Money unleashes war and ecstasy, maddening and hopeful. They can be despised, but you cannot do without them. The paradox is that we know how they work, but we have not yet developed a clear formula for a healthy relationship with finances, being bogged down in attitudes, stereotypes and even mysticism.
DOES NOT HAVE A LOT OF MONEY
Ask anyone - even a modest pensioner, even a billionaire: there is always not enough money for complete happiness (or peace of mind). The reasons for financial "gluttony" are quite banal and boil down to the natural desire of a person to live better, eat sweeter, have more, move to a new level, which is more expensive. Money acts as a tool that, in fact, leads us to the nirvana of possession. It is normal to desire and even love money and is not at all ashamed. But the main thing here is not to overdo it, not to overlove. It is very important from the very beginning to find a worthy place for money in the hierarchy of values. Precisely worthy, since both the neglect of money and the exaggeration of their importance are equally destructive.
MAGIC ELIXIR
In the hands of a mature person with a harmonious system of values, motivated to achieve success with their work, intelligence, talent, money is really a working tool. An adequate attitude to themselves and to the world allows such people to operate with money responsibly and reasonably, without going to extremes. But are there many of them?..
Burdened by parental indifference or overprotection, bewildered by false attitudes, surviving the ridicule of peers or experiencing the delight of superiority, we carry the burden of mistakes and stereotypes into adulthood. And this is where the "fun" begins! Some turn money into a fetish and save, save, driven by fear of poverty. Others leave scorched earth behind them on their way to the desired wealth. Still others litter with money, winning the love of others in the most primitive way. The variations are endless.
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Phrases like “happiness is not in money, but in their quantity” betrays our holy faith in their magical properties to solve almost any problem. And for a while, money does help out - but it doesn't fix the problem. The fear of poverty will not be relieved by millions on the account, and low self-esteem, which has formed the habit of buying the attention of loved ones, will not become normal, even if the whole family is showered with gold and diamonds. Internal complexes that we are trying to pacify with money will require new food, new sacrifices, new investments. It is naive to wait for healing, struggling exclusively with the symptoms of the disease. However, let's leave pathology to medicine. Our audience is a thinking person, able to adequately assess themselves and the world, to be happy regardless of the amount of money.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE
Where is the button that launches the mechanism of a healthy relationship with money, where are the instructions for use, what is the safety precautions? For example, the golden rule of economics “money makes money” at the philistine level quite often fails, running into a wall of sacramental questions: where to get it? how not to squander? what is profitable to invest in? It turns out to be a vicious circle. Because in real life people make money, and people tend to dream, plan, set goals. So set goals - specific and high, intermediate and global. Think about what you want to achieve, present in detail, detail, social context and time. And then a system of priorities will be formed by itself, and money will begin to fulfill its direct function - to serve you.
Of course, a strong education opens the door to the world of stable earnings, prestigious work and brings us closer to that very cherished goal. True, if the existing knowledge and skills are relevant in the labor market here and now. And this market is changeable and depends on many factors. From the nineties, when nuclear physicists shook the streets, and teachers sold overseas junk in the markets, an indulgent emerges: "If you are so smart, why are you so poor?" And today has given birth to a host of unemployed economists and lawyers. Gloomy? But, but, don't panic! Man is a completely adaptive creature. Be the best in your business, rely on God-given abilities, do what you are really interested in. Do not be afraid to change your profession, try, take risks and, of course, study for the rest of your days!
The attentive reader, of course, has already understood everything about the place and purpose of money. It remains to figure out how to organize their movement, how to direct them in the right direction with minimal losses and the greatest benefit. I have no ready-made recipes, but general recommendations can be given.
Take responsibility for your finances and share it with your spouses and children. This will avoid mutual reproaches like "where is the money, Zin?" Children will receive the basics of economic literacy, and the family clan will inevitably rally in the process of solving common problems.
Plan your budget. A balanced decision on how much and on what to spend within a month, a year, or the next decade will help you organize your spending effectively and not get into debt. Distribute funds. Ensure a decent life, invest in development, which can be education, business, dream, and do not forget to put it off for a rainy day - anything can happen. Here it is important to observe the measure and ensure a full-fledged today, a prosperous tomorrow and a comfortable ending.
Be sure to share your money. Help others when they really need support. It gives a sense of belonging, increases self-esteem, and returns a hundredfold in the future. Only one must share sincerely, delicately, not counting on gratitude.
KILL THE DRAGON
On this optimistic note, one could end. But we haven’t yet worked through the underlying root causes of a difficult relationship with money. Stop complaining about the crisis, the tyrant boss, high prices. Shift the focus of attention from external factors to yourself. And sooner or later you will understand: the problem "sits" inside.
The next step is to find the starting point. Imagine that your life is a movie, and replay the tape in the opposite direction. Slowly going through the memories, look through your youth, youth, childhood. Monitor your mood, try to find an event that formed a false attitude, protest or conditioned reflex of a wrong attitude to money. Do not hesitate, you will recognize "that" moment by the surge of feelings that will overwhelm you.
Then transfer the key memory to paper. You can write an angry letter or express your emotions in a drawing. Vague, vague images of the past must materialize into concrete words or images.
Now get rid of the load. Take advantage of the power of the elements. The most powerful archetypes, born of primitive thinking, invariably affect modern man. Burn your notes in a candle or campfire flame, pretending to be freed from the resentment and bitterness of mistakes. Blow the ashes to the wind, freeing them from fear and doubt once and for all. Do you want to cry, scream? So don't hold back! Let the pain out. Then take a bath or shower (in summer it is better to swim in a natural reservoir): let the water carry away the negativity of the past and make room in your soul for forgiveness and acceptance. And then on this fertile soil the seeds of emotional freedom, positive perception of oneself and life will sprout. And this, dear reader, is the basis for future success and prosperity!
Irina KABARDINA, psychologist