If you can't deny yourself something, like ice cream, then ice cream rules you. If you limit yourself to ice cream, then it has double control over you. Because now, self-loathing and guilt in case you couldn't resist mingle with the discomfort of not having it. If you completely deny ice cream, then it dominates you, because it managed to cut off a piece of your reality.
Also - with other desires: alcohol, sex, cigarettes, money, adrenaline. Quitting smoking is difficult not because of chemical addiction, but because the quitter depends on cigarettes much more than the smoker. The oppositionist fighting for democracy will never become a free citizen - he is a slave to the struggle. An ascetic monk will never overcome the "passion of the flesh" - he will remain a slave to denial. Acceptance and rejection are just metamorphoses of addiction.
Wisdom lies not in self-restraint, not in total asceticism, but in balance. You become free from your desires when you maintain inner comfort, regardless of whether you get what you want or not. The beauty of this freedom is that you are invulnerable.
Are you happy or … happy.
Alexander Menshikov