scientific fact: it is in a dream that the brain rests and reserves of vital energy are replenished. Perhaps, only modern medicine does not agree with the generally accepted truth. Scientists have come to the sensational conclusion that the main function of sleep is dreaming.
Dreams are the "playground" of the emotional sphere, the main component of the human personality. A child's dreams are a litmus test of his developmental state. If a child develops without problems in all aspects - emotional, social and intellectual - his dreams are filled with happy, joyful and creative images and feelings. If there are disturbing images and emotions in dreams, this means that the child is experiencing difficulties in his development. Objects and symbols in a child's dreams are very important, as they are always a reflection of his relationship with parents, peers, school.
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OPEN SILENT WALKET …
All impressions, feelings, thoughts, fears, creative impulses slide from the upper, daytime, levels of consciousness into the subconscious and are stored there with seven seals in a kind of virtual space, nicknamed by psychologists as a "secret garden" (we also know this space, but we used to call his "soul", in the depths of which we all know, remember, understand). The tight control of the subconscious is weakened only in the deep sleep stage, and we can “see” what is kept under lock and key in the “cherished garden”. Hidden emotions burst outward in the form of a dream or nightmare. If you wake up at the "right" moment, you can remember at least part of what you dreamed about and get some idea of the problem that the subconscious mind has chosen to consider.
NIGHTMARES. USE "FOR PEACEFUL PURPOSES"
A reliable watchdog - a defense mechanism - prevents unpleasant memories from floating upstairs, protecting the daytime life from discomfort. So we get rid of unresolved problems, not suspecting that even from imprisonment they continue to influence, and in the most undesirable way, our life, hinting about their existence except in dreams. Freed from the censorship of daytime prohibitions, our unconscious creates images that fairly accurately reflect real events. If problems or conflicts are associated with loved ones, dear or authoritative people (for a child these are parents, school teacher, friends), the subconscious mind, on the contrary, masks them in fantastic symbols. The strange images that sometimes appear in nightmares actually protect the child from having to admit the source of the worry. So the nightmares are dreamingwhen the subconscious cannot cope with the "volcano" of emotions locked up. The stage of "manifested disease" begins. Now you can “diagnose” and “start treatment”. Obviously, first of all, the child needs to be helped to remember the dream in as much detail as possible. To determine what kind of problem is hidden in the intricacies of a nightmare, "key" questions will help:
- What details were the most striking in the child's story?
- The characters of his dream were familiar; can he determine what feelings he experienced in a dream?
- What emotions were predominant in his dream?
- Did the child play an active or passive role?
- As the child himself thinks - what is the meaning of his dream?
GREEN BABY
Try to decipher the dream of nine-year-old Misha: “I ran through our garden, and the plants grabbed my legs. I tried to run faster, but they grew and got longer. One wrapped around my leg, but I managed to escape. I knew they were after me. My heart was pounding, and it seemed to me that I would die if I did not get out of the garden. And when, at last, he reached the far end of the garden, the wooden gate turned into a school gate - so shiny, iron. They grew and got taller and taller, and I just couldn't reach the heck."
What the child felt after waking up: waking up, Misha was literally paralyzed with fear. He did not understand why he dreamed of such monstrous plants. He remembered that, having reached the garden gate, he got angry when it turned into a school gate, slamming it like a trap in the terrible garden. The boy's mother heard that he was crying in his sleep and came to calm him down. But even after that, he could not shake off his fear until morning.
As it turned out, Misha had been hiding his school problem for a long time.
The boy was short and was attacked and harassed at school. He wanted to tell about it at home, but the "grandfathers" threatened that if he complained, he would be even worse. While the persecution took the form of offensive nicknames, threats, trips, money was taken from him for breakfast. But Misha was afraid that the offenders would fulfill their threats and beat him if he could not bring them more money than before.
EMERGENCY AID - BY OWN FORCE
Specific exercises are ideal when you feel you need a powerful remedy to stop recurring nightmares. They are designed to help your child regain their confidence after being scared and give them confidence that you are "on their side."
Once you have established the root cause of the nightmare, try any of the following techniques.
LUCKY CASE
When your child is getting ready for bed, offer him a happy moment or event, such as from last summer. Ask your baby to recall a pleasant event in all its details. Who was involved? When exactly was it? Does he remember how he felt? Now ask if he would like to revive this event in his dream. Explain that you should try to keep in mind the happy moments until you fall asleep.
FUN JOURNEY
Before going to bed, ask your child what kind of journey he would like to go on. The answer may surprise you. Ask why he chose this particular place and how he imagines it. Find it in an atlas or reference book. Use questions and suggestions to help write the adventure travel story to the “destination”.
Offer to do this trip in your sleep.
RUN SCARY
After the baby has had a nightmare, ask him to draw it in all the details. Then have the child crumple the drawing or even tear it up. Here you have to say: "You see, you are stronger than him!" For recurring nightmares, it is good to practice "team" statements, something like "I am stronger than you, you will not come back!" You can compose a rhythmic rhyme or song on this topic and sing loudly or repeat it during the day, it’s also good to laugh, you can box.
You can invite the child to draw himself in the image of a giant and next to a tiny - in comparison with a giant - an image from a nightmare. Now the child can imagine what he, like a giant, will do to a nightmarish dwarf. Then he can rip up the drawing and send it to the trash can with "command" statements.
Yulia Agafonova